Stop pretending, I'm a security guard, a five-star general!

"Damn it, you look down on security guards, huh?"

"Are you going to file a complaint against me?"

"You're calling me a piece of trash, aren't you?"

"You're insulting my parents, aren't you?"

Qin Yu smiled coldly, opened the takeout box in front of him, and found that it was actually a small hamburger.

"Hehe, you ordered mini burgers, right?"

"Watch me add some secret seasoning, and I'll treat you to a special mini burger!"

Qin Yu took out a bottle of his specially made secret sauce from the drawer. It was a mixture of eighteen kinds of harmless ingredients, including wasabi, cilantro, garlic, aged vinegar, and canned herring.

(PS: In a parallel universe, these ingredients are mixed together and are non-toxic and harmless. Apart from the explosive taste, there are no problems at all. They even have the benefit of promoting bowel movements. Don't ask why, it's just abstract.)

Then, he opened the hamburger bun, spread a thick layer of his secret sauce evenly on it, put the bun back on, put it back in the takeout box, and finally placed it back on the ledge outside the window.

After doing all this, Qin Yu returned to the guardhouse, locked the door, and then continued to lie on the armchair, pretending to be nonchalant, and happily started scrolling through his phone.

Before long, a burly man with an aggressive demeanor walked over and started banging on the door of the guardhouse!

Boom boom boom! ! !

"Open the door! Open the door for me!"

"Weren't you pretty arrogant just now?!"

"You dare to provoke me? Then open the door if you dare!"

"Why are you hiding inside and too scared to make a sound!?"

"Huh? Are you scared? You little piece of trash!"

Hearing the other party's barking, Qin Yu didn't pay any attention to it. Instead, he put on his headphones and continued scrolling through short videos.

"There are plenty of reviews online, but I'll tell you if they're true or false. Today, I'm reviewing Wang Fengyuan Restaurant..."

Outside the door, shouts were deafening; inside, people were relaxed and carefree—two completely different scenes.

After knocking for a while, and finding that Qin Yu had no intention of opening the door, the burly man spat disdainfully towards the doorway.

"Pah! What is that?!"

"A dog like you, who only earns less than ten thousand yuan a month, is only fit to be the dog of the upper class like us for the rest of your life."

"A stinking dog like you should hurry up and lick the feet of us upper-class people. If I'm in a good mood, I might even give you a bone as a reward."

"Of course, I'm a germaphobe. You filthy, lowly commoner shouldn't come near me. I'm afraid you have some kind of disease and probably don't have many years left to live, right?"

"Don't worry, when you die, I'll bring a loudspeaker to your grave and have a lively disco party to send you off properly."

Through the window, the burly man glared fiercely at Qin Yu, then picked up the takeout from the window ledge, head held high, and swaggered away.

He looked every bit the victor.

Qin Yu's mood remained completely unaffected; he continued to cross his legs, hum a tune, and scroll through his phone.

But as the burly man turned to leave, a slightly eerie smile appeared on Qin Yu's lips.

Then, about ten minutes later, a series of pig-like screams suddenly came from a building deep inside the residential area!

Everyone in the building could hear that piercing wail, and they all clicked their tongues and shook their heads in dismay.

Which company is starting to slaughter pigs now...?

At the same time, a mechanical notification sound suddenly rang in Qin Yu's ears.

"Ding! Successfully taught a lesson to an ungrateful homeowner. Agility +1, Role Playing Points +1!"

Hearing the heavenly voice in his ear, Qin Yu also showed a comfortable smile.

Ah~ that feels so good~~~

Then, another two hours passed.

During this time, Qin Yu successfully intercepted seven more food delivery drivers!

To date, the interception success rate is as high as 95%!

Unfortunately, the other homeowners who ordered takeout later were all very good-natured and understanding. They didn't argue with Qin Yu much and just came down to pick up their food.

This rendered Qin Yu's secret sauce useless.

Qin Yu continued scrolling through his phone, seemingly bored.

Then, an elderly woman with gray hair walked in, carrying a sack of things, her body trembling.

Upon seeing this, Qin Yu quickly ran out of the guardhouse and went to meet him.

"Grandma Chen, let me help you."

Upon hearing this, Grandma Chen looked up and a kind smile immediately appeared on her wrinkled face.

"Oh, it's Xiaoyu."

Qin Yu walked up to Grandma Chen and picked up the large sack she was carrying.

Yo ho.

It's quite heavy.

This explains why Qin Yu's strength has increased significantly compared to before.

Otherwise, it would be quite difficult to pick it up.

Thinking of this, he looked at Grandma Chen and asked curiously;

"Grandma Chen, what's in here? It's so heavy."

"These are all wild vegetables I dug up on the mountain today."

"Wild vegetables?" Qin Yu was stunned.

"Yes, your Grandpa Wang has been urinating frequently lately, so I'm planning to make him some wild vegetable soup to nourish his kidneys," Grandma Chen said with a smile.

"Oh, I see," Qin Yu said, recalling Grandpa Wang's recent listless appearance, and nodded in deep agreement.

"It really is time to replenish it."

"By the way, Xiaoyu, why did you become a security guard all of a sudden?"

"Won't this interfere with your studies and martial arts practice?" Grandma Chen asked with concern.

