Caiyi couldn't hear his voice at the door; she was rummaging through drawers and cabinets looking for things.
Cai Yi was a little uneasy, not knowing whether Cheng Xin had the habit of keeping a diary.
Caiyi found a diary on the bedside table and opened the pages.
January 3st
On the day Mingming was born, she was a soft, cuddly little ball of fluff, looking so adorable...
I showed it to Baili Tu, and he looked disgusted and said that it was clearly ugly, like a monkey.
I was a little sad when I heard that, but then I thought that she'll be so cute when she grows up... and Baili Tu will like her...
January 3st
Mingming turned one year old, but Baili Tu didn't come back; he was busy with work...
I didn't want Mingming to be unhappy, so I lied to him and said that I had a fight with my dad, and that he didn't come home for my birthday...
He was being very good. He kissed me and said in a soft, sweet voice, "Mommy, I'm happy."
I laughed and replied to his childish words, "Yes, Mom is happy, let's blow out the candles."
He tried to blow out the candles twice but couldn't, which made me laugh. I playfully pinched his nose, hugged him, and helped him blow them out...
Mingming made a wish: "Mommy, crawl, be happy."
January 1st
Baili Family Residence, Mingming returns to the old house for the first time.
The mother-in-law really liked Mingming, so Baili Tu forcibly gave Mingming to her to raise...
I resisted the urge to leave and went to see Mingming the next day, but I didn't see her...
My mother-in-law says I've spoiled the child; he cries at the drop of a hat, even to the point of fainting... But he's usually very well-behaved and rarely cries...
He must have been terrified; it was the first time I'd ever had such a fierce argument with Baili Tu…
I never imagined that Baili Tu would be jealous of a child, especially since that child is his own son...
I lost him while I was spending my first New Year at the Baili family mansion...
Mingming was left at the Baili family residence.
January 3st
Today is Mingming's birthday, but Baili Tu won't allow Mingming to come back, nor will he allow me to go to the Baili family residence.
I still secretly ran away and went to the Baili family residence.
She's lost so much weight, she's no longer fair and tender, and my heart aches for her.
I secretly took him home.
Mingming hugged me, crying pitifully, her face turning red and her breath coming in short gasps.
"Mommy... Waaah... I'm scared... I'm crawling..."
His voice, trembling with sobs, tore my heart apart...
I want to divorce Baili Tu...
I can take good care of Mingming by myself.
January 3st
I entrusted Mingming to my older sister, and she smiled and agreed.
I filed for divorce, but it failed...
Baili Tu took Mingming away and threatened me to drop the lawsuit. I was so worried about Mingming... I lost control and questioned my sister.
Why did you hand Mingming over to him?!
Didn't I tell you to keep a close eye on him?
"Aren't you...not my...sister?"
Why...did you help him?
Towards the end, I almost broke down and cried.
Cheng Wan was a complete stranger to me; it was as if I were meeting her for the first time.
Cheng Wan stretched out her fingers and placed them in front of me, her tone as gentle as ever: "Look at my hands, so white and soft, with calluses on my fingertips. These are the result of my efforts to maintain my hands for the piano."
"I...can't live a hard life, you understand?"
I didn't understand what Cheng Wan meant.
Cheng Wan laughed: "Your parents always say you're weak, so they found you the most powerful family. But what about me?"
"I have nothing."
I retorted to Cheng Wan, "Your parents have given you all their inheritance!"
Although their family was not as wealthy as the Baili family, they were still a well-off family.
Cheng Wan smiled: "No, I don't care about these things. My heart is only for the piano."
"I don't have time to deal with these mundane things."
"What I need is someone like Baili Tu to shelter me from the wind and rain."
"I just need to practice the piano in peace behind the scenes."
"Do you understand, my dear sister?"
I tilted my head, somewhat incredulous: "What do you mean?"
Cheng Wan's smile was measured with a ruler, dignified and elegant: "I want Baili Tu."
I was stunned by Cheng Wan's matter-of-fact attitude. After a long while, I said, "Then shouldn't you make me divorce him even more?"
Upon hearing my words, Cheng Wan seemed to get angry again, and a crack appeared on her perfect face.
"Yes, but if Baili Tu doesn't like me, I won't achieve the effect I want."
After saying this, Cheng Wan smashed a decorative vase on her head. Blood flowed down her fair forehead, and she collapsed to the ground, unconscious. Baili Tu burst through the door.
I was stunned...
January 3st
I was imprisoned by Baili Tu. He told me to think things through before he released me.
I was released so I could celebrate Mingming's sixth birthday.
This was Cheng Wan's request; she explained that Mingming was growing up and couldn't live without her mother.
Cheng Wan said she wasn't good at raising children and was a little worried about Mingming's health.
He was raised by Cheng Wan for six years. Six years... was enough time for Mingming to forget me, his mother.
Surprisingly, he remembered me, but he was completely different from when he was a child...
He's chubby now, but he still looks cute. However, I'm a little worried because he's too fat, weighing over 100 pounds, even heavier than me...
My voice, hoarse and grating from years of silence, reached out to Baili Tu and said, "I want to take Mingming to see a doctor."
Baili Tu agreed.
The doctor told me to feed him more whole grains and vegetables, and to resume his normal diet once he loses weight.
I've learned a lot of recipes recently, and I'm confident I can make whole grains and vegetables taste great.
But I'm so sad that I spilled it...
January 8st
For the Mid-Autumn Festival, I made mooncake crusts out of plants and filled them with nuts. I tasted them and they were delicious.
I should have liked it.
Mingming fed the nuts to the dog.
I guess it's been six years since we last met, so they probably haven't gotten used to each other yet. Let's take it slow...
January 2st
On this day of family reunion, Mingming was supposed to be feasting during the New Year's Eve dinner...
I looked at those laughing and joking people and felt a little angry, but I held back.
That evening, I went to Baili Tu's place, wanting to have a good talk with him about Mingming's good health.
He clearly can't get any fatter; he's only eight years old. If he continues to eat like this, he'll have problems.
Baili Tu said I was making a mountain out of a molehill, that I had to make such a fuss on a day meant for family reunion.
He said he was sick, but he had plenty of money to treat it.
For the first time, I realized that I really didn't love him anymore... All the sweetness we once shared had been completely worn away by our mutual torment.
January 6st
Today is Children's Day, and it's also the only time I've ever been angry with Mingming.
He was eating snacks and ended up in the hospital. I was shocked and scared, so I slapped Baili Tu.
He angrily yelled at Mingming, who was lying on the hospital bed, "From now on, you have to eat these things whether you want to or not!"
This time, Baili Tu didn't stop me. He just smiled at Mingming and said, "See, your mother said that Dad can't help you anymore."
For a moment, I really wanted to punch Baili Tu.
Later, Mingming... ate the food I prepared for him, and his weight started to improve...
But our relationship is getting worse and worse...
Mingming would bring Cheng Wan the food I painstakingly made, and share his little stories from school with her...
This home makes me feel more like a third party than Cheng Wan...
It's okay, as long as Mingming grows up healthy... but my heart still aches and I feel sad...
Mingming, who loved her so much... how could she have disappeared...?
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