I am not Ximen Qing.

Chapter 123 Empty Love

My fellow villager, a literary youth, is already married and has a son. If the man and woman were to be completely honest with each other, their marriage would almost certainly fall apart.

Living together as a couple is the best way to survive. In modern society, the meaning of marriage and the way of marriage remain the best choices for thousands of years. Don't go against Confucius's wisdom; marriage is the core of family. Women are realistic and will make rational decisions at a certain age. Love and affection are one thing, feelings are another. Song Yu was afraid of marriage and didn't believe in it. After each breakup, Da Bao would comfort him on WeChat, a way to release and vent her emotions.

People no longer read classic masterpieces like "Resurrection," "Les Misérables," and "Crime and Punishment" because times have changed, and some things are no longer compatible with modern social concepts. Maslova Katyusha's fall was due to Nekhlyudov's impulsive and selfish pursuit of love and romance without considering the negative impact on Maslova's future, as well as the social environment and various factors that led to Maslova's tragedy.

The male protagonist wanted to sacrifice himself like Jesus to redeem Katyusha's fallen soul and go on a penance in Siberia together. Simone became Katyusha's lover. Platonic spiritual love became the final outcome for Nekhlyudov and Katyusha. Could Da Bao'er and Song Yu be considered spiritual lovers? Perhaps not at all. It seems that he and she had a kinship that was destined but not meant to be. After Da Bao'er gave birth to her son, perhaps the radiance of maternal love illuminated the sanctity of humanity, and everything ended. Da Bao'er found her Simone. In fact, this is the nature of women, and they returned to the tradition of matriarchal society.

Gu Feng and Lennon still live with Song Yu. They've moved once already because Gu Feng wanted to forget his ex-girlfriend Traces. Lennon sheds a lot, and under Gu Feng's strict discipline with his feather duster, he's at least much more well-behaved than Shakespeare's dog. At least he's learned to use the toilet in the bathroom. In the city, pets must learn to use the toilet for both bowel movements and urination. Gu Feng is very attentive to Lennon, bathing him, giving him a haircut, and feeding him every month. Lennon costs Gu Feng at least 2000 yuan a month, almost enough to cover a month's mortgage. Fortunately, Gu Feng's salary isn't low; after graduating from a science and engineering university in Beijing, he's worked as a programmer, which is considered top-tier in Beijing. He doesn't have to worry about survival anymore. His love affair with the female graduate student and its consequences were a devastating blow to Gu Feng.

The real-life embodiment of insult and being insulted exists! She, a graduate student, was already intimately familiar with Gu Feng, but she underestimated the traditional values of men from Guangxi. He withstood the storm with unwavering resolve. Why did his girlfriend leave Gu Feng? Because he upheld his bottom line as a man, and that was the right thing to do. At least he could wait until the moment he found the balance point in his life, from darkness to light. Now, the existence of insult and being insulted is no longer with Gu Feng. He's back where he came from and back again. His girlfriend returned to China and came to his new place to see him again. It's less about seeing him and more about witnessing his love affair with that beast Lennon. His graduate student girlfriend is quite cultured; she didn't leave behind a child or anything, but instead gave Gu Feng a dog. Of course, the excuse for meeting was also to see the hunter. If Gu Feng's character couldn't even tolerate this dog, she wouldn't have come at all. Look at her logical thinking—rigorous, without a single loophole or flaw.

In reality, she suffered greatly in Denmark. The situation there was difficult for Gu Feng to describe; her ex-girlfriend's family had a history of mental illness, and her sister committed suicide after going abroad. She personally told Gu Feng this tragic news when she visited him. Of course, when she talked to Gu Feng about these things, she was noticeably thinner. Her search for love abroad hadn't brought her happiness. Her skin had changed drastically compared to its previous smoothness. Her skin had somewhat adapted to the local environment; upon closer inspection, the skin of Caucasian women is noticeably rougher than that of East Asian women, but she was a purely Asian woman. It seems that different environments can have different appearances, and a particular environment can change the appearance of a woman. She was thin, slender, and had a yellowish complexion, perhaps because an East Asian woman wasn't used to the diet in Northern Europe.

Her hopes were dashed. So many men in her company were pursuing her in China; almost none of her male colleagues understood how the unassuming Gu Feng could win over this demanding and critical company goddess. Gu Feng was the reserved type, and don't underestimate him just because he wasn't physically imposing. He was excellent in bed, a top-notch programmer, earned a high income, had a good temper, and was always willing to spend money on her. Why wouldn't she choose him? Mainly, the company's bigwig, Wei Hua, had a very high opinion of Gu Feng, calling him an "excellent talent." The reason for Gu Feng's dejection—why did she abandon him and run off to Denmark to suffer for her ex-boyfriend? Thinking about it, this wasn't about feelings at all; it was purely about seeking love and the thrill and passion of romance.

