Tavern of the Spear: Desire for Pleasure

"I..." Kurosawa didn't know how to answer. His former good disciple, in the end, he chose to remain silent.

He lowered his head, his lips pressed tightly together, unable to utter a single word. He didn't know how to answer Bowen's question, nor how to face the situation before him.

Hei Yao had previously told Cheng Yu that Hei Ze had forgotten some things from the past. But now it seems that Hei Ze hasn't forgotten Bo Wen. He remembers Bo Wen's memories more clearly than anyone else.

Perhaps out of guilt towards his student, or perhaps out of memories of the past, Kurosawa remained silent. He simply stood there quietly, lacking the composure and authority that Bowen remembered. At this moment, he resembled a child who had done something wrong, awaiting punishment.

Bowen looked at the silent Kurosawa and didn't press further. He knew that some things didn't need to be explained too clearly.

His power began to spread outwards continuously, like a tide, spreading in all directions.

The claws that hadn't delivered the final blow to Obsidian were raised again. Those sharp claws gleamed with a cold light, as if capable of tearing anything apart.

However, when Bowen was preparing to launch another attack, he discovered that Obsidian had disappeared.

"Hmm?" Bowen frowned, a hint of doubt flashing in his eyes.

He looked around but found no trace of Obsidian.

"You're quite fast," Bowen scoffed. "But do you think you can escape my grasp?"

He turned around and looked at the silent Kurosawa beside him.

"You've cost me the best chance to kill him!" Bowen's voice was full of reproach. "I hope you won't stop me next time."

"After all, your initial ideal was to break free from Obsidian's control, kill him, and replace him as a god."

"My stance has never changed. Even if no one understands me, I will tear apart this false sky for you!"

Bowen's words were like sharp knives, piercing into Kurosawa's heart.

He looked up at Bowen, his eyes filled with complex emotions.

There was guilt, resentment, confusion, and... a trace of fear.

"I..." Kurosawa opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but in the end, he didn't say anything.

He dared not look up at Bowen, afraid to see the disappointment and anger in Bowen's eyes.

Both dragons knew exactly what the other wanted from beginning to end.

They once shared common goals and ideals.

They once fought side by side against powerful enemies.

However, in the end, one of them gave up because of certain things.

The one who gives up is the one who should least be given up on.

"Kurosawa..." Bowen's voice suddenly softened, "Do you remember the first time we met?"

Kurosawa's body trembled slightly.

He certainly remembered; it was a sunny afternoon.

Bowen was still a muddle-headed white dragon slave, while he himself was already the highest leader below Obsidian in the Black Dragon Tribe.

“Back then, you were just a little kid who didn’t know anything,” Kurosawa said with a smile. “You asked me what power was.”

"I'm telling you, strength is the ability to protect what you want to protect."

"You still ask me what God is."

"I'm telling you, God is the being that can control everything."

Bowen no longer wanted to hear his master mention these things, which had lost their meaning, so he decided to tell them himself.

"Hehe~ Yes, that's what I asked back then. He looked at me with such admiration and said that he wanted to become a strong person like his master."

"I said, I want to protect the people you want to protect, and I want to take control of my own destiny."

"I once swore that I would work with you to tear open this false sky and create a brand new world."

Bowen's voice grew lower and lower, as if he were lost in memories.

"But... later, you changed."

"You've become more and more timid and cowardly."

"You have forgotten your ideals and your promises."

"You've even... started to be afraid of me."

A flicker of pain crossed Bowen's eyes.

"Kurosawa, or rather, teacher! Tell me, why?"

"Why did you become like this?"

"I..." Kurosawa's lips trembled. He wanted to explain, but found that he was unable to explain at all.

He didn't know how to tell Bowen why he had become like this.

He didn't know how to tell Bowen what he had gone through.

He didn't know how to tell Bowen about the fear and confusion in his heart.

"I'm sorry..." Kurosawa lowered his head and said softly, "I've disappointed you..."

"Disappointed?" Bowen shook his head. "No, Kurosawa, I am not disappointed in you. You will always be my most respected teacher, and that will never change."

"I just...feel heartbroken."

"Heartache?" Kurosawa looked up at Bowen, his eyes filled with doubt.

“Yes, it hurts,” Bowen said. “I feel sorry for you. Why did it have to turn out like this?”

"My heart aches for you. Why did you forget your dreams?"

"I feel more sorry for you. Why are you afraid of me?"

Bowen's voice grew lower and lower, as if he was suppressing some kind of emotion.

"Teacher, do you know?"

"I have always regarded you as the goal I will pursue for the rest of my life."

"I have always hoped that I can always follow in my teacher's footsteps, constantly catch up with him, and become his right-hand man on this path."

"I have always believed that you can achieve your dreams and create a whole new world."

"But...you have disappointed me."

"No, I haven't let you down!" Kurosawa suddenly shouted. "I haven't forgotten my ideals, and I'm not afraid of you!"

"I just……"

"But what?" Bowen asked.

“I just… need time…” Kurosawa said. “I need time to find my own path…”

"Find your own path? Isn't this it?" Bowen smiled. "Kurosawa, you're already lost."

"You have forgotten your original direction."

“No, I haven’t forgotten!” Kurosawa said. “I just… need a little time…”

"Time?" Bowen shook his head. "Kurosawa, you don't have time."

"This world won't give you time."

"Those enemies won't give you time either."

You must make a choice as soon as possible.

"A choice?" Kurosawa asked. "A choice of what?"

“Choose your path,” Bowen said. “Choose your future.”

"The choice... is to continue to sink, or... rise again."

Bowen stood quietly, his deep gaze fixed on Kurosawa, who was bowing his head and remaining silent. He could sense the struggle and confusion within Kurosawa's heart; those complex emotions were tangled together like a jumbled mess, leaving Kurosawa speechless.

