Tomb raiding: following the plot while tearing up the script

"What nonsense about silencing him? If our little angel hadn't come in, he wouldn't have known that saying. Do we really need to silence him?"

Su Li was completely speechless. How could the fat mother's thought process be so unpredictable, going off on a tangent in an instant?

"That was so... I could see it?" Wu Xie asked, his voice trembling. See what? See how he had harmed a person twenty years ago?

Isn't that exactly so you can see it?

Then they lure you to investigate further, to find the traps they've laid, and to solve the mystery while searching for Uncle Three.

As is widely known, the original novel is also known as "Where Did Uncle Go?" and "Little Innocent Searches for His Uncle"... (Feel free to add more).

Su Li took a picture of this sentence by the light of the headlamp on Wu Xie's head.

So you love acting, huh? Once the story is over, grab these two old men, print all of this out and stick it on their foreheads. Every morning, the first thing they should do is recite it 120 times.

"Go this way." Zhang Qiling, who had already found the tunnel leading directly to the Heavenly Palace, reminded the others to follow.

A dark hole appeared on the brick roof not far from the blood-written words. Zhang Qiling had already gone up to explore it. The space inside was okay, but the hole was not very big.

The three of them were alright; they were all on the thinner side, so getting in and out wasn't difficult for them, except for...

This is a rare, chubby creature in the world of tomb raiding.

Fatty Wang gestured with difficulty, comparing the hole's opening to his own size. He could only say that he could get in, but he'd probably have to rub off a layer of skin...

At this point, the protective function of the robe came into play. Although it was very difficult for Fatty Wang to enter, and he was almost forced in by his companions, he didn't suffer any injuries.

Fatty Wang frantically searched his chest and back, but couldn't find a single scratch. Good heavens, this outfit is incredibly comprehensive!

I've really struck it lucky to have met a group of loyal brothers and gotten such a great treasure for free.

(This wasn't shown in the TV series; in the original novel, Fatty Xie was in a pretty bad state here, covered in scrapes and blood.)

Wu Xie followed him inside, cursing as he climbed. "You fat bastard, you'd better lose weight after you get out of here. With all that fat, it'll take you longer than others to dig a hole and escape."

After finishing his rant, he noticed that the person in front of him didn't react at all, so he looked up in surprise.

Good heavens, when I looked up, I saw Fatty Wang half-lying on the ground, wiggling his fat buttocks and groping me all over, with a lewd smile on his face.

My god, this is so cringeworthy!

I was jolted awake.

"What are you doing, you fatso? You just had a sex change and now you're a pervert, huh?" Wu Xie cursed as he slapped the big butt, waking the ecstatic Fatty Wang from his reverie.

Wang Pangzi chuckled, in a good mood and didn't argue with Wuxie. He knew that blocking the way would prevent Wuxie and the others from getting in, so he immediately took the lead and started climbing up.

To be honest, who can understand the pain of crawling on all fours through a hole full of rubble?

This feels like torture. Although this precious robe has its own defense, it doesn't isolate the sense of touch. This feeling is just awful.

The tunnel they are in now is very well dug, which shows that the person who dug it is highly skilled and no less capable than Wu Sansheng in his youth.

Suddenly, a thought flashed through Wu Xie's mind. He knew who this Xie Lianhuan was: the former young master of the Xie family of the Nine Gates, the one he should call his cousin.

No wonder...

No wonder the Xie family suddenly broke ties with my family back then, no wonder my third uncle was severely beaten by my grandfather and locked in the ancestral hall.

The only heir of the Xie family in that generation, the young master who was about to inherit the family business, went out with the third son of the Wu family and died there.

How could they not fall out? He thought the Xie family head back then was too good-natured, since the two families hadn't gone to war to the death.

Oh right, and Little Flower Sister, I haven't seen her since then.

What a pity! Little Flower is so beautiful and well-behaved, and she even promised to be my wife.

If it weren't for Wu Sansheng, that scoundrel, pulling this stunt, I probably would have already gotten married by now, instead of having to deal with my grandmother's constant nagging about marriage every day.

Thinking about it like this makes my heart bleed...

"Tick tock..."

Oh? My heart is bleeding?

"Tick tock..."

"Hey? This tunnel isn't working either, it's leaking!" Fatty Wang, who was clearing the way, suddenly stopped and scratched the back of his neck, complaining.

I felt a prickling sensation on my neck, as if something's fur was stroking it.

Speaking of itchiness, Wu Xie subconsciously touched the back of his neck. He had felt itchy just now, and after scratching it a couple of times, he hadn't paid much attention to it...

Damn it...

"Fat... um..." Wu Xie looked up in terror and was about to shout when Zhang Qiling covered his mouth from behind and pressed him into her arms.

"Don't disturb it." A deep voice sounded in his ear, inexplicably calming Wu Xie's wildly beating heart.

Wang Pangzi, who was still scratching his itch, didn't notice that a large clump of black, hair-like material was wriggling on the top of his head, and the dripping sound was the sound of water dripping from that hair.

Those strands of hair seemed to be alive, moving consciously and occasionally teasing Wang Pangzi's exposed flesh.

The thought of that strand of hair sliding across his body in the same way just now gave him the creeps, and he wanted to ask Ali to give him ten or eight cleansing spells first.

Oh, right, Ali...

Turning to look at Su Li, who was following at the very back...

Kids really know how to have fun.

The three of them crawled forward on all fours, while he, on the other hand, had a woven rattan mat under him, and the child was lying on it so comfortably that he was almost asleep.

The poor, miserable companion vine struggled to work and carry the burden, following behind Zhang Qiling, chugging along while dragging the little rascal who didn't want to climb on his own.

"Beep beep, a strange creature has been detected—the Forbidden Woman. It is worth 1500 points. Do you wish to redeem it?"

Ok?

coming!

Su Li, who was lying on her back on the rattan mat, rolled over and looked ahead, only to meet Wu Xie's incredulous gaze...

Su Li, caught slacking off, felt no embarrassment whatsoever. Climbing was out of the question; she would never, ever, climb.

Wu Xie thought of his knees, which were aching from being rubbed raw in the rough tomb, and felt that Ali's methods were truly endless; a child's new brain was really useful.

He winked at Su Li, signaling him to look in Wang Pangzi's direction.

Su Li had already seen it; my lost and recovered points... Ugh... Forbidden Woman, you've finally arrived.

He gestured to Wuxie to calm down, lest he scare the little girl away, while the vine in his hand silently moved closer...

Wu Xie: What the hell is this little girl...?

The enslaved vines excitedly stretched out their little branches, wriggling and twisting. They were free! They could finally get some real work done.