This was absolutely a rare and wonderful cross-cultural love experience, a kind of madness born of rationality. If she could relive this love, the female graduate student would definitely cherish it now and wouldn't go back to Denmark to suffer. A broken border can never be mended; the life experiences and backgrounds at home and abroad are different, and an irreconcilable cultural and intellectual divide has long since formed. This proves that the love of the past is no longer love in the present; it's all for nothing. For the female graduate student, it's an empty love, a complete loss. She suddenly lost the love of two men. All of them have become past loves; the loss is too great. For her, losing the love of two men at once...

The love with sentimentality, the love in reality, all disappeared. All that remained was to hope for love in the future. This was an outcome neither of them had anticipated. He found in her despondency some loss of self-respect. Think about it: abandoning him to pursue her ex-boyfriend, whom she hadn't seen for years, now living in Denmark—how devastating must that be for a man, deep down, in the face of love? Before returning to Denmark, she bought Lennon a bunch of dog food as a parting gift. The dog was hers, but now it had become a symbol of traditional Chinese values—how bizarre, such a dramatic and passionate love story ending.

The first time I met Xiao Tong was at a coffee shop near his company. Tong Wen, a college graduate with a passion for artistic creation, dreamed of becoming a playwright, director, poet, and writer. In the coffee shop, Xiao Tong was discussing scriptwriting with Song Yu, chain-smoking. The air was thick with smoke. Although smoking was prohibited, many coffee lovers enjoyed sipping their coffee while smoking and contemplating their ideas. Song Yu drank at least several bottles of Nescafé every day to keep himself alert. Drinking coffee has its benefits, but one shouldn't be like Balzac, drinking countless cups of black coffee daily for writing. The "explosive" in coffee has side effects, and overworking the brain can lead to the deterioration of other organs and tissues.

Song Yu often questioned whether drinking coffee could prevent brain aging, but excessive coffee consumption still had its downsides. Song Yu's company was creating short films, and naturally, Xiao Tong was his first thought. Like attracts like, and Song Yu, a film enthusiast, attracted a large group of artistic young people to his side. When Zhang Sheng was bored, he would call Song Yu, complaining about his declining business. This made Zhang Sheng somewhat disheartened. Having opened several shops, he wanted to find a new starting point, to switch industries, to jump from one to another. He found it incredibly difficult. The most painful part each month was the huge salary expenditure with meager profits. Old customers were also leaving. Times were changing, and those who couldn't keep up would inevitably be eliminated. A completely new business landscape emerged, and before he could even understand some new things, new things appeared. Most businesses were at the downstream end of the ecosystem. Distribution channels had shifted from general agents to larger e-commerce groups, and he found that general agents couldn't compete with the prices of large e-commerce platforms. How could they compete? The business world required volume. Those who control volume control the market, even paying higher prices than customers to purchase goods themselves, and offering better service. In the electronics industry, traditional large retailers are facing a new reshuffle. It's not about ability or effort; the era of brute force is over, the era of the internet determining everything has arrived. Reality is harsh, and there's no escaping it. Rent and wages make Zhang Sheng feel like he's sitting on pins and needles every day.

"You, I'm surprised. You're completely disoriented. Just think about it, it's a miracle that you can survive in Beijing. Wonder."

Song Yu was smoking Zhongnanhai cigarettes, a pack of Zhonghua cigarettes sitting in the middle of the table. Xiao Tong wore glasses, had slightly dark skin, and still exuded the youthful naiveté of someone fresh out of school.

"This is my buddy. He's from the village."

"Get kicked?"

"Don't listen to his nonsense. When will you be able to say something serious?"

"smokes?"

Tong Wen handed Zhang Sheng, who looked travel-worn, a Zhonghua cigarette. "Pretty respectable, classy enough," he thought to himself.

"Hello, Mr. Writer"

Zhang Sheng's exaggerated language was a habit he developed in the retail world—a habit of flattering customers with sweet words. Even though some customers knew it was just flattery to get them to buy, it was still pleasing to the ear, and everyone likes that. Human nature is such that if he could act like a pouting lord, he wouldn't be able to do business. He was all smiles, humble, and eloquent. Actually, it was quite despicable, a complete lack of shamelessness and personal dignity. He was so numb to it that he didn't even realize it himself, just a smiling, servile face.

"I think……"

"What are you thinking about?"

"I was speechless and felt ashamed. Xiao Tong, please don't mind him. That's just how he is. He doesn't even take a break during the New Year. His greatest strength is his diligence."

"I admire writers,"

"Don't mention it, I just enjoy writing. A few scripts,"

Really? Let me see.

"Xiao Tong, he can't understand it at all,"

"I also want to write screenplays."

"Dude, are you crazy? Looks like you're going astray. We're here to sell you goods and do business with you properly; this really isn't your territory."

Think back to the first time I met Tong Wen; he was so simple and honest, talking about his life ideals. He once mentioned creating a story about Chinese escorts, but I don't know what Tong Wen usually likes, or why he came up with the idea of creating something on this topic—it's not very mainstream. He also talked about all sorts of information and strange, wonderful love journeys.

