Zhu Xian: They've all been reborn

Lu Xueqi stood alone under a red plum tree in full bloom.

Against the backdrop of red silk and lamplight, the moon-white Taoist robe appeared detached from the times, its aloofness almost incongruous, yet breathtakingly beautiful.

She didn't look at him, but quietly watched the direction the newlyweds left in. Her profile was flickering in the lamplight, revealing no emotion.

Biyao sat at the table next to Tian Buyi and Su Ru, chatting and laughing with Su Ru, making Su Ru cover her mouth and giggle.

She seemed to sense his gaze, suddenly turned her head, winked at him, and gave him a sly yet bright smile.

Then, from an angle where Su Ru couldn't see, he mouthed something to him, and judging from the mouth shape, it was "We're next."

Little White appeared out of nowhere, carrying a wine jug, leaning against a pillar, and took a swig.

Her silver hair flowed with a warm light under the lamplight, her peach blossom eyes were hazy, she looked at him as if she were drunk, and a faint smile played on her lips.

Tian Ling'er sat next to Shui Yue, sipping the fruit wine slowly, her cheeks flushed and her eyes somewhat unfocused.

She would steal a glance at him every now and then, then quickly lower her head, her fingers unconsciously twisting the hem of her clothes.

Linglong did not appear at the lively banquet, but Jiang Xiaochuan knew that she must be at Qiwuzhu, perhaps sitting under the eaves, listening to the faint laughter carried by the wind, with a gentle smile on her lips.

Long Nianchuan might rest his head on her lap and ask her what marriage is.

Jin Ping'er sat at the table with the disciples of Xiaozhu Peak, her head down, eating her food in small bites, almost invisible.

Only occasionally, when she looked up at the newlyweds, a hint of envy and sadness would appear in her eyes, before she would quickly lower her head again.

They are all there.

They exist in their own ways, watching over him.

Jiang Xiaochuan suddenly felt something blocking his chest, a stuffy and swollen feeling.

As the alcohol took effect, a mixture of the chaos, confusion, and helplessness of the past few days, along with a surge of impulse quietly welling up from the depths of my heart under the influence of the festive atmosphere, rose within me.

He pushed away Du Bishu, who was crowding around to offer him a toast, said, "I'm going to get some fresh air," and then got up and staggered out of the noisy Shoujing Hall.

A night breeze cooled the heat on my face, but my mind became even more confused.

He wandered aimlessly, and before he knew it, he had arrived at the waterfall on the back mountain.

Far from the hustle and bustle of the banquet, there was only the sound of rushing water and the cool moonlight.

He walked to the edge of the pool, squatted down, scooped up a handful of cool spring water and splashed it on his face, trying to clear his head.

But the more I try to clear my head, the clearer those images and words become.

Lu Xueqi hugged him in the bamboo forest and whispered in his ear, "Next time, it won't just be a look."

Biyao threw herself into his arms and cried, saying, "I missed you so much."

The girl in white lay half-undressed on his bed, laughing at him, "You've already fainted."

Tian Ling'er blushed and secretly looked at him.

Linglong said gently, "It's always quiet here."

Jin Ping'er knelt on the ground and cried, "I had thoughts I shouldn't have had."

And just now, there was Lu Xueqi, all alone under the plum tree; Biyao, winking at him; Xiaobai, leaning against the pillar drinking wine; Tian Ling'er, stealing glances at him; the quiet Linglong; and the somber Jin Ping'er...

There is only one of him.

"We're all the same. We all want to have it all, but it's impossible for us to have it all."

"Why not just stay like this, watch over him, protect him, and wait for him?"

"I'd rather be unwilling than lose him, or see him suffer and run away."

Lu Xueqi's words, calm to the point of being cruel, rang in my ears once again.

Jiang Xiaochuan suddenly stood up and slammed his fist hard on the rock next to him. He felt a sharp pain in the back of his hand, but he couldn't suppress the turbulent emotions churning inside him.