Bowen sighed deeply.

He knew that Kurosawa needed time, time to sort out his thoughts, and time to face his own heart.

He didn't look at Kurosawa again, but turned around to chase after the fleeing Kuroyo.

For Bowen, Obsidian is currently his main enemy.

He must deal with Obsidian as soon as possible to stop Obsidian's conspiracy and allow his own plans to continue.

However, just as Bowen was about to turn and leave, he keenly sensed that Kurosawa seemed to have something to say.

"..."

A sense of oppression permeated the air.

Kurosawa's lips trembled slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but hesitated.

Bowen stopped.

He turned around and looked at Kurosawa.

He knew that Kurosawa would always be his most respected mentor and the person he valued most.

Despite Kurosawa's past mistakes and disappointments, Bowen never gave up on him.

He believes that Kurosawa still retains that pursuit of "truth" and his dedication to his ideals.

"What do you want to say?" Bowen's voice was gentle and calm, as if soothing Kurosawa's uneasy heart.

He knew that if someone truly forgot something important, they wouldn't show such a complicated expression, nor would they utter such contradictory words.

Kurosawa's reaction proved that he had not forgotten everything.

He was simply trapped in a maze and couldn't find the way out.

Bowen also knew that with Kurosawa's talent and potential, given enough time, he would definitely be able to return to his peak, or even surpass it.

However, before that, Kurosawa must understand why he betrayed the world and why he abandoned his power.

He must find the answer in order to truly escape his predicament, truly take control of his own destiny, and then become the perfect "Bai Ze" in their hearts.

Time seemed to freeze at this moment.

Kurosawa slowly raised his head and looked at Bowen.

His eyes no longer held confusion and fear, but rather a firm resolve and a resolute determination.

"Bowen..." Kurosawa's voice was somewhat hoarse, but full of strength, "I... I never thought of succumbing to this false world."

"I have not betrayed you, nor have I abandoned my own power."

“I’ve been searching for the truth all along, but I was just… deceived.”

"I was deceived by something fake..."

Kurosawa's voice grew increasingly low, as if he were recalling those painful past events.

"Those false things blinded me and made me lose my way."

"I thought that was the truth, I thought that was the path I should pursue."

"But... later, I realized I was wrong."

“I was so wrong… I really don’t want to see you die countless times in front of me because of me again. You can feel my pain. After all, every time we start over, it’s either me dying for you or you dying for me. It’s all meaningless!”

A flicker of pain and regret flashed in Kurosawa's eyes.

"Isn't this why I've helped Cheng Yu time and time again?"

"You should know very well that Cheng Yu is the same kind of person as you, otherwise you wouldn't have thought of trapping him in the world you created..."

"Am i right?"

Kurosawa's voice suddenly became sharp, as if he were questioning Bowen, or perhaps questioning himself.

"..."

Bowen remained silent, simply watching Kurosawa and waiting for him to continue.

He knew that Kurosawa needed someone to confide in, someone who could understand him.

And he was willing to become that person.

“I…” Kurosawa took a deep breath and continued, “I once thought that Cheng Yu would be my companion, my friend.”

"I thought he was like me, pursuing the truth and rebelling against this false world."

"But... I was wrong."

“He is not my ally at all; he is just… a tool to use me.”

Kurosawa's voice was filled with anger and resentment.

“He took advantage of my power, my trust, and everything about me.”

"He treated me like a fool, a pawn that could be manipulated at will."

"And I... I was still foolish enough to believe him, help him, and do everything for him."

Kurosawa's body began to tremble, as if he could not withstand this enormous blow.

"Bowen, do you know that?"

"How desperate and painful I was when I discovered the truth."

"I feel like I've been betrayed by the whole world, betrayed by the people I trusted most."

“I even…thought about giving up, about ending my own life.”

Two lines of tears rolled down Kurosawa's cheeks.

Those were tears of pain, and tears of regret.

"But... I can't give up."

"I cannot simply succumb to fate, to those false things."

"I must...I must find the truth, I must...I must get justice for myself."

Kurosawa's voice became firm again.

"So... I've been searching, I've been working hard."

"I have been searching for a way to break down this false world and uncover the truth."

"I have been working hard to improve my strength and become more powerful."

"I hope... that one day, I can personally tear open this false sky and reveal the truth to the world."

A glimmer of hope shone in Kurosawa's eyes.

“Bowen, I…” Kurosawa looked at Bowen, his eyes filled with expectation, “I hope… you can believe me.”

"I hope... you can give up your current idea."

"I hope...we can continue to fight against falsehoods together, and together...create a truly good world."

Kurosawa's voice was full of sincerity and pleading; this was the first time Bowen had ever seen his teacher in such a manner.

"..."

Bowen looked at Kurosawa, a complex emotion flashing in his eyes.

He knew that Kurosawa was telling the truth.

He believed that Kurosawa had never betrayed him, nor had he ever given up on his ideals.

He was simply... deceived, his eyes were blinded.

“Teacher…” Bowen said softly, “I have always believed in you.”

"I have never doubted you."

"I know that the goal you, as your teacher, have always sought is the same as mine, but you also know that your current actions constitute betrayal!"

“Taking the wrong path… is something you can never change.”

“Now, if you are willing to come back, I can continue to be your obedient disciple.”

The learned man's voice was full of seductive meaning.

I will help you.

"I will stand with you against all that is false."

"I will work with you to create a truly wonderful world."

A strange light flickered in Bowen's eyes.

"Thank you, Bowen..." A strange red light flashed in Kurosawa's eyes, but tears welled up in his eyes again the next second.

I don't know if those were tears of emotion or tears representing something else, but it seems that this tear is just right now.