Repeatedly broken branches

"Shen Shanshan, you should go back now. I will not pursue the matter. On the day the Empress is appointed, you can apologize to her in person. In the meantime, you should go back and reflect on your mistakes at home."

"Yes, thank you, Your Majesty."

Shen Shanshan left feeling lost and dejected. She didn't know how she walked back step by step; all she knew was that she could never become empress.

Xiao Mu stammered, "What Empress? What are you talking about?"

Yu Yanjing suddenly looked at her with unusual seriousness and lowered his voice, "If I wanted you to be my empress, would you be willing?"

Xiao Mu panicked. She had never thought about this question before, and she didn't know what an empress should be like. She was afraid that there would be many women in Yu Yanjing's harem. She grew up in the palace and had seen too many tragedies caused by vying for favor. She didn't know how to fight, nor could she fight. Otherwise, how could she have let Ye Wanwan take advantage of the situation?

Of course, she wasn't here at that time, but now she knows that she is the reincarnation of Xia Yunzhi. She followed her heart and chose Yu Yanjing. However, she chose not only him as a person, but also his identity. How can she make it perfect?

She loved him, but she couldn't accept him having multiple wives and concubines, nor could she accept her man being intimate with other women, even if it was just a fling.

The title of Empress is more than just two simple words. She must be tolerant, magnanimous, understanding, and forgiving to be worthy of the title.

She doesn't deserve it yet.

"I cannot be the empress."

Yu Yanjing's eyes narrowed suddenly. Sure enough, she wouldn't agree... She didn't genuinely like him. Maybe she liked the old him, or something else entirely. He didn't even know.

"Why? Tell me your reasons."

Xiao Mu frowned slightly, but said calmly, "I don't want to share my man with other women. I don't want to compete for favor because I can't beat anyone. Do you understand?"

Yu Yanjing nodded, a glimmer of hope appearing in his eyes. He said sternly, "I won't take any other women. I only want you. Do you believe me?"

Xiao Mu looked at him, her eyes like stars, a faint sadness rising in them. "Throughout history, which emperor didn't have a harem? You won't be an exception."

Yu Yanjing gripped her arm tightly and said gently, "I can, I can only have you. I won't want anyone else, never. If I wanted someone else, I would have done it long ago. Why wait until now? Shen Ruoxuan picked out so many for me, and I didn't take a single one. Don't you believe me? Although I've forgotten everything about us before, I'm trying hard to remember. Isn't that enough? Then I swear to God, if Yu Yanjing falls in love with another woman, may he be struck by lightning, suffer the torment of having his bones ripped out, and be condemned to eternal damnation. How about that?"

"I don't need you to swear. Let me think about it, okay? Let's not see each other for a while."

Yu Yanjing looked at her without saying a word. He should give her some time to think it over. This was not a trivial matter, and he was willing to wait.

Xiao Mu pursed her lips slightly. "I'm thinking of going to the Western Regions. I'll definitely give you an answer when I get back, okay?"

"Okay." Yu Yanjing replied indifferently, his confidence completely gone. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling that Xiao Mu was gone and would never come back. But he wasn't afraid. No matter where she ran away, he was confident that he could find her.

"Then you should go back first. I want to be alone for a while, is that okay?"

“Okay, you don’t have to feel guilty. If you don’t agree, we can just stay like this. I’ll never want to be an empress or a concubine. Let’s just stay like this, okay?” He said calmly, giving Xiao Mu a composed smile.

For some reason, seeing Yu Yanjing like this made her feel sorry for him. She didn't know why, but she couldn't give him an answer for the time being. She was struggling internally. She didn't want to be the empress, but only in this way could she be Yu Yanjing's only wife, his rightful wife.

She had thought that if Yu Yanjing weren't the emperor, but just an ordinary person, she wouldn't have to worry about these things at all. But there were no "ifs"—he was the emperor.

Given her unique background and previous marriage, how could they possibly agree to Yu Yanjing marrying her?

She was so frustrated; she felt more and more unworthy of Yu Yanjing.

She gazed at Yu Yanjing with a faint expression, feeling an indescribable pain in her heart. This was so unfair to him, wasn't it? Seeing how obedient he was to her, her heart ached even more. But what could she do? Their identities should never be mixed up.

Yu Yanjing left after sitting for a while. For some reason, Xiao Mu felt very depressed. It was supposed to be a happy occasion, a proposal, but she couldn't be happy because she knew she was not good enough for Yu Yanjing.

As expected, the moment Yu Yanjing revealed Xiao Mu's identity, he was met with opposition from the court officials.

Wen Yuanrui said, "Your Majesty, this is absolutely not allowed! How can the future Empress be a woman who has been married before? Moreover, it is Zhou Tingxi. Zhou Tingxi is not someone who can be easily persuaded! Your Majesty, please think it over."

