The Book of All Things: Born for Joy

107.

The lyrics to "The Little Girl Picking Mushrooms" were written by lyricist Chen Xiaoguang during a field trip to the mountains of Hebei Province. In 1982, Chen Xiaoguang went to Hebei to attend a lecture for music enthusiasts and to revise the students' compositions. One rainy morning, while taking a walk in the mountains, he encountered a group of little girls picking mushrooms. He chatted happily with them, and the children's innocent and simple ideals deeply moved him. He asked the children if they would eat the mushrooms themselves. The children said they would dry them to sell. He then imagined the scene: "Quickly carry them to the market, exchange them for a small sickle, and some lollipops, and share the happiness of labor with your friends."

Li Zichun thought of this song because of its theme of resistance. It is said that after the song was written, he was asked to rewrite the lyrics and compose the music. The reason was that the leaders of the cultural troupe felt that the song depicted the dark side of rural life. Lines like "Barefoot in the early morning, walking all over the forest and hills" and "Everyone knows the fragrance of the mushrooms in the mountains, but she refuses to taste them" showed that her family was poor and that she couldn't eat the mushrooms herself and had to take them to the market to exchange. Was this a satire on economic development?

However, the lyricist did not give in. Instead, he found Gu Jianfen to compose the music again, which is why the song was able to be passed down.

The development of Chinese culture and art, like mythology, is full of struggle. Kuafu chasing the sun and Jingwei filling the sea are both praises of indomitable will and the courage to fight against things that seem invincible.

When Li Zichun came out of the villa complex, he inexplicably ran into Li Xiuyuan.

The other person was also taken aback when they saw him, and then took the initiative to come over and greet him. Li Zichun responded with a faint smile, "What a coincidence, what are you doing here?"

Li Xiuyuan said with a smile, "I didn't expect to run into you here. I live here. Why didn't you come with Qianfan?"

Qianfan? Why are you calling him so affectionately?

Li Zichun said calmly, "I'm just visiting a friend. I'm not with him today. Do you live here? Want to chat sometime? You seem to know him quite well."

Li Xiuyuan's expression twitched slightly. Li Zichun couldn't see it clearly under the dim streetlights, but he said calmly, "Okay, I just finished eating and came out for a walk. It's a bit of a distance to the subway station, so we can chat as we walk."

Seeing his enthusiasm, Li Zichun couldn't find a way to refuse, and since she had a few questions she wanted to ask him, she agreed. The two walked together for a while, silent and speechless.

Li Xiuyuan looked at the entertainment superstar beside him and said with a smile, "Are you dating Zhao Qianfan?"

Li Zichun said frankly, "No, I'm just his boss."

Li Xiuyuan stared at him for a moment, then smiled and said, "Well, that's good. I advise you not to."

Is this person treating you like an imaginary enemy? You've already broken up, why are you still concerned about all this?

Li Zichun didn't reply. He continued, "I dated him. It was the happiest time of my life. I thought we would be together forever, but I found out in the end that I was just a substitute for someone else."

Li Zichun asked in astonishment, "A substitute?"

Looking at his expression, Li Xiuyuan said, "Hehe, it seems he didn't tell you."

Li Xiuyuan reached out and touched his own face, then looked at Li Zichun's face. Just as he was about to touch Li Zichun's face, Li Zichun took two steps back.

Li Xiuyuan snapped out of his daze and laughed, "Don't panic, I just couldn't tell us apart for a moment. We look very alike, don't you think?"

Li Zichun touched his own face, then looked at him, nodded, and said, "Hmm, he does resemble him by about 80%. Could it be...?"

Li Xiuyuan continued, "That's right, we're all just substitutes for someone."

Li Zichun's expression was one of surprise and uncertainty. "Holy crap, Wanwan looks just like you?!" Suddenly, the drama "Empresses in the Palace" flashed through his mind. All the beauties in the palace were just replicas of Chun Yuan. He was searching for your shadow among a bunch of women! This kind of mess had actually happened to him. The thought was terrifying, and he couldn't help but shudder.

Seeing him in a daze, Li Xiuyuan raised his hand and waved it in front of him, saying, "Are you alright?"

Li Zichun snapped out of his surprise and asked blankly, "Where did you hear about this?"

Seeing his reaction, Li Xiuyuan smiled and said, "It was one time when he was drunk and hugged me. He called me Ruoqing. I asked him who Ruoqing was, and he smiled and said, 'Isn't that you?' When I looked at him, I realized that the way he looked at me was like he was looking at someone else. After that, I tried a few more times, and each time it was that name I didn't know, Li Ruoqing."

