The daily life of a crazy female supporting character trying to redeem herself.

"Later, whenever I saw Brother Zhouyu, I would focus my attention on him."

Although Xu Xi rarely had the chance to see him, he had rarely gone home since starting university. Qin Zhoumu told him that he and Liang Qing lived in a house in the Wanyicheng Jing community near the school.

But whenever Qin Zhouyu appeared, her gaze would unconsciously fall on him. At first, she thought it was just out of curiosity, wanting to know under what circumstances he would laugh.

The more attention she paid to him, the more she realized that he was actually a person, not a block of wood. He would laugh when he talked to Qin Zhoumu about something funny, and later, as they got to know each other better, he would smile at her too.

But it was different; it wasn't the same smile Xu Xi had on his face that day.

Three months later, he brought a painting home and treasured it as a precious gem. It took Qin Zhoumu a long time of begging to finally see it.

After seeing it, Qin Zhoumu praised it repeatedly and asked Qin Zhouyu where he found the treasure. He proudly told Qin Zhoumu that it was his girlfriend who drew it, and that smile reappeared when she did it.

Xu Xi still remembers clearly what he said next.

“My girlfriend gave it to me. She said, ‘This painting is filled with all my negative emotions. I couldn’t find a way to dispel them before, and I even intentionally let these emotions push me forward. But after meeting you, I know that there is more than one kind of force that can make people move forward in the world.’ After she finished speaking, she said she wanted to burn the painting. I couldn’t bear to do it, so I asked her to give it to me.”

Governor Qin didn't quite understand: "Since this painting has this kind of meaning, why not have her send you other paintings, such as a portrait of you? Wouldn't that be better?"

Qin Zhouyu shook his head, framed the painting, and looked at it carefully. "Even so, it still contains every little detail about her. I will not give up any part of her. Moreover, since this painting carries her pain, I must remind myself to make her happy."

As Qin Zhoumu listened, he found it increasingly strange. Why did he feel that his brother was subtly showing off their affection?

He tried to hold back, but couldn't help but complain, "Bro, I think you're getting more and more tiresome."

Qin Zhouyu laughed and patted his shoulder, "You'll understand when you find someone you like in the future."

"..."

Governor Qin gave a dry, forced laugh. Even if he had someone he liked, he would never be so cloying.

After returning home that day, Xu Xi thought about it all night and realized that perhaps she wasn't following him out of curiosity, because she had already understood that afternoon that even the same smile could be different.

Qin Zhouyu only showed that smile when talking about Liang Qing.

So warm, so captivating, so mesmerizing.

As Xu Xi lay in bed, she asked herself: Now that she had the answer, why did her gaze still follow Qin Zhouyu?

In hindsight, she realized that what she was doing wasn't curiosity, because curiosity can't make a person focus all their attention on one person's every move, ignoring everything else. Only liking can.

"When I realized I liked Zhou Yu, I panicked and was very scared because he already had you and only wanted you. I could only keep my feelings to myself."

Liang Qing was overwhelmed by this string of memories. After standing for a long time, her legs ached, so she had to put her hands on the back of the chair for support.

Xu Xi could no longer even force a smile. She said, "Later you broke up. At the time, I was more happy than regretful. I still choose to tell you this honestly, even though it's terrible of me to have such thoughts."

“I thought my chance had come, but I felt more desperate than when you were together. You two are separated, that’s true, but he remembers every word you say and even acts according to your instructions. You’re not by his side, but your will seems to be ingrained in his bones. Every word and action of his carries your shadow.”

“You know what? I even came up with a plot to make it real,” Xu Xi said, her eyes slightly red with embarrassment. “I told him that I would pretend to be his girlfriend to make him jealous, and if he still liked her, he would definitely be jealous. That was my excuse to him, but in fact, that wasn’t the case. My real goal was to make it real.”

“But Zhou Yu rejected me without even a second’s hesitation. He said, ‘Relationships are a matter between two people. If a third party is needed to realize one’s true feelings, then it’s not love.’ He said he can be easygoing about anything, but he has to be 100% sure about your love for him.”

That's why Qin Zhouyu felt so empathetic to Song Zhiji's answer tonight about why he didn't make a wish.

Xu Xi didn't know if Liang Qing knew Song Zhiji's feelings for her, but whether Liang Qing knew or not, she couldn't reveal it herself, so she didn't say it.

Liang Qing listened without saying a word, her hands gripping the back of the chair tighter and tighter, as if only in this way could she prevent herself from slipping due to exhaustion.

Liang Qing was distraught and spoke with difficulty, "If there's no possibility between him and me anymore, you..."

She stopped midway through her question, unsure of what to ask next, and the sentence trailed off.

“If there is no possibility between you and Zhou Yu, I will continue to like him as I said. Zhou Yu and I have different ideas. He said that if he can’t get what he wants no matter how hard he tries, he will accept reality,” Xu Xi continued, not caring whether she was answering Liang Qing’s question. “I am different. I will keep trying until the last moment of my life. I will only leave the stage if Zhou Yu finds his happiness.”

"does it worth?"

Liang Qing raised her head, looking dazed. Xu Xi's words had greatly impacted her long-held principles of conduct.

Since becoming a mission taker, Liang Qing has only chosen to "give" when she is certain that she will receive a "reward".

She not only avoids doing things that are thankless and difficult, but she also doesn't want to waste time doing things that don't require much effort.

She has always been "profit-driven," and everything she does is for the sake of the mission. She doesn't even want to think about anything unrelated to the mission.

But everything Xu Xi said was hard for her to understand.

Xu Ximing knew perfectly well that Qin Zhouyu didn't like her and might never like her, but she was still willing to try for him and hold onto a love that she could never have for the rest of her life.

Why? Liang Qing really wanted to know, was it really worth it?

"Was it worth it?" she repeated. "Do you know what your words mean?"

“I know,” Xu Xi said with utmost seriousness, “I voluntarily give up the right to love others and to be loved by others.”

Liang Qing stood there stunned, as if struck by lightning, unable to utter a single word for a long time.

Liang Qing remained silent, as did Xu Xi.

The small room suddenly became incredibly quiet.

A few minutes later, Liang Qing calmed down a bit. Although she was still confused, she had to ask a question: "Did you say these things to Qin Zhouyu?"