On what grounds?

Why should he be forced to hide and be troubled like this?

Why should he have to endure these feelings that he doesn't understand or want to understand?

He is Jiang Xiaochuan! He is just Jiang Xiaochuan!

It wasn't some damned past life lover!

He is neither a substitute for anyone nor his property!

But... another voice faintly rose in my heart.

However, seeing Lu Xueqi's cold eyes, he felt a pang of heartache.

He would soften when he saw Biyao crying.

Seeing Xiaobai's teasing smile, he would blush and his heart would race.

He couldn't bear to see Tian Ling'er so disappointed.

Seeing Linglong brings him a sense of peace.

He would feel helpless when he saw Jin Ping'er crying.

He hated being led by the nose, hated this chaotic relationship, hated being kept in the dark like a fool...

But he couldn't deny that each of them had left a mark on his heart.

Whether deep or shallow, clear or blurry, it certainly exists.

"Ah—!" he roared at the waterfall, but his voice was quickly drowned out by the roar of the water.

"What are you yelling for? It's so noisy."

A cold, clear voice sounded from behind.

Jiang Xiaochuan stiffened and slowly turned around.

Lu Xueqi had arrived here at some point and was standing not far behind him. The moonlight shone on her, making her look as if she were wearing a layer of silver gauze.

Her face was expressionless; she simply looked at him quietly, her eyes clear in the moonlight, reflecting his disheveled appearance.

"I..." Jiang Xiaochuan opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but found his throat dry and he couldn't say anything.

Lu Xueqi slowly walked up to him, very close enough that he could smell the crisp plum blossom scent emanating from her, mixed with a faint hint of alcohol. She had also drunk some alcohol.

"Are you unhappy?" she asked softly.

Jiang Xiaochuan looked at her face so close to his own. On that cold and beautiful face, there was no coercion, no grievance, no mockery, only calmness and a trace of...tenderness.

Perhaps he misread it.

"I..." He lowered his head, looking at his toes, "I don't know... I'm so confused."

"Because of them?" Lu Xueqi asked.

"Hmm," Jiang Xiaochuan responded listlessly.

"Because of me too?"

"……Um."

Lu Xueqi was silent for a moment, then reached out and gently lifted his chin, forcing him to look at her.

Her fingers were slightly cool and had a delicate feel.

"Jiang Xiaochuan," she called his name, her voice soft but each word clear, "look at me."

Jiang Xiaochuan was forced to look into her cold eyes, in which his bewildered face was clearly reflected.

"You can choose," Lu Xueqi said, her voice calm and even, yet carrying a resolute force.

"Choose Biyao, Xiaobai, Ling'er, Linglong, or even Jin Ping'er, it's all up to you. That's your choice."

Jiang Xiaochuan was stunned, staring blankly at her.

"But," Lu Xueqi tightened her fingertips slightly, pinching his chin to prevent him from looking away.

"You can't run away. You can't hide like this, be afraid, and pretend nothing happened. That's not fair to them, and it's not fair to you."

"I..." Jiang Xiaochuan wanted to explain, but found himself speechless. He was indeed on the run.

"You can choose either one."

Lu Xueqi looked at him and spoke slowly and deliberately, her voice finally revealing a faint, suppressed emotion—the emotion of hundreds of years of waiting, the fear of losing something and then regaining it, and the unspeakable love buried deep in her heart.

"Except for not choosing."

"Except..." Jiang Xiaochuan murmured repeatedly.

"Yes, except for not choosing it."

Lu Xueqi released her grip and took a half step back. The moonlight enveloped her again, and her expression returned to its usual cool calm. However, there seemed to be a glimmer of light deep in her eyes.

"You can dislike me, you can choose someone else, that's your right. But you can't push all of us away and hide away just because you're afraid of trouble, because you don't understand, or because you're afraid to face it. Jiang Xiaochuan, that's cruel."

cruel?

