Daily life of farming and supporting a family on the ancient Loess Plateau

Ji Yongling lowered her head, continued writing a few more strokes on the paper, then raised her head again and asked, "Lin Shengwen, in what capacity do you want me to go to the capital? Or in what capacity do you want me to go to the capital? Friend, maid, or your concubine?"

"What? You, you, you, why would you ask such a question?" Lin Shengwen stammered, his face instantly turning red, unsure how to answer. Ji Yongling's question was direct and sharp, like a sharp knife piercing straight into his heart, leaving him blushing and at a loss for words.

This problem was completely beyond his preparation; he hadn't even considered it!

In his view, this question was completely unnecessary to consider! In the capital, what kind of girl couldn't a young master of his status and position have? If they fell in love with a peasant girl, it should be an honor for the girl and her family. After all, it could help her family improve their social standing.

However, he knew that Ji Yongling was different and he couldn't underestimate her. But he genuinely liked Ji Yongling, and as for their relationship... he hadn't really thought about it. He probably... couldn't... marry Ji Yongling, right? His mother and grandmother would definitely not agree.

But... if he doesn't marry Ji Yongling, given her strong-willed nature, she definitely won't go back to the manor with him...

Lin Shengwen's face turned from red to white, and fine beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. He was more flustered than ever before, stammering, "I...I don't want to see you suffer like this...I just feel that you deserve a better life. Come with me to the capital first...As for your status...what kind of status do you want?"

Ji Yongling's eyes remained calm, but a faint hint of sarcasm played at the corners of her lips. She shook her head slightly, her tone tinged with disdain, and said, "Lin Shengwen, you haven't even thought things through yourself, yet you're trying to persuade me to go to the capital? Do you think it's up to you to decide what kind of life I should live?"

Lin Shengwen was speechless and flustered. He suddenly realized that his so-called "for her own good" might just be wishful thinking on his part. He had never truly considered things from Ji Yongling's perspective, nor had he ever asked her what she truly wanted.

Seeing that he didn't speak, Ji Yongling lowered her head and continued to write and draw on the paper. The tip of her pen glided across the paper, making a soft rustling sound, as if silently proclaiming her independence and determination.

After a moment, Ji Yongling raised her head again, her gaze calm and profound, and said, "Lin Shengwen, as a friend, if you want what's best for me, please respect me and don't trample on my dignity! If you can't even show basic respect, then we don't need to be friends anymore."

"No, no, no, I didn't disrespect you!" Lin Shengwen quickly explained.

Ji Yongling sighed. The definition of respect differs with the times.

She looked towards the distant ditch and smiled slightly, saying, "I don't need anyone to arrange my future. I will never depend on anyone for my life, especially not a man! I have my own hands and feet, and I have my own path to walk. My roots are planted in this yellow earth, and my heart is above the blue sky and white clouds of the Northwest. I love the spring, summer, autumn, and winter of the yellow earth, the changing of the seasons."

My greatest wish in life is that, in my twilight years, I can stand on the banks of a loess gully at dusk, watching the leaves fall. I hope that then, looking back on my life, I can say that I have no regrets about having lived this life, no regrets about this land beneath my feet!

Lin Shengwen stood there, feeling sad and heartbroken. He suddenly realized that the distance between him and Ji Yongling was very, very far, so far that he had always been outside her world, unable to reach her heart at all.

But he was unwilling to accept it; he really wanted her to be by his side.

With seven parts concern and one part pleading, Lin Shengwen said, "You...aren't you lonely like this? It must be very lonely to be all alone in this world!"

Ji Yongling shook his head and smiled, saying, "A person who is lonely at heart will feel lonely and cold even in a bustling city. A person who is rich and content at heart will live their life according to their own desired path, and even if they end up alone and desolate, they will still have the warmth and courage to face loneliness and coldness!"

You don't need to worry about me not doing well. Whether it's wonderful or miserable, it's my own choice. I have my own beliefs and pursuits, and I'm willing to endure all the storms and tempests on the path I've chosen.

Yes, it was all Ji Yongling's own choice, except that he wasn't part of that choice. She didn't choose him!

Lin Shengwen was extremely upset. He took a deep breath, nodded, and said in a low voice, "I... understand... I was impulsive... but I really..."

Ji Yongling smiled slightly, interrupting Lin Shengwen's next words.

Her smile held an undeniable firmness: "Many things, if you think about them slowly, you will definitely understand. Life is a long journey, and everyone has their own path to walk. Our meeting was an accident, and the fate that comes by accident is inherently thin and weak. Being able to accompany each other for a period of time is already extremely difficult."

As for anything else, I shouldn't ask for more, nor should I force anything! I consider you a shining friend in my life. If fate allows, we will meet again; if not, we will part ways, and there's no need to feel regret. Forcing two paths that never intersect together in life will only make us strangers.

Lin Shengwen's heart sank suddenly, as if something had gripped it tightly. Ji Yongling's tone was so calm, her gaze so clear and profound, but all of this told him: some things cannot be forced; some people are destined to accompany you only for a short while.

Ji Yongling was someone who briefly accompanied him in his life, someone he couldn't force! Lin Shengwen looked at Ji Yongling, his eyes involuntarily welling up with tears.

Why could the person in front of him speak with such calmness and coldness at such a young age, as if she had experienced countless storms and had already seen through the joys and sorrows of the world? But to him, these words were as cruel as a dull knife, piercing his heart inch by inch.

Lin Shengwen opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but found his throat felt blocked, and he couldn't make a sound. He wanted to say, "I like you very much, and I want to be with you." But Ji Yongling's words had already blocked all future paths; how could he possibly say it?

Seeing Lin Shengwen remain silent, Ji Yongling sighed and said softly, "Lin Shengwen, thank you!"

"What are you thanking me for?" Lin Shengwen wanted to say, "I don't need your thanks, I just want you to accept my feelings!" But before he could speak, Ji Yongru and Ji Yong'an returned with a bouquet of flowers.