Rebirth to Save Myself

Su Xia, holding the hospital report, walked out of the outpatient clinic in a daze. She walked straight ahead without seeing a car approaching, when suddenly a hand grabbed her, pulled her back, and swerved to avoid the car.

The driver stopped and yelled, "Are you crazy? Can't you see a car coming? If you don't want to die, don't drive into my car. I don't have any money to pay you back."

After saying that, the driver drove off cursing. Su Xia looked back and saw that it was a hospital security guard who had grabbed her.

"Thank you, thank you." After thanking her, Su Xia walked towards the bus stop.

The way home required taking a bus, then transferring at the subway station, and finally riding an electric scooter home. She didn't want to go through all that trouble, but although it involved multiple transfers, it would save her some time. She had originally planned to go to the hospital before returning to work, since she could work half a day and still get paid.

However, given her current situation, she simply couldn't concentrate on her work, so she asked her manager for leave. Since starting this job, she had always arrived early, completed her work on time, and rarely took leave. Even so, her manager was still very unhappy about her leave. She said that her absence affected the department's overall progress, and that her sudden leave meant no one would do her work; she had to finish the work she was absent from today's schedule within the week.

After wandering around for two hours, Su Xia finally returned to her place. Looking around, she saw her pitifully small apartment crammed with all sorts of clutter. She gathered the clothes that needed washing and put them in the washing machine. Then she swept the floor, collected the trash, and took it out to throw it away. After finishing her busy work, looking at the tidy room, she felt much more relaxed.

She glanced at the bag of hospital test reports placed next to the door and recalled what the doctor had told her.

"Your case is rare, but it's not uncommon," the director said coldly, looking at the form in his hand.

"Doctor, what's the difference between me getting treatment and not getting treatment?" Su Xia asked softly.

The doctor glanced at Su Xia's age and felt a pang of sympathy, but he still had to tell her the truth. So he replied, "If you want treatment, you'll need to prepare at least 500,000 yuan as a minimum. We'll need to perform surgery to see how far the cancer cells have spread. Even with successful treatment, the survival time is conservatively estimated at only two or three years, so you need to be prepared. Without treatment, you'll have at most three months."

The doctor's words pierced Su Xia's heart. She was stunned for a moment, unable to understand why misfortune would still befall her when she had tried so hard to live her life.

"I understand, doctor, thank you." Su Xia slowly left the clinic with the documents.

Back to the present, Su Xia forced a bitter smile. It was just a routine company employee physical exam, so why did she develop this problem? Although she occasionally experienced pain, how could it have progressed to cancer? She couldn't understand it, she really couldn't understand why.

The phone rang with a "ding," indicating a work-related issue.

Su Xia opened her phone and found a message from HR, asking her to come to her as soon as possible to process her resignation.

Su Xia: Why so suddenly? I informed the manager in advance and asked for leave today!

HR: If there's anything you need to discuss, you can come see me tomorrow, and we can talk in person. Just rest well today and get some rest.

Su Xia looked incredulous, but HR refused to explain the reason to her online. They kept saying she could find out when she went to the company tomorrow, and that she could ask the manager, who also said HR would explain it to her and that she shouldn't worry.

How could she not be anxious? The manager was clearly unhappy when she asked for leave at noon. Could she be fired because of this?

I endured an incredibly agonizing night, and went to the office the next day with dark circles under my eyes.

As soon as Su Xia arrived at the company, she was called to the conference room by HR.

The HR person acted like they were old friends, pulling Su Xia down to sit and saying, "Don't be nervous, how have you been feeling lately?"

"It's alright, everything's fine." Su Xia didn't understand why HR was asking about her health right away, but she answered honestly anyway.

The HR person nodded, then looked at Su Xia with sympathy and said, "We understand your health condition, and we are saddened by your illness. The company's decision to let you leave is to give you time to receive treatment. Of course, out of humanitarian considerations, the company will also compensate you with an extra month's salary. What do you think? You can tell me what you think."

"My medical examination report is a matter of personal privacy. How did the company know about my illness?" Su Xia was very puzzled. She only learned about it from the doctor yesterday. How could the company know so quickly?

"That's right, the hospital confirmed with us to avoid any mistakes, so I know about this. But don't worry, only a few people know about this right now, it won't get out." The HR person smiled and patted Su Xia's hand to express reassurance.