"Your Majesty, please reconsider!" the courtiers echoed.

Yu Yanjing frowned and said seriously, "I am serious. The Empress can only be Xia Yunzhi. I will not accept any others."

Wen Yuanrui said, "Your Majesty, there are so many women in the court, why choose Xia, who is of low status and someone else's abandoned wife? This is against the rules!"

Yu Yanjing looked sharply at Wen Yuanrui and said in a clear voice, "Who is the abandoned woman? Wen Qing, just focus on preparing for my marriage to Xia Shi. There's no need to say anything else. Otherwise, I'll kill one of you for every one you name. Do you understand?"

"Yes!"

They dared not say anything more; their own lives were more important. Yu Yanjing was not one to make empty promises. He had already killed nine of his brothers; what else was he incapable of? They should just help him. Having an empress was better than not having one.

"Go and inform the Empress Dowager," Yu Yanjing said calmly.

She needed to know that the child she had once tricked and raised was now getting married.

The entire palace was busy with preparations for Yu Yanjing's marriage. Shen Ruoxuan was genuinely happy. He didn't care about the future empress's status; he only knew that after so long, the emperor was finally going to appoint an empress, and there would be many more concubines in the future.

Xiao Mu was already on her way to the Western Regions. The only people who could stab her were people and a rented carriage. She had already learned to drive a carriage, which she learned from Yu Yanjing and Xu on the way to buy goods.

Indeed, many of his memories are closely connected to him and inseparable.

If I never come back this time, will he come looking for me?

She didn't want anything else; she just wanted to get away from it. To put it bluntly, she was escaping because she couldn't get over it herself, and no amount of persuasion from others could change her mind.

Heading west, the land is sparsely populated and desolate. We're about to enter the desert. I heard that Zhou Tingxi is stationed here. I wonder if we'll run into him. Probably not. He's in a military camp. This is a town. It's common knowledge that the army wouldn't be stationed in a town.

The Western Regions are just one vast desert after another, with very little vegetation. So when the wind blows, sand flies everywhere, and if you accidentally get sand in your eyes, it's really uncomfortable.

There's a small town ahead, I think it's called Rainbow Town. Most of the residents here are people who fled from all over the world. Over time, it formed a free village. Slowly, as more people came, it became a small town and gradually became more orderly. The people living here are carefree and content.

Hongzhen is very large, so large that areas several miles in radius are under its jurisdiction. Because people from all over the country gather here, the people here wear different clothes, such as Chaoyang, Jiuguang, Xueyu, Xiyu, and Anning.

"Miss, buy some rouge, it's very cheap, only five coins a box." A young girl selling rouge blocked Xiao Mu's way.

She didn't need rouge for the time being, but why hadn't she found an inn after walking so many miles?

She had no choice but to spend five coins to buy a box of rouge, and casually asked, "Little sister, I'd like to ask, why is there no inn in Hongzhen?"

The little girl smiled and said, "Because very few tourists come here. Who would come here to visit? They either stay with the villagers or head straight to the Western Regions capital."

"Then, can I stay at your house? I'll pay for your room." Xiao Mu looked at the little girl with some embarrassment.

She readily agreed, "Sure, I only have two rooms, but that's okay. I can squeeze in with my three younger sisters and leave the guest room for you. Also, please don't call me 'little sister.' My name is Xiao Suzi, and I'm already eighteen years old."

It turns out she was already eighteen years old, but she was so thin and frail that she looked like she was only twelve or thirteen. No wonder Xiao Mu thought she was a child at first glance and called her little sister.

Following Xiao Suzi to her home, I learned that Xiao Suzi had three younger sisters. Her mother and father took her youngest brother to the capital and never returned. For ten years, she had been raising her three sisters, aged seven, five, and three, since she was eight years old. Their home was small but very clean and had a strong sense of home.

"This is my eldest sister, Xiao Taozi; my second sister, Xiao Hanzi; and my third sister, Xiao Qingzi." Xiao Suzi introduced her three sisters to Xiao Mu one by one. Xiao Mu's nose tingled with tears. All four of them looked malnourished, with dry, yellow hair and short stature. They must have suffered a lot.

She had no intention of going to the Western Regions capital because there were people she didn't want to see there—her uncle and maternal grandfather. Those two heartless and indifferent people never thought of taking her back. Part of the reason she didn't want to go to that place was because her mother had grown up there, and she didn't want to be reminded of those memories.

"Little Su, it must be tough for you to raise three younger sisters all by yourself. Why haven't you thought about going to the capital to find your parents?"

Xiao Su smiled bitterly, "I want to go too, but I heard that the capital is very big, and finding someone is as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack. It's better to raise my three younger sisters. Actually, I know that our parents just abandoned us."

Xiao Mu looked at Xiao Suzi, her heart filled with turmoil. She too had once been an abandoned child who met the sisters at the base. But now, she was Xia Yunzhi, a little princess who had been showered with love and affection. Unfortunately, she hadn't enjoyed a few good days before her family members were all gone.