Jiang Xiaochuan felt as if his heart had been violently struck.

He looked at Lu Xueqi, this woman who was as pure and aloof as snow and as proud as plum blossoms, standing under the moonlight, and said to him that his escape was cruel.

Yes, he's been on the run.

He thought that if he didn't think about it or confront it, the problem would disappear on its own.

But the problem didn't disappear. They were still there, their feelings were still there, and because of his avoidance, things became even more chaotic and harder to manage.

He suddenly remembered his senior brother's face full of happiness and silly smile when they were getting married.

I recall the gentle light in my master's wife's eyes when she looked at him. I recall the sincere blessings and joy on everyone's faces in Shoujing Hall.

He also longed for... that kind of simple and clear happiness.

But his happiness, it seems, was destined from the very beginning to be complicated, chaotic, and even... crowded.

He looked at Lu Xueqi.

Under the moonlight, her face was unrealistically perfect, aloof and distant, yet possessing a fatal attraction.

Was she his wife in a past life?

He doesn't remember.

But in this life, from the very first moment I saw her, there was that inexplicable sense of familiarity, that involuntary closeness and trust, and the fluttering of my heart and the sense of peace I felt every time she came near…

He could choose Biyao's passion, Xiaobai's allure, Ling'er's charm, Linglong's gentleness, or even Jin Ping'er's infatuation... He had many reasons to choose any of them.

But what reason could he possibly have not to choose Lu Xueqi?

No.

Not at all.

She is the most dazzling genius of Qingyun Sect, a pure and noble fairy, and an existence that many admire but dare not profane.

But she would take the initiative to hug him in the bamboo forest, bring him food, and calmly tell him when he was flustered, "You can choose anyone, except not to choose anyone." When he was most at a loss, she would give him a direction, even if that direction might not include her.

She didn't want anything, she just wanted him not to run away.

The tangled mess in my mind was suddenly and decisively cut off by an invisible, swift blade.

Those hesitations, those fears, those self-righteous "unbearable" feelings—all seemed so ridiculous and... cowardly under Lu Xueqi's calm gaze.

Jiang Xiaochuan suddenly took a step forward, and under Lu Xueqi's slightly surprised gaze, he reached out his hands and hugged her tightly.

He used a lot of force, as if he was using all his strength to try and meld her into his body.

Lu Xueqi's body stiffened slightly at first, then relaxed, with a softness that was almost trembling.

She didn't move, letting him hold her. But her hands, which had been hanging by her sides, slowly rose, hesitated for a moment, and finally gently wrapped around his waist, very lightly, as if afraid of disturbing something.

Jiang Xiaochuan buried his face in the crook of her neck, his nose filled with the crisp fragrance of plum blossoms, mixed with her unique and comforting aura.

His muffled voice came from her shoulder, nasal, and with a hint of resolute determination:

"I'm not running away anymore."

Lu Xueqi didn't say anything, but tightened her grip on his waist.

"I'm not choosing either," Jiang Xiaochuan continued in a muffled voice, his tone slightly indistinct yet unusually clear.

"I can't choose... I can't let go of any of them."

I'm greedy, I'm a jerk, I know...

But I can't help it.

It hurts me to see you sad.

Seeing Biyao cry makes my heart soften.

Seeing Xiaobai... makes me blush.

Seeing Ling'er so downcast would break my heart.

Seeing Linglong makes me feel peaceful.

Seeing Jin Ping'er... I would feel sorry.

I hate this, but I can't change it.

He looked up and gazed into Lu Xueqi's eyes, which were so close to his own. In those clear, cold eyes, his face was clearly reflected, as was the desperate glint in his own eyes.

"So, I'm not choosing it."

He repeated himself, his voice not loud, but unusually firm.

"If you... you can all stay. If you don't... then... forget it."

