Being a passerby in HP female protagonist fanfiction

Clearly, Cedric was far more affected than I was. He sat there in silence for a moment, then picked up a map and began to skim through it.

I:"……"

When people are embarrassed, they always like to find something to do and pretend they are very busy.

However, Cedric clearly hadn't found the right thing—the map in his hand was one I had drawn, with my Chinese name in the lower right corner. It was later confiscated and given to the prefect to make many copies to distribute to the freshmen, and some were kept in the common room.

Cedric stared at the map, his ears turning red with embarrassment.

Seeing how flustered he was, I miraculously calmed down, and even felt quite ashamed. My mind was filled with thoughts of the terrible things I had done and how embarrassed I had made Cedric.

It sounds strange, but I'm the kind of person who feels embarrassed when I see others embarrassed, but I'm not embarrassed myself.

It's a bit of a mouthful... cough cough, but the gist is that I'm a little worried about Cedric.

At the time, it was a group of several classmates from Hufflepuff who were close to me. Cedric even brought a gift to visit me while I was sick, but because of his classes, he came separately from Susan Hannah and the others.

So, when it was just Cedric and me, I patted Cedric's head.

I:"……"

...(＿＿)ノ｜

Actually, Susan and the others touched them all on their trip, but Cedric, being an upperclassman, made it a little different.

When Susan went to the medical wing, she almost hugged my arm and cried her heart out. After I came back from the medical wing, she checked me over and over again to make sure I was okay before she was relieved.

Cedric... well, I don't remember very clearly. I think he came, I touched my head, he said a few words, and then we went through that process.

I think there should be a sweating emoji right now.

Seriously speaking, as awkward as it may be, if I really make Cedric feel embarrassed, I'll feel so guilty that I won't be able to sleep for days. People like this kind of thing as a joke, but if they don't like it, they think it's harassment. My mind was filled with all sorts of scenarios where I would be disliked, and I immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario.

Even knowing that Cedric wasn't the type to get angry over this, the more I thought about it, the more terrifying it became.

After realizing that Cedric was not doing well, I immediately looked away, afraid that he would feel more uncomfortable if I stared at him, while I was already mentally reciting an apology.

The unspeakable guilt is tormenting. I'm having a brainstorming session. On the surface, I seem to be alive, but in reality, I've been gone for a while.

Should I apologize? But wouldn't apologizing make things more awkward? What if Cedric thinks I'm overreacting...? But if I don't apologize, I don't know if he even cares...

"Claire."

I was startled; it's easy to feel this way when your train of thought is interrupted, especially when you feel guilty. But my extensive acting experience prevented me from showing fear. Instead, I turned around with a questioning expression, as if to say, "What happened?"

It was Cedric who gently called my name.

Several other senior students were still angrily cursing Lockhart in the group, complaining that the students were particularly focused on this matter, regardless of where they were, and did not notice Cedric and me, who were already very quiet.

"I'm sorry," Cedric said, his face flushed, "I still bothered you even though I knew you were sick."

I was taken aback and hurriedly said that it was nothing, nothing.

Cedric: "I'm sorry."

Me: "It's okay, it's okay."

Cedric: "I'm so sorry."

Me: "I'm really fine."

Cedric: "I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried Claire would be embarrassed."

Me: "No, not at all."

I do feel a little ashamed.

Cedric: "Susan and the others saw you before, and they said that Claire seemed to be hallucinating and touching people's heads. I'm sorry, I have to admit that I went to see what it would be like for Claire to touch other people's heads. Now that I think about it, it must have caused Claire some trouble."

Me: "It's nothing, it's nothing... huh?"

Cedric, did you go there on purpose?

I was shocked.

Perhaps amused by my gaze, Cedric coughed lightly and couldn't help but smile. It wasn't a smile, but a hearty laugh. Lighthearted feelings are always contagious, and I belatedly joined in the laughter.

I realized that Cedric had said those things on purpose, probably because he noticed I wasn't relaxed and wanted to ease the tension and tell me not to mind those things.

I don't think Cedric would enjoy watching others make fools of themselves (the Weasley twins are more likely to), and even if he says he's curious, it's more likely out of concern for a friend.

It's not just me who's worried that Cedric will feel offended; Cedric is also worried about whether I'll feel offended.

Whether in the original work or fan fiction, Cedric is a figure of unwavering devotion, a warm-hearted, meticulous, brave, and loyal young man with exceptional talent.

However, we can't look at things from only one perspective. If we only focus on Cedric's status as the "white moonlight" (idealized friend), we'll easily fall into a stereotypical view. Besides these wonderful qualities, Cedric is also a student with a playful side. He occasionally jokes with his close friends or teases his classmates in a gentle way.