"Then you can't keep relying on selling rouge for long."

Xiao Suzi said, "The officials stationed here in Jiuguang Kingdom occasionally come to help us poor people who are struggling to make ends meet. They give us money, which is actually quite good. The girls will grow up quickly."

Xiao Suzi was probably referring to Zhou Tingxi's subordinates. It's unexpected that they could do such a good deed. After all, Xiao Suzi and her group are still people from the Western Regions. Even her maternal grandfather didn't care about these refugees. How could Zhou Tingxi still think of them? What kind of person is he?

“If you’re willing, you can come back to Chaoyang Kingdom with me. I have a shop where you can work as an assistant. Your sisters can also learn pharmacology from my friends and have a skill.” Xiao Mu had a sudden inspiration; she was now a boss herself.

Xiao Suzi declined, saying, "Thank you for your kindness, Sister Xiao Mu. We're used to living in the Western Regions, and we definitely wouldn't like life in Chaoyang Kingdom. Besides, what if Father and Mother come back and can't find us?"

They still longed for their parents to come back, but if they wanted to come back, they would have done so long ago. It's impossible that there's been no news for ten years. Since they didn't want to go, she couldn't force them. After all, everyone has their own way of living.

……

"Why did you inform me of that bastard's marriage? I am the late Emperor's Consort Jing, not the Empress Dowager. You don't need to inform me of her affairs in the future." Consort Jing knelt before the Buddha statue, closed her eyes, and whispered to her personal maid Rumeng. She was dressed in plain clothes, untouched by dust.

Ru Meng hesitated for a moment, "Your Majesty, the Emperor has always regarded you as his mother, and you love him very much, don't you? When the Emperor was seven years old, he contracted smallpox, and you took care of him by his bedside without taking off your clothes. You even observed a seven-day vegetarian diet to pray for his well-being. Have you forgotten all of that?"

A ripple of emotion stirred within Consort Jing. Yes, she had genuinely cared for that child, but she had only done so to destroy him so that her Mo'er could become the Crown Prince.

She has now left the secular world and entered the Buddhist temple. She is atoning for her past sins. If she hadn't thought of destroying that child in the first place, perhaps Mo'er wouldn't have died. Her Mo'er, a piece of her own flesh and blood...

It was all her fault, so she wouldn't see Yu Yanjing, nor did she want to.

"So what? He's a monster. He killed Mo'er. I really regret being so good to him before." Consort Jing's eyes were full of disgust, disgust for her former self.

Actually, aside from the fact that she had been teaching Yu Yanjing badly, she truly treated Yu Yanjing like her own son. She felt heartbroken whenever he bumped or bruised. She refused to believe that she loved that child more than she loved her Mo'er.

Ru Meng said calmly, "But His Majesty has no other elders. If you don't attend his wedding, he will be very sad, won't he?"

Consort Jing was touched, but she still said coldly, "Whether he is sad or not, my Mo'er will never come back. You don't need to report his affairs in the future. We are not eating or using his food. I am Consort Jing of the late Emperor, and I naturally have my own share of the duties."

However, she lived in Ningzi Palace, which was the place where the Empress Dowager should have lived.

She enjoyed the same privileges and rewards that an empress dowager should have.

Both Yu Yanjing and she have two hurdles in their hearts that they can't overcome, but once they do, everything will be fine.

She was old and didn't want to concern herself with worldly affairs anymore. She had no particular thoughts about the Empress Dowager's passing; she only wanted to spend her later years in peace and to see her Mo'er and the late Emperor as soon as possible. That was enough for her.

Ten years after giving birth to Mo'er, she never conceived again. In the second year of raising Yu Yanjing, she became pregnant. She was overjoyed, but she did not tell the emperor. Only she and Rumeng knew. However, one time, when she went back to the imperial kitchen to get a handkerchief to make Yu Yanjing's favorite pastry, she tripped and fell. She did not pay attention to it, and her stomach only hurt slightly.

But at night her lower abdomen hardened and tightened, as if she was about to give birth, and she also started bleeding. She called the imperial physician, who said that the baby could not be saved. If she had received treatment to save the pregnancy at that time, it might have been effective, but she did not go to see the imperial physician in order to pick up Yu Yanjing from school as soon as possible.

She would never have children again, so she gave all her love to Yu Yanjing, sometimes treating him even better than she treated Yu Yanmo, to the point that she herself found it unbelievable.

She didn't want to recall these painful memories at all; she just wanted to grow old and die peacefully. But why couldn't she forget them? She really loved Yu Yanjing when he was little—cute and well-behaved. How could she have turned him into this? She was the one who turned such a good child into this.

But I don't care at all anymore. As long as we don't owe each other anything and don't bother each other, everything is fine.