Reborn in 1966

Chapter Ninety-Seven Pregnancy

At first, Pei Yin didn't react. She thought that her family would soon have another child. At that time, there was no family planning policy, so they could have as many children as they wanted. Her mother's health had improved a lot in the past two years, and she had recovered enough to have another child. She would help take care of the child. Pei Jing was someone she had watched grow up, so she had some experience. Thinking of this, Pei Yin couldn't help but chuckle.

Shen's mother, however, was taken aback by Doctor Wang's words before she realized what he meant. Her expression turned somewhat unpleasant. When she saw Pei Yin smile, Shen's mother said to Doctor Wang, "Uncle Wang, I'm already so old, I can't be pregnant again, can I?"

Dr. Wang said, "There's no mistake, it's a slippery pulse. How old are you? It's not unusual for someone your age to have another child."

Shen's mother said to Doctor Wang, "Uncle Wang, you know our family's situation. We need to have another child..."

Dr. Wang sighed and said, "Peihua's mother, it's fate that you have this child. How can you not want it? Listen to Uncle Wang, take good care of yourself, everything will be alright."

Mrs. Shen said, "Uncle Wang, don't tell anyone about this yet. I won't tell my parents-in-law either. Let me think about it first."

Upon hearing Shen's mother's words, Doctor Wang knew that she did not want the child. He nodded and said, "Don't worry about that."

Peiyin overheard her mother's conversation with Doctor Wang and realized that her mother probably had other ideas. There was no family planning policy now, and people could have as many children as they wanted, as long as they could support them. Many families in the village had five or six children, and her family only had five, which wasn't the most. Her mother shouldn't have any problem having another child. She was older now and could help take care of her younger brother or sister.

On the way home, she tentatively said to her mother, "Mom, I think we should have another little brother. We already have Peijing, so it would be better to have another brother. I can teach him to write."

Shen's mother stopped and said to Pei Yin, "Pei Yin, can we not tell Grandma and the others about this?"

Pei-Yin asked, "Mother, why?"

Mother Shen shook her head. In the soft moonlight, Pei Yin saw sorrow on her mother's face, a sorrow so deep and unyielding that Pei Yin had never seen before.

Pei-Yin said, "Mom, can I give my food to my little brother?"

Shen's mother said, "Peiyin, you don't understand. As your parents, I have given you children far too little. Rather than suffer like this, it would have been better if you hadn't come into this world." After saying this, tears streamed down Shen's mother's face. She turned her head, wiped away her tears, and walked home with a slightly unsteady gait. Her back view looked so sorrowful.

When they got home, Grandma asked Shen's mother, "What did Doctor Wang say?"

Shen's mother said, "It's just a little indigestion, it'll be fine in a couple of days."

Grandma looked at Shen's mother carefully, her lips moved, but she ultimately said nothing.

As Pei-Yin lay down next to her mother at night, she said, "Mom, why didn't you tell Grandma about the little brother in my belly?"

Mother Shen stroked Pei Yin's head and said, "Yin Yin, although you are young, I think you are a sensible child. I believe that when a child is born, it's not just about feeding them, but also helping them get married and establish themselves. Otherwise, it's a dereliction of duty on the part of the parents. But look at our current situation. Your brothers haven't found wives yet. If it continues like this, and your younger brother can't find a wife either, it will break my heart. Rather than that, it's better not to let your younger brother come into this world to suffer." As Father Shen spoke, tears streamed down his face, but Mother Shen calmly let the tears flow freely, neither sobbing nor wiping them away. Pei Yin lay in her mother's arms, looking up at her mother's sorrowful face, her heart feeling as if it were being torn apart.

Pei-yin was still unwilling to give up. She wiped away her tears and said, "But Mother, maybe things will get better in the future?" In her heart, Pei-yin thought, "Mother, we must persevere for a few more years. After a few years, this absurd movement will end, and we will be able to turn our lives around."

Shen's mother didn't say anything more, but let out a long sigh. In the darkness, that sigh sounded so distant and sorrowful to Pei Yin's ears, and Pei Yin's eyes instantly reddened.

Autumn has arrived, and the crops in the fields are slowly ripening. It looks like another bumper harvest year, and everyone is in high spirits. Pei Yin is worried about Shen's mother, fearing that she might secretly go to the hospital alone.

Grandma assumed that Shen's mother's unusual silence was due to her worry about Shen's father. In addition, Grandma was always concerned about Peihua's marriage, so she didn't ask many questions. Peiyin, on the other hand, was very attentive to Shen's mother. Every morning, she would bring Shen's mother a bowl of plain water. Shen's mother felt even more distressed. This was only a four-year-old child, yet she was taking such good care of her mother.

A few days later, on Friday evening, Shen's mother told her grandmother that she was going to the commune school for a day of study on Saturday and would leave early in the morning. Her grandmother didn't think much of it and just said, "Make two big pancakes for yourself to take with you tonight. The commune school doesn't provide lunch. The village primary school teachers bring their own food when they go to study or meetings."