Li Zichun also recited the name, Li Ruoqing? He had never heard of this name before, but it sounded familiar.

Li Xiuyuan continued, "Afterwards, I also sent people to investigate. There are many people with the same name across the country, and even quite a few dead people. We searched for a long time but couldn't find any clues. But one thing I'm sure of is that he never loved me."

Li Zichun sensed the desolation and loneliness in his tone, reached out and hugged him, but didn't say anything.

Li Xiuyuan sighed deeply: "I once thought that it would be fine to pretend I didn't know anything and just live like this for the rest of my life, at least he was still by my side. But one day, he suddenly told me that he was going to find his true love. After that, we lost contact. Later, I heard about him again in the news, that he had entered the entertainment industry and was surrounded by countless handsome men and beautiful women. Then, I watched him fall from grace, be ostracized, be blacklisted, and then be discovered by you, release a new song, become a king of singers, and get to where he is now."

Li Zichun listened quietly without saying anything, unsure of what to say.

Li Xiuyuan let out a long breath and said, "I'm telling you all this not because I want you to break up with him, but just so you can be mentally prepared."

Li Zichun nodded and said, "You don't hate him?"

Li Xiuyuan said with a faint smile, "Of course I hate him, but I also truly loved him. The time we spent together doesn't lie, and even though we've separated, I still hope he's doing well. If he truly loves you and you can bring him happiness, I sincerely wish him well."

Looking at his face illuminated by the dim light, Li Zichun saw a gentle and handsome face, full of sincerity, with a hint of bittersweet reminiscence, and couldn't help but feel a pang of emotion.

Li Zichun hugged him and said with a smile, "Seeing you like this, I suddenly thought of a few songs. Can I sing them for you?"

Li Xiuyuan was a little flattered and said with a smile, "Okay, I'm happy to be able to help you."

Li Zichun said with a smile, "It's a Cantonese song. You can record it and listen to it when you miss him, or listen to it when you miss me."

Li Xiuyuan didn't know what he wanted to do, but he did as he was told.

Looking at his childlike and adorable face, Li Zichun said in a calm tone, "When it comes to fate, if you're too casual, you'll miss out, but if you're too serious, you'll suffer. It's easy to sever ties, but it's hard to stop missing someone and never look back."

After Li Zichun finished speaking, she sat down on a rock by the roadside, picked up a small stone, tapped it lightly a few times, then threw it away because she didn't like the sound. Looking at Li Xiuyuan's face, lost in memories, she softly sang one of Jacky Cheung's representative Cantonese songs, "Still Think You're the Best":

Even though you've left, my passion remains unchanged. In this long night, who is the one you love?

Flowers no longer bloom, love has grown as vast as the sea. If you still miss me, why do you feel so melancholy alone?

But I don't know how to talk about the future, but I'll wait patiently for your return.

In this cold, disheartening winter, to meet you again in a passionate way is all my beautiful dream.

But I don't know how to talk about the future, yet I quietly await your return.

Even though our wishes have diverged amidst spring breezes and autumn rains, there are still some old dreams I want to share.

Everything suddenly seems like a source of distress; looking back on our paths...

Is it love, fate, or pain? Today, I know nothing.

I still, and surprisingly, still think you're the best.

......

Even if you leave, my passion remains unchanged.

In this long night, who is the one you love?

Flowers no longer bloom, love grows as vast as the sea.

If you miss me, why are you alone and filled with sorrow?

Li Xiuyuan had traveled all over the country over the years and naturally understood Cantonese. His hand holding the phone trembled, and as he listened, he burst into tears. He admitted that he still loved him. It was just that he no longer loved himself.

Li Zichun could naturally understand his heart from his words; his gentle and delicate singing voice flowed into his heart like water.

Life is a series of missed opportunities; may neither of us waste our time. The moon is bright, but its brightness is useless; it shines even though it's useless. I like you; liking you is useless; I like you even though it's useless.

After Li Zichun finished singing, he went over and hugged him, saying, "If you want to cry, then cry out loud. Crying will at least make you feel a little better."

From a distance, this strange scene on the roadside looked like a woman comforting a man who had just broken up with his girlfriend and had drunk too much. No one knew that it was actually a woman being pursued by her ex-boyfriend comforting her ex-boyfriend.

