Colorful years

After typing the last word on his phone's keypad and pressing the send button to send the two long messages to Xiao Hong, Zhang Chao glanced at the time. It was exactly 5 a.m., and the sky outside the window was beginning to lighten with the first hint of dawn.

The entire process of editing the message immersed Zhang Chao in deep thought. By the time he finally finished and sent out the text, his drowsiness had vanished without a trace.

It was still dark in the room, and I was wide awake; getting up now was a bit too early. The darkness before dawn is the hardest to bear.

After tossing and turning in bed for over an hour, Zhang Chao decided not to waste any more time. He got up, went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and combed his hair, making sure he was clean and tidy. Then, he changed into a well-fitting suit and prepared to leave for work.

At this moment, Zhang Chao was filled with anticipation and unease. He desperately wanted to know how Xiao Hong would feel and react after seeing those messages. As the deputy director of the city's culture bureau, he was usually decisive and efficient in handling official business, but he was exceptionally cautious when it came to matters of the heart.

Xiao Hong was grading student assignments in the teachers' dormitory. Her phone vibrated just as she finished grading the last essay. Seeing the long message from Zhang Chao, her finger hovered above the screen, hesitant to open it.

"What is he going to say now?" Xiao Hong bit her lower lip, her brows furrowed. Ever since her chance encounter with Zhang Chao after the parent-teacher conference and their renewed contact, her heart had been in suspense. As a Chinese language teacher at a top-tier middle school, she should have been focused on the upcoming midterm exams, but Zhang Chao's appearance had disrupted all her plans.

The cultural performance plan for the opening ceremony of the National Games for Ethnic Minorities was finally approved by the organizing committee. The performance was limited to around 500 people and the expenditure was controlled at 80 yuan.

With the plan finalized, the opening ceremony proceeded with rehearsals in stages according to the established workflow. Aside from occasionally checking on the rehearsals to see how they went and how progress was being made, Zhang Chao didn't have much else to do.

It was not yet time for work today, and the municipal government building was unusually quiet.

Zhang Chao walked into the office where he had worked for ten years. Everything felt so familiar, yet so old.

He lay back in his office chair, sipping tea and flipping through the newspaper, silently waiting for Xiao Hong's reply.

He told himself to be patient, believing that Xiao Hong would eventually give him a response. Time ticked by, each moment feeling incredibly long…

Xiao Hong put her phone on the table and paced back and forth in her cramped dormitory room. She picked up her lesson plan and put it down again, opened her textbook and closed it again. Zhang Chao's message weighed on her heart like a stone.

"What should I do?" she murmured to herself. "I'm forty years old, and I'm still struggling with relationships like a high school student." In the mirror, she saw fine lines at the corners of her eyes, the marks left by years of staying up late to prepare lessons.

As the clock struck nine, Xiao Hong finally mustered the courage to open the message. After reading it, her face instantly turned pale. Zhang Chao mentioned Principal Li from her school, implying that the latter might be his "enemy."

“How could he do this?” Xiao Hong’s fingers trembled slightly. “Principal Li is my superior and my mentor…” She thought of Principal Li’s guidance and support over the years, and her eyes welled up with tears.

Zhang Chao waited in vain for a reply, and his anxiety grew. He couldn't help but send another message: "Originally, I meticulously planned a report for your Principal Li that would promote the school's unique characteristics. If published, it would greatly benefit the school's reputation. But I couldn't determine whether he was my friend or foe, so I hesitated to write it. Now I understand—he might be my enemy."

Xiao Hong was in the classroom preparing to teach when she saw the message. She suppressed her anger, silenced her phone, and stuffed it into her drawer. She was distracted throughout the morning's classes, and even her best student made frequent mistakes when answering questions.

During the lunch break, Xiao Hong finally replied: "Thank you for your kindness! I hope you won't judge me by my own standards. Wishing you happiness! Take care!"

After sending the message, Xiao Hong immediately regretted it. She slumped onto her desk, tears soaking her lesson plan book. "That's not what I meant..." she thought regretfully.

Zhang Chao quickly replied: "In matters of the heart, it's hard to distinguish between a gentleman and a villain. When love runs deep, even a gentleman can become narrow-minded. Therefore, I hope you won't accuse me of being a villain, otherwise I would be very disappointed."

Xiao Hong stared at her phone screen, tears blurring her vision. She recalled her first love with Zhang Chao ten years ago, and the pain of being forced to separate due to family opposition. Now they were both middle-aged, yet still struggling with the same problem.

“If you see everyone as a rival in love, you’re making a huge mistake,” Xiao Hong typed, her fingers trembling. “I’m a person of principle; I would never do anything that violates professional ethics!”

Zhang Chao replied instantly: "The others are nothing to fear. I only consider Principal Li a rival in love. If I'm wrong, I will certainly apologize profusely and respect you even more! I will always love you unconditionally!"

Xiao Hong felt as if her heart was being torn apart. On one hand, she felt warmed by Zhang Chao's persistence; on the other hand, his misunderstanding of Principal Li caused her immense pain.

“I accept your opinion,” she finally replied. “Therefore, I will strengthen my studies and continuously improve and perfect myself.” This was a statement she made to Zhang Chao, but also to herself.

Zhang Chao seemed to sense her softening and continued candidly, "Recently, I've been preparing for my writing, playing two roles simultaneously: one is myself in real life, and the other is the male protagonist in my novel. They're intertwined, and sometimes I don't even recognize myself."

Xiao Hong shook her head with a wry smile: "Your switching between roles inside and outside the book is something I can't figure out. I hate that kind of suspicion, doubt, and testing."

"Please understand, a novel needs multiple conflicts to be exciting," Zhang Chao explained.

“You’ve made me completely blind,” Xiao Hong replied. “I thought you’d lost your mind. I hope you recover soon, otherwise, you’ll drive me insane.”

After sending the message, Xiao Hong turned off her phone and let out a long sigh. The May sunlight streamed through the window onto her desk, illuminating the student essays she was grading.

Principal Li was away on a business trip, leaving only Xiao Hong and Academic Affairs Director Lao Chen at the school. That evening, Lao Chen went to a teacher training session, leaving Xiao Hong alone in the entire teachers' dormitory building.

Suddenly, Xiao Hong felt empty inside, extremely lonely and melancholy.

Just in time for the May Day Golden Week, a seven-day holiday, Xiao Hong originally planned to go back to her hometown to visit her parents, but the school temporarily arranged for her to be on duty to supervise the study of several students staying on campus.

If nothing unexpected happens, Xiao Hong and Zhang Chao can take a walk together every evening, chat about literature and education, and enjoy the warmth and tacit understanding of their midlife reunion.

Now, she's left with no choice but to distance herself from this hard-won relationship and live a life of loneliness. Thinking about this, she regretted saying those harsh words to Zhang Chao.

That night, Zhang Chao was alone in his room. Fortunately, he was used to solitude and could endure the loneliness. But tonight, he especially missed Xiao Hong's gentle yet stubborn voice.