The First Venerable of the Prosperous Age

This chapter can be omitted

Lu Xiaosan returned to the backyard and saw a figure flash by near the outhouse in the distance.

"Who's sneaking around in the outhouse at this hour?" He cautiously approached, not daring to make a sound.

He lay down on the grass and looked closely: the person standing in front of the outhouse was the landlord.

He held the gourd in his hand, looking hesitant, as if he were pausing to think about something in front of the outhouse. His appearance was quite different from his dignified image during the day.

Lu Xiaosan wondered, "What's he doing in the outhouse? Does he want to drink my brewed wine again?"

At this moment, seeing the landlord gritting his teeth, raising his eyebrows, and clenching his fists, he finally made up his mind to take the gourd into the toilet.

"What is he hesitating about? Why bring his drinking gear into the toilet? Could it be that he really... hahaha."

Lu Xiaosan crawled forward, eager to witness the scene of him drinking urine.

He had only taken two steps when a groan of retching came from the outhouse!

"Goodness, he looks so respectable during the day, but his tastes change so much at night!" Lu Xiaosan teased.

"Whoosh!" A sound suddenly came from the outhouse, and a figure flew out. It was the owner of the building, stepping on a green cloud, soaring straight into the sky. Then, with another "whoosh," the person was again riding on the cloud, flying swiftly southward.

As he drove off to Yunnan, Lu Xiaosan's mouth remained agape for a long time. "This guy, how did he... ascend... to immortality?"

"Could it be that...could it be that this Immortal's Pavilion really has exiled immortals? That you can become an immortal just by eating and drinking from the latrine? That's ridiculous..."

"But... what about this...?"

"Forget it, let's go see it for ourselves!"

Lu Xiaosan hurriedly ran into the outhouse, and found that apart from being slightly cleaner than a regular outhouse, there was nothing different about it.

"Then...why did that guy have to choose this place? And why did he suddenly fly away?"

Lu Xiaosan had a wry smile on his face. "He's not really addicted to drinking, is he? He's just coming here for refills..."

Wanting to find out more, he lay down in front of the latrine to examine it and see if there were any signs of it being gnawed on.

It was pitch black all around, with only the buzzing of flies.

“Brother…” Chang’an’s voice came from the doorway of the outhouse.

Lu Xiaosan was startled by the sound and turned around to see him standing at the door, looking at him with a puzzled expression.

Lu Xiaosan panicked and just wanted to quickly find some words to brush it off, "Little beauty, you... how come you get up at night at such a young age! In the future... you should... be careful about how often you do it."

"I...I only came out because I heard a noise, and I didn't expect to find you drooling and lying in front of the pit..."

"You...you mustn't misunderstand! I...I just tripped after using the toilet, I didn't mean to eat anything!"

"But... I haven't said it yet..."

Lu Xiaosan was speechless after hearing this, "I..."

Chang'an's doubt suddenly turned into worry, "Brother, what happened to your face? Why is it so swollen and covered in blood!"

Lu Xiaosan wiped the blood from his nose and said with a grin, "Hehe, I told you I tripped by accident. It's just a nosebleed, it's nothing serious."

"Come on, let's go back to sleep." Lu Xiaosan stood up and led him back to the kitchen.

The two lay on the straw mat, each lost in their own thoughts, unable to fall asleep for a long time.

In the dark kitchen, Chang'an suddenly said with a grin, "Brother, now I finally know why you always smell so bad."

"Ouch!" Chang'an received a sharp rap on the head from Lu Xiaosan.

"Go to bed quickly!"

The following morning, Lu Xiaosan's illness flared up again, and after being thoroughly tormented, she finally woke up in a daze.

At the same time and place, the poster walked to the stove with a blank expression and silently began washing the leftover dishes from yesterday.

Lu Xiaosan pointed at the landlord, his mouth agape in astonishment, "You...you didn't pass away yesterday...oh no, ascend to heaven? What are you doing here washing dishes?"

"Could it be that you've taken pity on me and come here specifically to return the Blue Fluorescent Pearl...?"

The poster gave him a sidelong glance, didn't answer, and continued washing the dishes.

"This guy is completely different from when he's drunk. I wonder if he still remembers what happened last night?"

"Did you drink the wine I gave you last night?" The original poster didn't answer.

Lu Xiaosan pressed for answers, and the landlord finally snorted and said coldly, "You really are... forgetful of what you've learned."

Chang'an asked suspiciously, "Last night? What kind of wine did you drink? Can I try some?"