After he finished speaking, as if he had used up all his courage, he closed his eyes, steeled his heart, and kissed Lu Xueqi's pale pink, slightly parted lips without a care in the world.

It feels slightly cool and soft to the touch, with a faint scent of plum blossoms and wine.

Lu Xueqi's body stiffened abruptly, and the hands around his waist tightened instantly, her nails even digging into his flesh through his clothes.

Her eyes suddenly widened, her pupils contracted, and she could clearly see Jiang Xiaochuan's tightly closed, slightly trembling eyelashes and his flushed face reflected in them.

Time seemed to stand still at that moment.

The roar of the waterfall and the distant noise all disappeared.

All that remained was the raw, resolute, and trembling sensation on my lips.

Then, Lu Xueqi closed her eyes, her long eyelashes fluttering gently like the wings of a startled butterfly.

She didn't push him away or respond; she just stood there stiffly, letting him kiss her awkwardly and haphazardly.

A warm drop of liquid, without warning, slid down from the corner of her tightly closed eye, disappeared into her temple, and vanished.

After a long time, or perhaps only a moment, Jiang Xiaochuan suddenly released her as if he had been burned, took a step back, gasped for breath, his face flushed red, and his eyes darted around in a panic, not daring to look at her.

What did he just do?

He actually... forcibly kissed Lu Xueqi?

Lu Xueqi slowly opened her eyes, her pupils misting with a thin layer of moisture, which added a touch of breathtaking fragility and charm to her usually cool and aloof appearance.

She looked at him, at his flustered and embarrassed appearance, at his ears that were red as blood, at his chest that was heaving rapidly with nervousness.

Then, she suddenly laughed.

A very faint smile, like the first light after a snowfall, or the thawing of an ice river, bloomed on her cool face in an instant, breathtakingly beautiful.

She raised her hand and gently wiped the corner of her lips with her fingertips, where his warmth and breath seemed to still linger.

"it is good."

She said her voice was a little hoarse, but it carried an unprecedented softness and... a sense of relief.

"If I don't want to choose, then I won't."

Jiang Xiaochuan was stunned, staring blankly at her.

"but,"

Lu Xueqi took a step forward, closing the distance between them again. She looked up at him, her eyes clear, reflecting the moonlight and his shadow.

"You said it yourself. No running away, no choosing. Then you have to do it."

"I..." Jiang Xiaochuan opened his mouth.

"I'll get very angry if I can't do it."

Lu Xueqi interrupted him, her tone returning to its usual coldness, but the soft smile in her eyes had not yet faded.

"The consequences of my anger are severe."

Jiang Xiaochuan subconsciously swallowed and nodded.

Lu Xueqi looked at his dumbfounded expression, and the smile in her eyes deepened.

She suddenly tiptoed, leaned close to his ear, and whispered in a voice only the two of them could hear, "Also, you were so clumsy just now. I'll teach you next time."

After speaking, she withdrew her body, turned around, and her moon-white figure gracefully departed. Her steps seemed lighter than usual, and she quickly disappeared at the end of the bamboo forest path.

Jiang Xiaochuan stood there, touching her lips that still retained the cool touch and fragrance of her lips. His mind went blank, and his face, which had just cooled down, turned bright red again.

What did she say?

Should I teach him next time?

Also, did she just... laugh?

Jiang Xiaochuan stood there blankly for a long time, until the night wind made him shiver, before he came back to his senses.

The desperate impulse in my heart gradually subsided, replaced by a strange calm, and a touch of... relief and enlightenment.

Yes, I'm not running away anymore, and I'm not choosing anymore.

So be it.

If they want to stay, they can stay. If they don't want to, they can leave.

Anyway... he couldn't bear to part with any of them, and he couldn't let go of any of them.

Then... let them all go to waste.

Although he knew that if he said these words, he might be cursed by the whole world, have his legs broken by his master, and be struck by lightning...

But he couldn't care less about that.