Mission in another world with my transformed best friend

Seeing Zhang Lan's hesitant expression, Wang Kai gently tapped the iron rod against the floor...

"Stop making things up, keep going!"

"Yes, yes... I was just guessing that Hani might have reached some kind of agreement with the landlord in order to maintain the mysterious image of the 'reclusive saint,' such as 'as long as it's positive publicity, we can use the traffic.' So the old house that was supposed to be demolished was preserved perfectly and became a 'celebrity residence' that charges admission based on gimmicks."

"The money-making methods these capital-driven 'celebrity effect' schemes use are exactly the same as in the original world. This explanation makes sense up to this point, but we still don't have a single clue about the most crucial 'four words'..."

Under Wang Kai's "urging gaze," Zhang Lan knew that if she made up something, the chance of being exposed would be almost 100%, so she could only keep her composure, feeling as awkward as if she were recalling some embarrassing dark history and even having to say it out loud.

"You know, who would complain about earning too much money?"

How long can the traffic from the 'former residence' sustain us? After seeing the daily decline in visitor revenue, the landlord shamelessly approached Hani to complain, and Hani had no choice but to come to me to find a solution.

But what could I do? The fat landlord suddenly slapped his forehead and said there was definitely a way: to increase the 'former residence's' traffic, just devise a script about the "saintess returning home in glory." What could I say to that?

I still remember that day; it was a cacophony of gongs and drums, firecrackers, red flags waving, and a sea of ​​people…

"I didn't squeeze you under the table, did I? There should still be a stack of books in the village toilet... Wait, wait, how did I get back to this? Stop talking about skits and get down to business."

Faced with Wang Kai's comment about "overbearing comedic timing," Zhang Lan stuck out her tongue guiltily...

"Alright, alright, after I arrived there under the title of 'Saintess,' I revisited my old bedroom. Everything was still so messy. The drafts and props I hadn't taken were still there, along with the clothes I hadn't had time to pack, and a lot of all sorts of trash that I had carelessly tossed aside before, all still in their original places... Suddenly, I felt the same awkwardness as when I'd been holed up in my bedroom for months and then my parents, along with a bunch of blind dates, burst through the door, and we just stared at each other in disbelief..."

"Mmm, the imagery is so vivid, I can't even imagine it, continue..."

Zhang Lan gripped the hem of her evening gown tightly with her small hands, bit her crimson lips, lowered her head, and said.

"So, in this extremely awkward situation, I had to force a smile and explain the origin of these trash items to the person following me. My mind went blank. That's probably where the 'what's the point of trying to sabotage things' comes from."

Zhang Lan trembled slightly at this moment, perhaps because the embarrassment of the unbearable memories had reached its peak.

"Next, I felt like I had lost my mind. Anyway, whatever the 'Saintess of the World' said was praised and lauded, and I wasn't afraid to say dirty words like 'Fuck You'."

So they called those scraps of paper with Chinese writing "imperial edicts," the worn-out benches and broken props "sacred relics," and those leaky rooms, amidst a bunch of rambling that I can't even remember, were described as "holy lands"...

In reality, everyone knows that these are all insignificant things, but as long as they are associated with the 'Hermitage of the World,' they will become priceless 'legendary relics'..."

Hearing this, Wang Kai's eyes showed a hint of sympathy, and he nodded as if he felt the same way.

"If you ask who in this world understands your feelings at that time best, besides me, there's probably no one else..."

"Yes, my only confidant, Comrade Er Gou... no, Brother Kyle... please gently put down that iron rod in your hand, okay? Isn't it hard to pick it up?"

“That was indeed a lot of work. Now, let’s talk about how you ‘named’ my room.”

"Before naming your room, I was slightly comforted by the 'horrific scene' inside. The horrific scene was similar to what would happen if a dozen dogs were locked up. Of course, I didn't know why, but I could only guess that you might have owned dogs. The thought of 'dogs' and the influence of... Alice's 'notebook' made me impulsively write those 'four words' on the door..."

All that's been said is that when someone is in an extremely awkward and depressed mood, they can't control their thoughts and their hands are shaking, so they just vent their frustration... In other words, it's like a drowning person desperately trying to grab onto someone else to "die with them"—it's an action that can't be controlled by reason.

Having understood everything, Wang Kai sighed slightly, frowned, and thought for a moment before speaking.

"I was just caught in the crossfire of your embarrassment and frustration, you could say I was an innocent bystander, right..."

"Yes, yes, it was really an accident, just an accident! You know they don't recognize Chinese characters, right? It's like someone from West Asia writing some Arabic script for you; even if they teach you how to pronounce it, you still won't understand what it means, right? Or it's like you're traveling in Africa, and a tribal chief gives you the title 'Guguk,' you wouldn't know what 'Guguk' means, right..."

"That's true. In this world, being labeled a 'simp' is no different from being a 'googgle.' Kyle is the ultimate simp anyway, but being caught in the middle is really unpleasant. Oh well, this won't happen again. Goodnight..."

Wang Kai stood up, put away the iron rod, and slowly walked towards the door. Zhang Lan also felt that the anger in the air had almost disappeared. With a relaxed mindset, she seemed to have forgotten that the danger was only "temporarily avoided." She stood up and pretended to "see him off," and didn't forget to add a sentence.

“Okay, goodnight… I forgot to tell you, afterwards the landlord was overjoyed to see me off, and before I left he even said to me: ‘When the simp returns, remember to come and name each item in his room.’… I’ve also thought of some names for you, like the clothes are called ‘Simp Set,’ the wooden bed is called ‘Simp Bed,’ and the stool is called ‘Simp Climbing High’…”

Before she could finish her polite words, which were made in a moment of complacency after letting her guard down, another surge of anger spread, and Zhang Lan's smile of farewell froze. In that instant, she finally understood what it meant to say, "A thousand cups of wine are not enough when drinking with a bosom friend, but even half a sentence is too much when talking to someone you don't get along with."

Even close friends can turn against each other, let alone a best friend who was just extremely depressed...

Wang Kai stopped in his tracks, abruptly turning his head. His bloodshot pupils revealed a terrifying, hellhound-like gaze, and the air he exhaled from his nostrils resembled liquefied gas ready to explode at any moment. The entire room was instantly filled with an atmosphere of danger…

"You kept whining like a simp, and I had to suppress all my frustration and urge to find you to force myself to 'copy' those four characters you wrote just to get away... Judging from your smug look, your remorse just now must have been an act. Well, I won't pretend anymore. To tell you the truth, a simp may be a simp, but once a simp gets angry, he turns into a biting 'wolfhound'!"

"Gulu~"

Zhang Lan swallowed hard, her hair standing on end. She knew this was a woman's instinctive sense of danger. As she slowly backed away, she tried to salvage the situation.

"Don't get excited. I just said a few random things. Don't scare me, okay? Okay, okay, I apologize on Alice's behalf. I know I was wrong. I won't say the word 'simp' again... Oh no, I said it again."

"Since you've admitted your mistake, as a reasonable adult, it's alright for you to pay a price for your mistakes..."

After saying that, Wang Kai turned around, opened his arms, and walked step by step towards Zhang Lan. Faced with such a situation, how could she cope? She quickly retreated to the bedside, accidentally bent her leg, and just as she fell onto the bed, a heavy object pounced on her like a hunting wolfhound...