Li Zichun also had his own considerations. He knew he would have to leave sooner or later, and who knew what might happen in the remaining three years. It would be good to have someone to talk to them in his place.

He couldn't say he felt sympathy for Li Xiuyuan; more accurately, he felt a sense of closeness. With a face that bore a striking resemblance to his own and the same surname, Li, he figured Li might be connected to his father, who was nowhere to be found.

As for his experience, it was nothing more than a case of misplaced sincerity, yet he had already fallen deeply in love and was unable to extricate himself. Life is mostly like this: meeting the person you want to spend your life with at the wrong time, and that person dazzles you, while everyone else is just a compromise.

Li Xiuyuan also felt a sense of closeness to the person in front of him, and hugged his head, feeling the warmth he hadn't felt in a long time.

When he regained his composure and looked at Li Zichun again, he felt somewhat embarrassed and out of line.

Li Zichun smiled and patted his head and back to calm him down, saying, "Don't worry, I won't be with him. If I'm gone one day, I hope you can come back to see him, talk to him, and be an old friend."

Seeing his confused expression, Li Zichun smiled and said, "You don't need to understand now. You'll naturally know when the time comes."

After saying that, he put on his glasses and mask, turned around, entered the subway station, and went back.

Li Zichun only believed half of what Li Xiuyuan said. As for the "Li Ruoqing," he had seen the name in the investigation report that Yi Ziqiang had given him, and he remembered that the report at the time stated "doubtful."

What does this mean? He specifically asked Yi Ziqiang about it at the time, and Yi replied, "We couldn't find the person," meaning it's uncertain whether this person even exists. In Zhao Qianfan's childhood and adulthood records, no one with this original name or changed name exists. Yet, this person is frequently mentioned by him when he's drunk, which is very puzzling.

Not to mention Li Xiuyuan, who found it difficult to accept, Li Zichun himself couldn't accept it either.

This brings us to the devastating power of the "white moonlight" ideal. "From then on, everyone I loved resembled you." To be so devoted to one person is undeniable passion, but upon closer examination, it often masks a frivolous excuse, a form of self-pity, and ultimately, harm to both parties. Of course, there's another ending, like the viral article on Zhihu, "The Willow by the Palace Wall," where the protagonist, knowing they are merely a shadow of another, turns their passion to ashes, consciously becoming a substitute for life.

Li Zichun knew he couldn't do that. Thinking of his face, which was seven or eight parts similar to Li Xiuyuan's, he touched a strand of hair in his hand, lost in thought. In his view, such an action would undoubtedly "desecrate the white moonlight, humiliate the current partner, and move himself."

Thinking of Li Xiuyuan's unstoppable tears, Li Zichun couldn't help but recall a saying from netizens: "When the ex cries, the current one loses. When the current one cries, the whole game is lost." Of course, he wouldn't cry for Zhao Qianfan; he felt disgusted. If he was looking at someone else while looking at himself, then what was the truth behind their companionship over the past few months?

The person he wanted to make breakfast for was Li Ruoqing, the person he wanted to eat and go shopping with was Li Ruoqing, and the person he wanted to grow old with was also Li Ruoqing. He himself was just an insignificant "fake".

Thinking of this, Li Zichun couldn't help but gasp and exhale, becoming increasingly curious about this person who didn't even exist in his life.

He even considered some possibilities, such as the "dream meeting" between Du Liniang and Liu Mengmei in "The Peony Pavilion"? Or the "affectionate nickname" agreed upon between someone he knew? Or perhaps Zhao Qianfan himself wasn't "Zhao Qianfan"? Or was he reincarnated with memories?

These are all possibilities, after all, I'm not the same "me" I used to be. But how could that be possible? There's a ten-year gap; I'm only twenty now, while Zhao Qianfan is thirty...

Just as he was lost in thought, Qi Tong meowed, indicating that he had arrived home. He shook his head, greeted the two people lying in the yard, and then went back to his room to rest.

PS: Data is from the internet.

"Still Think You're the Best" is a Cantonese song performed by Jacky Cheung, with lyrics by Lau Cheuk-fai, music by Mimi Club, and arrangement by Chiu Tsang-hei. It was included in Jacky Cheung's Cantonese album "Love.Spark.Flower," released on November 27, 1992. This song is one of Jacky Cheung's representative Cantonese songs. In 1992, it won awards including the 15th Top Ten Chinese Gold Songs Award.