Rebirth to Save Myself

Before she knew it, Su Xia had already spent a week in this time. Every day when she opened her eyes, she hoped that she could return to her rented room, but what she saw was still the ceiling made of wooden planks.

Every day, she went to school, played with her friends, and did morning exercises, following the same routine. She really didn't understand what was going on; why had she suddenly returned to when she was five years old? But the people around her and the calendar told her that it was 2002. Su Yue didn't exist yet; she was born in 2003.

"Could I really have been reborn? What event led to my rebirth? Aren't novels all about car accidents and falling off cliffs? At most, I had terminal cancer, and I was reborn after taking a nap in my rented room?" Su Xia couldn't understand why she had been reborn for no reason.

However, Su Xia was also able to calmly face everything before her. She knew that there was no use in being anxious, and she couldn't throw a tantrum and demand to go back. All she could do now was to live her life in this world step by step while searching for a way back.

To be honest, she had considered the idea of ​​being reborn before. She longed to go back in time, change herself, and save her wounded self. But these were just fantasies. If rebirth were truly possible, all those important figures would be lining up long ago. There would be no chance for an ordinary rural person like her; it was simply unrealistic.

Therefore, Su Xia always believed that the world she was in was a fake world, and she could not immerse herself in it and instead ignore reality.

She rationally told herself not to become obsessed or fall into it. But everything felt too real: the house in her hometown, the cement road, the simple bridge with who-knows-how-many years of history, and the countless people on the streets she remembered—it all felt so real.

"Dinner's ready, Su Xia, come downstairs quickly," Grandma called out to Su Xia from the kitchen doorway.

"You're here." Su Xia put on her shoes at the door, turned around, walked through the second-floor corridor, and went to the stairs at the back of the house. Then she went down the stairs, and just as she reached the stone corridor, her neighbor was washing vegetables in front of her kitchen. When she saw Su Xia, she called out to her.

"Xia, are you rushing to eat?"

“Yes, Aunt Wang. Haven’t you eaten yet?” Su Xia replied, stopping in her tracks and standing in the courtyard.

"Almost done, just need one more vegetable dish. Go eat now." Aunt Wang pulled her wet hands out of the basin and waved to Su Xia.

"Okay, Aunt Wang." After saying that, Su Xia turned around and walked up a few steps and a short slope from the living room to the kitchen.

Grandma was already sitting in a chair, eating from a bowl. Su Xia climbed up the bench, which was quite high for her now, using both hands and feet. The table was already set with rice.

"Thank you, Grandma." Su Xia said, picking up her bowl to eat. Then she remembered that she hadn't washed her hands, so she put down her bowl, got off her chair, ran to the water vat, stood on tiptoe, scooped up some water with a ladle, and slowly washed her hands clean before returning to the dining table to eat.

Grandma never even glanced at her, continuing to eat her meal without a second thought. At first, Grandma would accuse her of being a hypocrite, saying it was all an act. No one had taught her that; how would she know to wash her hands before eating? But no matter what she said, Su Xia remained silent. After a few times with no response, Grandma gave up and let her be.

"Thank you, Grandma." Su Xia returned to the dining table and said thank you again before picking up her chopsticks to eat.

Grandma didn't understand why she was thanking her before. When Su Xia said thank you for serving her rice, Grandma didn't say anything more, but she didn't respond either.

The table was set with the usual stir-fried bok choy and a plate of stir-fried white radish, both dishes that Su Xia absolutely disliked. But living under someone else's roof, she couldn't afford to be picky. Besides, if she didn't eat, her small frame would get sick, and her grandmother wouldn't take her to the doctor.

After the meal, Su Xia carried her bowl to the water vat, ready to wash it. Just then, her neighbor, Grandma Chen, saw her and asked, "Old Chen, why are you letting a five-year-old wash the dishes?"

Grandma glared at Su Xia when she saw this, and Su Xia quickly explained, "You misunderstood my grandma. I was just putting my empty bowl over here. This way, grandma will have to do less. Grandma is already working so hard taking care of me."

"Wow, you're quite sensible."

"Just leave it there and go play. Don't break my bowl, little one." Seeing that Su Xia had spoken up, Grandma didn't make things difficult for her in front of Grandma Chen. Su Xia obediently put down the bowl and left the kitchen.

"Your granddaughter is so sensible. You need to take good care of her while her parents are away."

“I’m taking care of her, how could I not feed her? Her parents haven’t given me a single penny, and I haven’t even said anything yet.”

"Alright, alright, your second brother's family went out to make money. When they have money, they'll have to take care of you, right? You'll have to help them take care of the kids."

Hearing his grandmother and Grandma Chen talking behind him, Su Xia stopped eavesdropping and went back to her room. She'd hear these things again and again in the future, so hearing less now was always good.

Back in her room, Su Xia pulled out her notebook, filled with notes she'd kept since her first day in this world. She'd originally hoped to find clues to return home, but it'd become her diary instead. Luckily, her grandmother thought she was too young and hadn't looked through what she'd written.

"Sigh, when can we go back!"

A semester passed in the blink of an eye, and school was on winter break. The increasingly cold winter meant the Spring Festival was approaching, but her parents told her on the phone that her younger sister had passed away, and that they wouldn't be able to go home for the Spring Festival. The local authorities were strict about this; if they knew her mother was going back, she would definitely be forced to undergo sterilization. But how could her mother give up before giving birth to her younger brother?

Su Xia didn't understand, but she didn't make a fuss. She spoke calmly with her parents on the phone and continued living her life as usual. Her grandmother thought the child missed her parents, so she had become much quieter over the past six months. Neighbors had also subtly inquired whether her grandmother was abusing her, but how could a five-year-old child with the soul of a twenty-nine-year-old be expected to be lively?

Although her parents didn't come home for the New Year, they still asked a fellow villager to bring her a new set of clothes. She saw the villager also slip an envelope to her grandmother. She guessed it contained money from her parents to her grandmother, because her grandmother had been a little nicer to her since then, and there was occasionally some meat on the table. She ate whatever was served and never complained, since she didn't have the right to choose anyway.

For New Year's Eve dinner, she spent it with her uncle's family, her younger uncle's family, and her grandmother. She was lucky enough to get some chicken and soup. However, after the meal, her grandmother only gave her cousin a red envelope, keeping none for herself. She explained that her cousin was just a child and she was afraid of losing the money. She understood that since her parents weren't around, she definitely wouldn't receive any New Year's money. Previously, when she did receive New Year's money, her mother would confiscate it, saying that she had exchanged the money for her cousins ​​with her own wallet, and that she had no right to keep it.