"Children shouldn't interrupt when adults are talking," Lu Xiaosan said.

After saying "Oh," Chang'an buried his head in his work again.

"Then...then why did you carry a wine gourd into the latrine yesterday?" Lu Xiaosan asked again.

"You saw it?" The poster immediately blushed with anxiety.

Lu Xiaosan sneered, "Yeah, I'll see you again..."

"Enough!" the poster shouted sternly.

"Haha, little beauty, do you know? Last night he... um..." He was interrupted halfway through his sentence by a green dome formed from green light that forcibly blocked his mouth.

Upon seeing this, Lu Xiaosan realized, "If he can conjure a shield, he can also conjure green clouds..." He then understood that Lu Xiaosan had flown away on his own last night, and had not ascended to immortality.

But why did he run away? And where did he run to?

After hesitating for a long time, the poster finally decided to explain: "Going into the outhouse is naturally for using the toilet, but I only realized after I went in that you can use this gourd, but I can't."

Chang'an couldn't help but ask, "Why can he use it, but you can't?"

The poster smiled and said, "Because his size is too small, he can still fit it in, but I can't."

"What are my dimensions?" Chang'an asked again.

The original poster scoffed, "Go ahead and ask the girls in the building to test you."

"Oh." Chang'an put down what he was doing and swaggered out of the kitchen.

Upon seeing this, Lu Xiaosan frowned. Before he could speak, the landlord waved his hand and sent him to the backyard to chop firewood.

And so, another busy day began at Zhexianlou.

In the afternoon, the host disappeared after preparing the meal, and Chang'an, who went to deliver food to the girls, also failed to return for a long time. Only Lu Xiaosan and Tiangao, a lone man and woman, were left in the kitchen.

Lu Xiaosan asked her, "Why does your landlord get such intense pleasure even when he goes to the toilet?"

Caught off guard by the question, Sweetie chewed on her rice and asked suspiciously, "What did you say?"

Lu Xiaosan recounted what happened last night, and after listening, Tian Gao showed a rare smile. "He thought the outhouse was too disgusting and didn't want to go in."

"nausea?"

"That's right, the poster has a very serious case of mysophobia. He doesn't allow anyone to touch his body, doesn't eat at the same table with others, and doesn't allow anyone to enter his room."

"Moreover, people who insist on washing their own dishes and cooking their own meals will naturally shy away from public toilets."

Lu Xiaosan nodded, thinking to himself, "No wonder he told me to stay so far away from him. It must have been tough for him to live under the same roof as me." Lu Xiaosan even felt a sense of gratitude towards him.

"Then where did he go after taking off from the outhouse?" Lu Xiaosan asked casually.

After taking a bite of rice, Tian Gao said, "Of course I couldn't hold it in any longer, so I went to find a place to use the restroom."

"Going to the toilet? Is it really necessary to make such a fuss?"

“Since he can’t go to the outhouse, we can only go out of the city and find a secluded place…and then…” After saying that, Sweet Cake frowned and ate a bite of rice.

"If he hates it so much, why does he linger in front of the latrine for so long?"

"Because the original poster doesn't want to go through that trouble, he's also trying to get rid of this strange habit."

After finishing her sentence, Tian Gao finally showed displeasure and said angrily, "I'm eating, let's stop here for today." She turned her head and continued eating by herself, ignoring Lu Xiao San.

From then on, Lu Xiaosan's evil spirits flared up three times a day, and each time they were more severe than the last.

Even so, he stayed in the kitchen as agreed and went to the rooftop every night to deliver wine, hoping to bump into the owner who was drunk and unconscious, so that he could steal Lan Yingzhu and make a quick getaway.

But every time I went there, the owner would just gaze to the north, and I wondered what he was thinking.

Every night, when all is quiet, he would still struggle and suffer, flying from the outhouse to outside the city.

Chang'an became increasingly familiar with the girls in the building, but he remained oblivious, treating them merely as ordinary playmates.

That evening, Lu Xiaosan was about to go out to deliver wine when he suddenly heard a commotion outside.

"Isn't this place already closed? Why are people still coming?"

He listened intently, and the noise grew louder and louder until all the girls in the building came out.

Chang'an was awakened by the noise, rubbing his eyes and asking, "Brother, what happened?"

"Want to know? If you want to know, then go and show us. Go, go, go." With that, he pushed Chang'an outside.

"But... Brother, aren't you going to go and take a look?"

"I want to too, but I promised the cook I wouldn't go out."