"Don't write about this anymore, let him write it."

"You have insulted my character,"

"You still have the nerve to talk about personality? Your biggest motivation is actually just endless love."

Song Yu would bring up this topic every time.

"Don't listen to his nonsense, I'm not like that,"

"What kind of... tell me..."

"I'm not talking to you anymore, sir writer. Let's be friends."

"Of course, but I'm not a writer, it's just a hobby. After finishing the business plan for the company, I have a lot of time, so I've kept at it."

Zhang Sheng looked at the stack of printed manuscripts on the table. "Tong Wen, this is your work, this is your masterpiece."

"Hahaha...that's hilarious!"

Song Yu couldn't hold it in and burst into laughter.

"Bro, my buddy could actually be a clown,"

"Who's the clown? I'm not going to be the clown!"

"The clown, the penguin, Mr. Bean, if you could become the clown, you'd be awesome, the really awesome guy!"

"Great writer, I'd like to have the pleasure of reading your masterpiece."

"Thank you."

Of course, young people with dreams love it most when others appreciate their work.

"You're a poet, you write so well."

"Here we go again. Can you understand it?" Zhang Sheng recalled that his classmate Wang Cheng and the female poet often published poems in the school magazine, and their styles were quite similar to those of the writer Xiao Tongwen.

"I'm going to read it aloud now," Zhang Sheng declared in the coffee shop. Ignoring everyone else, he loudly recited Tong Wen's poem, attracting the attention of the men and women sipping coffee around him.

"Tong Wen, it seems we have to stop here for today. You have a fan."

"It's okay, the recitation was quite pleasant to listen to. I can't achieve that effect myself."

Besides envy, Zhang Sheng also thought that if he could write such moving and beautiful poems, his life would not have been in vain. His admiration, excitement, and respect came from the bottom of his heart.

"Leave me a phone number."

Why would you leave your phone number?

"Learn to write poetry."

"Alright, if you need to find Tong Wen in the future, just call me first."

Writer Tong wanted to exchange numbers, but Song Yu's idea was also valid—don't let this crazy lunatic harass his friend all day long. Let him harass Song Yu; they've been buddies for six or seven years. He understands Zhang Sheng, but Writer Tong might not. Ah, to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, it was a well-intentioned gesture. Plus, when he drinks, he barks like a mad dog everywhere, and he's always looking for love and romance. Preventing unnecessary misunderstandings was a way of protecting their brotherhood. Song Yu and Writer Tong had only recently met, and this meeting with Tong Wen made Zhang Sheng especially excited; finally, he'd met a writer who could write poetry.

"Dude, I've embarrassed myself again."

Well, Song Yu gripped the steering wheel, driving his Tiger, a car Jiang Tao had sponsored for 10 yuan to buy for his goddess's internet company business. Song Yu loved cars; he used to rent them, but now he'd had this Tiger for several years. This Tiger was going to be Song Yu's tool for picking up girls. He'd taken Zhu Zhu, Jing Jing, and even flight attendants out late at night to play games of love and romance. Men who like cars often have an ulterior motive: if a girl is willing to get in your car, you've basically got her.

Why aren't you saying a word?

"What a headache, bro,"

"Damn it, you're always partying and singing, what worries do you have? A person who's full doesn't need to worry about the rest of the family."

"My mom's coming, she's coming!"

"How about this? You can eat the seafood that Auntie prepared for you again."

"That's not the reason. Look at Lennon's hairy hair."

"I just remembered. Auntie's been bothered by dog hair lately, no, buddy, that's just an excuse,"

"You noticed that?"

"Of course, it's because bringing girls is an eyesore."

Only you truly understand me.

"Don't give me that. You've been celibate for almost a year now, haven't you?"

"That's right,"

"I can't hold it in anymore. You'll find out who I've got my eye on soon enough."

"In the company"

"But she has some quirks too. She keeps both cats and dogs,"

"Even more impressive than traditional Chinese style,"

"That's right,"

"Then tell him and Gu Feng. The world, after a long period of unity, tends to divide, and after a long period of division, tends to unite. You and Gu Feng aren't the three sworn brothers of the Peach Garden Oath. Even if you were, you'd still have to live your own lives. Working together is fine, but it's a bit inconvenient for two men to live together; you're not exactly best buddies."

"Stop kidding, I'm just thinking about what to do."

"What are you hesitating for? Just say it. Gu Feng might be thinking of moving anyway,"

"When did you meet this writer, Tong?"

"I met them because I needed to, buddy. My recent passion for music was also for a company program. I've visited a lot of second-rate singers,"

"What does 'third-rate singer' mean?"

"A singer who just wants to be famous and even performs in bars."

"I was really surprised when Bob Dylan was still unknown,"

Do you even know Bob Dylan?

“The successor of Homer in blues folk music.”

"Stop!" Zhang Sheng stopped the car in a panic, panting heavily. "What are you doing? Stop?"

Have you ever heard Bob Dylan's songs?

"No,"