Su Xia was momentarily speechless, but after thinking about it, she realized that staying at the company for the remaining three months didn't seem like a good idea. So she said, "Okay, let's leave it at that then."

The HR person nodded in satisfaction and said, "Then wait here for a moment, I'll go get the resignation papers."

Su Xia finally completed the resignation procedures, packed her belongings at her workstation, and left the place where she had worked for two years.

Back at her place, Su Xia couldn't help but miss her mother, so she made a phone call to her.

"toot toot"

"Hello, is this Xiao Che?" A cheerful voice came through the receiver.

Su Xia felt a pang of sadness and replied, "Mom, it's me, Xia."

"Oh, Xia! Is there something you need?" Her mother's voice instantly turned cold, and she asked a question indifferently.

"Mom, I might need 500,000."

"What? Five hundred thousand, Su Xia, have you been gambling or taking out high-interest loans? You need so much money. You haven't given much money to the family all these years of working, and now you want money. We've raised you for over twenty years and you don't even know how to share the burden of the family."

Her mother's scolding continued to come through the receiver, and Su Xia's eyes grew redder and redder, tears welling up in her eyes as if they would fall at any moment.

"Mom, I quit my job. I have a lot of expenses lately, so I won't be able to send you money anymore. Take good care of yourself, I have to go now." Su Xia hung up the phone after saying that, wiped away her tears, and smiled.

From childhood, she was neglected simply because she was a girl. In that era of family planning, her parents struggled to find a son, while she was raised by her grandmother. Her grandmother wasn't kind; she transferred her dislike for her mother onto her. Adding to the problem, her parents were poor and couldn't afford to give her grandmother living expenses, so sometimes she didn't even have enough to eat.

She understood very early on that her grandmother didn't like her, her parents didn't like her, and she could only silently accept it all. She didn't understand why, only knowing that the more she said, the more mistakes she would make. She could only see her parents once a year during the Lunar New Year, but it wasn't the kind of family reunion atmosphere seen in TV dramas. Amidst her parents' sighs, she learned that she had four younger sisters, one who died young, two who were given away, and the last one who survived.

When she was thirteen, her mother finally gave birth to a baby boy, named Su Yaoche. His arrival made Su Xia realize that her parents weren't bad at expressing themselves, nor were they short of money to buy toys. They simply gave all their love to Su Yaoche.

Her mother often taught her that when she started working, she would save 2,000 yuan out of every 3,000 yuan she earned each month. Her mother wouldn't touch that money; she would save it to buy her gold jewelry as a dowry when she got married. Her mother also taught her to be kind to her younger siblings, because these were the family members who would help each other in the future.

As she grew older, her mother would occasionally tell her that she was also her parents' precious daughter, and that they loved her too. It was just that her younger brother was smaller and needed more attention and care. She would be deeply moved and help ease her parents' burden without complaint.

Since graduating, she has been sending money to her mother every month, and her mother always asks how she is doing. She feels that the past is the past, and her mother had a hard time back then too. Now that the family's financial situation is gradually improving, her mother is smiling more, and she feels proud to be able to help her family.

Her mother's words on the phone completely broke her heart. It turned out that in her mother's eyes, she was nothing more than a tool for making money. She had secretly overheard her mother talking to others, saying that daughters were all going to get married, and the reason she kept her younger sister was because the dowry for the two daughters could be saved and used to help Su Yaoche get a wife. Anyway, she would never pay for someone else's dowry herself.

At the time, she refused to believe it, thinking her mother was just joking. But her mother didn't even ask what she needed the 500,000 yuan for, or what she required it for. She simply berated her for borrowing money at exorbitant interest rates to gamble. She had always been a model citizen, something her mother had witnessed; why would her mother say such hurtful things? She didn't understand, or perhaps she didn't want to understand. The facts were right in front of her, yet she remained blind to them.

She hadn't even considered treatment, because it was too expensive and the outcome wouldn't be good. She just wanted to know if her mother would be heartbroken when she learned she had cancer, so she tentatively asked her mother to see if she cared about her. This was the result she received. Whether she died or not, no one would be sad or heartbroken for her.

Suddenly, I felt that dying of cancer like this wasn't so bad, since I had no point in living anyway. I've lived a meaningless life, earning just enough to cover my expenses each month, living in a cramped single room, and eating greasy takeout. I've really had enough.

Thinking this, Su Xia gradually fell asleep. After she fell asleep, a gentle light slowly drifted to her, checked her surroundings, and then entered her body and disappeared.