"Don't worry, it's really nothing, I was worried that I might have offended you because I wasn't thinking clearly at the time." I calmed down and opened my heart honestly.

Whether something is awkward depends on how both parties perceive it. When Cedric and I both felt it didn't matter, it became a joke. I finally relaxed, leaned back on the sofa, and continued listening to my classmates chattering away.

Cedric also quieted down, but not in the way I expected. He quietly breathed a sigh of relief, trying to calm himself down to relieve the heat on his face.

He was a teenager with little experience in pretending. Although he wasn't lying, there were still some things hidden in his words that went too far, to the point that he felt he couldn't face Claire properly again right away.

As Mrs. Pomfrey said, Claire's illness was strange and serious.

Magical potions can cure many unusual diseases, but Claire's situation was exceptionally special. Her body was like a leaky funnel that could never be patched, with life force just being drained away.

There is no potion that can cure Claire, only alleviate her depletion. This sounds terrible, but the reality is not so bad. Claire is getting better. Every time she returns to Hogwarts, she is growing up. The illnesses that have been bothering her are slowly disappearing. It may be a very slow process, but a bright future can be foreseen.

Most people in Hufflepuff know about Claire's condition and are worried about her, so they don't bother her too much when she's sick.

Rest is what Claire needs most.

Cedric had done the same thing.

He originally only planned to deliver the gift, say a few words, and leave.

But Claire called out to him.

"May I pat your head?" she said.

That's straightforward.

Cedric had already heard Susan say that Claire might be having some hallucinations, so he was only slightly surprised.

"Why are you touching my head?" Cedric asked.

Claire lay in the hospital room, pale-faced but not out of her mind. There was an unconcealable weariness under her eyes, and her brows concealed her confusion.

“Because you are a bunch of cats… I want to pet you,” Claire said slowly.

Even though what she said was so nonsensical, Claire acted as if it made perfect sense and was perfectly reasonable, maintaining her own set of behavioral logic.

Despite usually acting like an adult, Cedric often overlooks the fact that Claire is two or three years younger than him during conversations, treating her as a friend worth talking to and confiding in.

“…” Cedric almost laughed, but he held it back. He was worried about Claire, even though Mrs. Pomfrey said there was nothing seriously wrong, the incident from the attack a few days ago was still not fully understood.

It's better to see a sober, safe Claire than a rare, chaotic one.

Cedric thought.

Claire paused, thinking. She had said everything she wanted to say, so she looked up, extended her hand, and gave a silent hint.

"..."

Cedric shouldn't have done that.

This was merely an illusion, a fact Cedric knew perfectly well, but...

He couldn't refuse Claire.

Claire was exhausted. She had a fever the day before, so she didn't have the strength to stand up. Her hand wasn't raised very high either. Her eyes were fixed on the person in front of her, with a hint of hope. Even if things didn't go her way, she would probably just say "oh" and put her hand down.

"Okay then," she said, sounding disappointed.

Clearly, few people—or rather, Cedric—would refuse Claire when she expressed her expectations.

Because when he was being gazed at like that by Claire, he couldn't ignore that longing, tender feeling that was reserved for small animals, to the point that he felt guilty for actually letting Claire down.

This is strange.

Cedric thought that his brain seemed to have been infected with the velvety virus, and all he could think about was that since Claire had asked, he might as well do it, since it wasn't a big deal and Susan and the others had already touched it.

then--

Cedric lowered his head.

At a suitable angle, so that Claire, who doesn't have much strength, can place her hand on it.

Cedric is very tall, so bending over like this would be a bit tiring, but it didn't matter. Claire put her arm around him almost without hesitation, and very quickly. She gently stroked his soft head back and forth before pulling back.

"Okay, thank you," Claire said contentedly, then lay down, pulled the covers over herself, and fell asleep.

Even in her sleep, she was uncomfortable, her body slightly curled up, hardly at ease.

Cedric, whose mind had only just returned to normal, was stunned. When he realized what he had just done, he blushed all over, his face and ears turning red.

Merlin, what is he doing—is touching the head of a classmate the same as touching the head of an older male student? Is he not lucid either, Claire or him?

Realizing something was wrong, Cedric suppressed the urge to cover his gray eyes and ran away quickly.

Amidst his overwhelming guilt and shame, he discovered a different kind of feeling.

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small theater:

Claire's own perception: She was out of her mind and harassed others.

Actually: May I touch your head? (Honorific title plus question)

Everyone: Why do you want to touch me... Okay, I agree.

Claire: (v^_^)v

Although it wasn't mentioned, I think it's worth mentioning: Claire showed a very kind smile when she touched everyone, but they all chose to ignore it.

The head pat was to fulfill the psychological task of petting any cat she saw; no cat could escape being petted when it came to Claire.