After dinner, Shen's mother went to the kitchen and used a large pot to bake two large pancakes mixed with cornmeal. Once the pancakes had cooled completely, she wrapped them in a white cloth and put them in the house so she could take them with her the next morning.

When they went to bed that night, Shen's mother's expression was very strange. Pei Yin, who was paying attention, thought that something must have happened to Shen's mother. The mother and daughter slept with their own thoughts. The next day, just as dawn broke, Shen's mother got up, washed up, took two large pancakes, and went out.

Once her mother left, Pei Yin quickly got out of bed and told her grandfather, who was sweeping the yard, that she was going to the commune to study with her mother. She didn't pay attention to her grandfather's worried shouts and hurriedly chased after Shen's mother out of the house.

Pei-yin didn't dare disturb Shen's mother, who was walking ahead, and quietly followed behind her mother. The narrow road was full of potholes; some places were solid clods of earth, while others looked high but were actually soft soil, leaving a "plop" of dirt on her feet. Pei-yin wore a pair of red corduroy shoes with straps made by her grandmother, with most of her insteps exposed. Corn and soybeans were planted on both sides of the road. The corn stalks were quite tall, and the soybean stalks weren't short either. Pei-yin swung her short legs and walked along the roadside, where the crops on both sides could provide some shade. Pei-yin thought that she would call out to her mother once they reached the city, so that her mother wouldn't send her back.

As dawn broke, glistening dewdrops still clung to the crops on both sides of the road, and the air was filled with the scent of ripe produce. There were hardly any people in the fields yet, as the work was done collectively. At this hour, there weren't many people working in the fields, except for some who were weeding or watering their private vegetable gardens.

Hungry, Pei Yin forgot that she was only four years old. With her little arms and legs, she had to run behind her mother, otherwise she would lose sight of her mother in no time.

Pei Yin had never been to the commune or the county town, and she didn't know the way. If it weren't for her grandfather in the yard, or if it were her grandmother, she wouldn't have been able to follow her out so easily. In order not to get lost, Pei Yin gritted her teeth and followed behind her mother.

The journey to the county town was only a dozen miles long. Pei Yin followed with all her might. When the sun rose, she could see the bridge that was the only way to enter the town in the distance. Only then did Pei Yin feel relieved. She called out loudly behind Shen's mother, "Mother, Mother!"

While still focused on her journey, Shen's mother heard the shout behind her. Turning around, she was so shocked that her mouth dropped open. She quickly went over and pulled Pei Yin to look her over from all angles. Somewhat angrily, she said, "Pei Yin, I came to the county town on business. Why did you come with me? Do your family members know you're here?"

Pei Yin wiped the sweat from her face and said, "Mom, I've never been to the county town before. I just wanted to come with you to see it. I told Grandpa before I left."

Shen's mother took out a handkerchief from her pocket and carefully wiped the sweat off Pei Yin's face. She said, "Since you've come along, stay with your mother. Don't run around. The county town is much bigger than Shenjia Village, and there are many more people. If you run far away, your mother won't be able to find you and things will get bad."

Pei Yin said, "Mother, don't worry, I'll stay with you, and I definitely won't lose myself."

Shen's mother led Pei Yin slowly along the road. Pei Yin noticed that it was rush hour in the city, and the streets were filled with people hurrying to their factories or workplaces. Some were eating breakfast at street stalls, some were eating buns or steamed bread as they walked, and others had aluminum lunchboxes tucked under their arms. There weren't many people riding bicycles, nothing like the massive bicycle army in Beijing during the 1970s and 80s as depicted in documentaries. In this era of planned economy, the number of bicycles in this small county town was quite limited. You couldn't buy a bicycle just by having money; you also needed a bicycle ticket.

Holding Pei Yin's hand, Shen's mother arrived at the entrance of a Hongqi Restaurant. She said to the restaurant staff in white uniforms who were setting up a stall in the open space in front of the restaurant, "Give us a bowl of wontons." Then she led Pei Yin to sit down at a small table in front of the restaurant and wait.

The woman selling wontons was in her thirties. She saw Pei Yin smiling at her, her round face flushed, like a ripe apple, probably from walking too much. Pei Yin, seeing her being looked at, smiled and said, "Thank you, Auntie." But when it came time to cook the wontons, the woman softened and put in a few extra. After cooking, she served them in a large bowl and placed it in front of Shen's mother. Shen's mother said in surprise, "Little sister, I ordered a small bowl."

The wonton vendor said, "You two are a mother and daughter. Who can eat a small bowl? Don't worry, ma'am, I'm giving the extra to the little girl. It's free."

Upon hearing this, Pei Yin quickly stood up from the small stool, bowed to the wonton vendor, and said gratefully, "Thank you, Auntie."