“Hey, Grandma Chen, that’s not right,” Qin Yu waved his fingers repeatedly. “My Uncle Wang was almost sixty when he became a security guard, while I became one at the tender age of eighteen. I’ve saved myself forty years of hardship compared to my Uncle Wang!”

"Hehehe," Grandma Chen was immediately amused, "You glib-tongued brat."

"Alright, give me the bag. I need to rest for a bit, then I'll have the energy again."

Qin Yu was taken aback: "Grandma Chen, are you sure you can do it? How about I help you carry it up?"

Grandma Chen waved her hand with a smile: "It's alright. Don't let your frail appearance fool you. When I was young, I was a proper martial artist. Lifting this little thing is no problem at all."

"Oh, okay, then Grandma Chen, be careful."

Qin Yu nodded, and then handed the sack back to Grandma Chen.

After saying goodbye to Grandma Chen, Qin Yu planned to return to the guardhouse.

However, at that moment, two middle-aged women walked over from outside the door, chatting and laughing.

Seeing this, Qin Yu immediately smiled and waved, greeting him:

"Mom, Aunt Li, you just got off work?"

Upon seeing this, one of the middle-aged women with slightly shorter hair stopped smiling abruptly, quickly covered her face with her hands, and hurried away.

"Huh?" Aunt Li, who was standing to the side, was taken aback. "Amin, why are you running? Look, isn't that your son, Xiaoyu?"

Chen Min, who was walking quickly forward, covered her face and whispered:

"No, you've mistaken me for someone else. It's too dark, let's go."

"Oh."

Watching the two leave so quickly without even saying goodbye, Qin Yu helplessly spread his hands and sighed:

"Sigh, women, they're just so vain."

……

Chen Min pushed open the door and returned home, her face gloomy, and she let out a long sigh.

Seeing this, Qin Xiaotian, who was sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper, asked with some concern:

"Honey, what's wrong?"

Chen Min slumped onto the sofa with a helpless expression, like a salted fish that had lost its dreams:

"What else can it be? It's all because of your precious son."

"Xiaoyu?" Qin Xiaotian was taken aback: "What happened to Xiaoyu?"

"What do you mean, 'what'?" Chen Min glared angrily and said, "Tell me, what's gotten into this brat? Why does he have to become a security guard?!"

"Moreover, it's one thing to be a security guard, but he has to be one in our community!"

"How am I supposed to hold my head up in front of my neighbors and colleagues after this?"

Qin Xiaotian chuckled and said, "Hey, he's just a kid. He's probably only interested in something new. With this kid's patience, he probably won't want to continue for more than a few days."

"Heh," Chen Min sneered, "I don't think this kid is just after something new."

"Do you know what this kid did today?"

"He actually put up a sign at the entrance of the residential compound that says 'No takeout orders or dogs allowed!'"

"Don't you think he's just bored and has nothing better to do!"

Qin Xiaotian was taken aback upon hearing this, then burst into laughter:

"No wonder I haven't seen any delivery drivers in the neighborhood today. Turns out it's all this kid's doing."

"I think it's great. These delivery drivers used to ride their electric scooters recklessly through the neighborhood and have hit people several times. Now they've put up a sign to keep them out, which I think is a good thing! It deserves encouragement!"

"Still laughing! Still laughing!" Chen Min pinched Qin Xiaotian's belly fat and said angrily:

"Are you really going to let our son be a security guard for the rest of his life?"

Qin Xiaotian winced in pain, and said with a wry smile, somewhat helplessly:

"What should we do then?"

"This kid is last in both academics and martial arts. He probably won't awaken anything at tomorrow's talent awakening ceremony. In that case, he might as well become a security guard or something. That would be fine."

"Anyway, with our current savings, supporting another freeloader isn't a big burden."

“No,” Chen Min shook her head firmly, “I can’t accept that my son will only be a security guard for the rest of his life.”

At this point, she suddenly remembered something, her eyes lit up, and she looked at Qin Xiaotian beside her and asked in a low voice:

"By the way, isn't your dad the top official in Southeast Province?"

"Why don't you ask your dad if he knows any rare and precious herbs that can defy fate?"

Qin Xiaotian sighed softly: "My father is just the governor of the southeastern province, not the emperor of the Great Xia Dynasty. How could he possibly have any heaven-defying treasures to change his fate?"

"Besides, our dad has given Xiaoyu all sorts of nice things since she was little, but they weren't really any good."

"Forget it, our son is destined to be an ordinary person in this life, let's just accept it."

Upon hearing this, Chen Min sighed helplessly, seemingly resigned to her fate.

However, at this moment, Qin Xiaotian suddenly smiled and said:

"Hey? Honey, since our main account is ruined, how about we start over and create a new one? A new account?"

Upon hearing this, Chen Min looked at the other person with a suspicious expression:

"With your belly all over the place now, do you think you can still manage?"

"Hey!?" Qin Xiaotian immediately became anxious upon hearing this and stood up abruptly:

You can say a man is ugly, or you can say a man is fat, but you can't say a man is incompetent!

As he spoke, he rolled up his sleeves and said confidently:

"Today, I will let you experience once again the mighty and valiant spirit of a man from Jiangnan!"