I am not Ximen Qing.
Chapter 12 Love
Guo Baoshan suddenly realized he'd forgotten her; now he was penniless. He blushed, and so did the woman. Their thoughts differed: one, obsessed with saving face, was practically dying inside, yet he was still thinking about his wages; Pearl, on the other hand, was all smiles, though they didn't know what she was thinking. Baoshan simply couldn't understand—Pearl had come to his door, how could he be so stubborn? Perhaps that was part of Guo Baoshan's charm. The baby, Jinyu, was crying. This little girl knew how to seize opportunities; she wanted to help this couple find happiness. She wanted to find a husband for her mother; she was luckier than David Copperfield. Boss Guo was a man of principle and wouldn't abandon them. Whether it was Pearl's abundant milk supply or the plentiful chicken, duck, and fish provided by Guo Baoshan, Jinyu was the first to benefit. The child's fuss broke the awkward silence between them. "Mommy!" Pearl, overcome with maternal instinct, unbuttoned her clothes, revealing two full, milk-rich breasts—two mounds of plump, white flesh. Guo Baoshan, no longer embarrassed, wanted to look to his heart's content; he had never seen such full, beautiful breasts. The little girl, having nursed her fill, soon fell asleep again. Unintentional innocence is no crime; Pearl, loving her child dearly, was simply fulfilling her duty as a woman, unaware that this had stirred Guo Baoshan's romantic desires. He knew what love was, and he knew the woman's robust physique. The ancient idea of many children bringing many blessings echoed in his mind—how wonderful it would be to have seven or eight children with this woman! He continued to feign illness, afraid that the woman would leave once she knew he had the strength. In that particular era, in that special period, things were bound to happen. The woman was worried, so she didn't leave that night; in truth, even if she did, she had nowhere to go.
Beauty and ugliness, in the primordial chaos of the universe, created celestial bodies, black holes, and galaxies. A man gazes at the stars in the night sky, so beautiful. Beautiful girls are like twinkling stars, yet remain unattainable due to the vast distance. He fantasizes flying to the moon to find the goddess beneath the cassia tree, longing to pluck a star and embrace it, dreaming of romantic love. The stars are the goddess's eyes, the moon her body. He imagines countless eyes in the night sky, dazzling him. The moon goddess's beautiful gaze can perform magic, like Mozart's Star Sonata. He hears the song of the jade pendant's heart, imagining the girl in his heart as the stars and the moon. Si Rui is a born poet and painter, able to hear the serenade of love even in silence. When does romance begin? He doesn't know. It begins as a vague image, gradually evolving from points to lines to surfaces, finally becoming clear. The beginning of love is as lonely as Adam, needing an existence whose reason is unclear. The Eve before him, a temptation without desire, seeing him is like a rose blooming in the sunlight. The river roars and surges, he is affectionate, she is righteous, yet they lack a matchmaker to sew their love together. You see my back, I see yours, and even ugliness becomes beauty. The patches on our clothes, in the eyes of lovers, are blooming lilies; the sweat under the sun, are dewdrops on flowers in the morning light. Both are concerned with saving face, both are embarrassed, both fearing it's just unrequited love, awkward misunderstandings. The distance between them is as thin as a window paper, yet they are like the stars Vega and Altair in the night sky. The Magpie Bridge, symbolizing love, seems to be testing their sincerity. Love, like a river flowing eastward, carries fallen petals to distant horizons—so rare yet so unattainable. Fate truly torments them; in the cycle of spring, summer, autumn, and winter, only on sunny days can they be together, looking left and right.
How beautiful the washerwoman was, so graceful and charming. She knew the amorous young man's eyes were full of longing, yet she lacked the courage to speak her heart and express her yearning. It seemed they were destined to meet but not to be together. The jade-wearing girl vigorously rubbed the clothes in her hands, her mind elsewhere. What was she thinking? Perhaps she was dreaming of Du Liniang, not by the plum blossoms, but by the willows, actually on the banks of the Yalu River, where the river gradually carried the wooden basin away into the distance.
With a splash, Zhang Sirui jumped into the river, Huang Yupei staring blankly at his impulsive act. The River God, unable to bear it any longer, orchestrated an accident to help them reunite. Zhang Sirui, brimming with energy, used all his strength to chase the wooden basin floating in the river. Those who didn't understand might have thought he was suicidal, but little did they know that in his eyes, it was a beautiful world filled with blooming azaleas. He had waited too long, searched too long; he couldn't bear to watch the most beautiful world disappear. Did he have a choice? No. Everything about her was beautiful; her simplicity was her proud elegance.
After years of suppressed emotions, he was suddenly released. He wanted to hold on to this bond tightly. He was grateful for the river's mischief. He hugged the wooden basin as if he were embracing her graceful body. Men, women, and children all found it laughable. This fool almost drowned himself, just to retrieve a wooden basin. It was a pity that his clothes were soaked through. Love was more precious than life, let alone a set of clothes. In the face of love, everything could be thrown away. He was so excited that he trembled all over.
"The water's too cold, take off your clothes! Wait here, don't move, we'll be right back," he said tenderly, watching her as she took small, quick steps.
He couldn't understand why she left without even saying thank you. Her face flushed red and then turned pale. Had he been too impulsive and scared her?
"Sure, you're faster than me, it's yours now," the young boatman jeered.
"We can't just let a basin of clothes be washed away by the river."
"Alright, do you think I'm blind? I've been peeping at her for four years now. But you're risking your life, I admire you. She must be a good girl."
"How come I've never seen you before?"
"It's too late to let you see it now."
"Why are you so late?"
"Of course it's late. Look, the girl has brought you your clothes. You're really something." The fisherman rowed away.
"Good girl, good girl, it's a pity you don't belong to me, good girl, good girl, we will never meet again." A poignant and moving song.
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