The temporary judge wants to cultivate immortality

Li Dachengzi swung his long knife into the house like a black whirlwind, his target Wu Sanpang. Judging from the fierce look in his eyes, he had no intention of leaving him any way out.

"bang"

Li Zicheng swung his long sword and cleaved it into the roof beam above his head. Instantly, a "crack" was heard, and the thatched hut tilted six degrees to the left.

If you ask me why my visual estimation is so accurate, exactly six degrees more or less?

I'm the author, so I call the shots!

Wu Sanpang wasn't stupid. He knew very well that he had no personal guards around him right now, and how could he possibly be a match for someone like Li Zicheng, who came from humble origins, in close combat?

At this critical juncture, the difference between those who live off the government and bandits becomes apparent!

He first flung the plates and dishes on the table at Da Chengzi's face, and then, taking advantage of Li Zicheng drawing his sword, he ducked down and sneaked into the inner room where Er Ya was, blocking the door behind him.

This time it was Xiao Liu's turn to panic. He jumped up and down outside the door, shouting, "I'm Chief Inspector Shen Xiao Liu! You better release the hostages first!"

The door opened a crack, and Er Ya was kicked out by Wu Sangui, whose eyes were bloodshot, before the door was slammed shut again.

Er Ya, still shaken, asked Xiao Liu, "What happened?"

Xiao Liu had no time to watch the two butchers tearing down the house. He just comforted Er Ya: "It's okay. When they were trading horses before, Fatty didn't deliver the goods, so Da Chengzi detained Fatty's wife."

"Oh my god!" Before he could finish speaking, Er Ya screamed again.

Li Zicheng pounced on him. He had finally learned his lesson and realized that the ceiling of the house was too low to cut down with his long sword, so he used a stabbing method instead. In just a few strokes, Li Zicheng stabbed a hole the size of a head into the door of the inner room!

Xiao Liu, holding Er Ya's hand, cursed at Huang Simao, "Aren't you going to do anything about this or not?"

Huang Simao helplessly spread his hands: "I can't abuse my power here."

As he spoke, he pointed one finger to the ground and the other to the sky, indicating the underworld and the mortal realm. However, with Er Ya present, he couldn't say it outright.

"Damn it!" Xiao Liu cursed casually.

At that moment, Li Dachengzi was shouting into the house through the large hole in the door, "Come out if you dare!"

Wu Sanpang inside didn't say a word. A cloud of pink mist shot out from the cave entrance. Da Chengzi screamed and dropped his long knife, rubbing his eyes frantically with both hands.

Xiao Liu thought to himself, "Why are they carrying biological weapons?"

Only when you sniff it do you realize that it's the rouge Er Ya used on her face when she got married! It's said that she hasn't used it once in the three years since she got married, and it's all benefited Li Dachengzi!

Xiao Liu was furious. He cursed Huang Simao, "You can't control it, but I will!" He squatted down in a horse stance, mustered all his strength, lifted the hilt of the long knife, and threw it into the well in the courtyard.

Wu Sanpang was still throwing out rouge in small amounts, but the dosage was getting smaller and smaller, indicating that the stock was running low. Xiao Liu kicked the door latch with a "bang," and just as the door opened a crack, Sanpang's soft sword, like a silver snake, stabbed out, flicking its tongue. But when he saw that it was Xiao Liu outside the door, he suddenly lost his strength, and the soft sword went limp inch by inch in Xiao Liu's abdomen.

"You, go sit on the kang!" Xiao Liu yelled at Wu Sanpangzi. Then, he led Li Zicheng to the well to wash his eyes. When he dragged him back into the house, he also yelled at him, "You, sit on the end of the kang!"

Da Chengzi's chest heaved as he panted heavily, his eyes still unable to open. He sat on the kang for a moment, then turned and squatted against the wall, tucking his hands into his sleeves: "It's comfortable for geese to squat like this."

In that instant, Xiao Liu felt like a primary school homeroom teacher...

Er Ya wisely went back to her room to tidy up the mess. Xiao Liu grabbed Huang Simao by the collar and said, "You go help my wife." Then he turned around and tried to calm his raging emotions, saying, "What grudge do you have? Is it really necessary?"

But at this point, Xiao Liu remembered the deep-seated grudges between the two and immediately said, "I can't control your grudges in the mortal world. I only care about your lingering resentment in the underworld. In the end, when you died, the debts in the mortal world were long wiped clean. Am I right?"

Wu Sanpang remained silent, but Li Dachengzi, with his eyes closed and a look of indignation on his face, said, "This little ball is ruining the goose's reputation." Wu Sanpang immediately straightened up and retorted, "Who started this hooliganism first!"

Xiao Liu slammed his hand on the table: "Are you done yet? If you keep making noise, I'll throw you both into the oil pot tonight!"

The two men fell silent, and the only sound in the room was the deep, heavy breathing of the three men.

"How old are you? Huh? Regardless of who's right or wrong, your affairs in the mortal realm have long been settled. What am I? I'm the judge of the underworld, here to appease your grievances in the netherworld."

Xiao Liu paused for a moment: "In the end, you only have an hour or two to return to life, Da Chengzi, how comfortable was it to poop?"

Li Zicheng murmured, "It's beautiful."

Xiao Liu then asked Wu Sangui, "Is it nice to burn firewood, sleep on a warm kang (heated brick bed), and no longer have to endure the cold and dampness of the underworld?"

Wu Sanpangzi didn't answer, but silently threw away the soft sword in his hand and nodded vigorously.

Xiao Liu continued, "But you might only have two or three hours left. Instead of cherishing and enjoying them, you're preoccupied with worldly grudges..."

He looked around his house, which was tilted six degrees: "Are you still fighting to the death over that little grudge?"

Wu Sanpangzi lowered his head, while Li Dachengzi put his hands on his head and let out a heavy sigh.

"Old men, listen to me, get up, pour each other a bowl of wine, we're still good friends tonight." Xiao Liu swallowed back the words "children should be good."

Fortunately, the table hadn't collapsed. The dishes were gone, but the wine jar was still there. Wu Sanpangzi got off the kang first, kicked the broken sword on the ground outside the door, and filled a bowl with the wine jar.

Look at those men who were once true kings and nobles, their magnanimity and demeanor. In contrast, Li Dachengzi, with his red and swollen eyes and his face still covered in grime, stood up, downed the wine in Wu Sanpang's bowl in one gulp, and then smashed it on the ground with a "crack"...

"Drink today, for tomorrow we may die!" he said, filling Wu Sanpangzi's bowl to the brim.

Looking at the broken pieces of dishes scattered all over the floor, Xiao Liu felt his heart bleed as he thought about how he would have to learn to eat with his hands like an Indian starting tomorrow.

After finishing a whole jar of wine, the hero and the tyrant had returned to their initial merriment. They even talked about the military affairs of the past. Wu Sangui told Li Zicheng that if he had been in command, he would never have reached an agreement with Zhang Xianzhong, nor would he have given up his base in Shaanxi. He would have only sent a small force of infantry and cavalry into Beijing. Even if there were minor mistakes, he would not have lost his capital. Li Zicheng nodded repeatedly, saying, "Yes, yes."

"Ding!" The Merit System's voice came: "The host has resolved a worldly feud, which is a great merit. The system reward will be issued soon."

No sooner had the words left his mouth than a loud crash was heard in the courtyard. It was clear that the system had just sent out something new. Xiao Liu wanted to go and see what it was, but he saw that Wu Sangui and Da Chengzi had already rushed towards the gate side by side, yelling, "Thieves in the courtyard, where do you think you're going!"