Red Wen, born in the 00s: Rectifying the King's Canyon

What's going on? Did the streamer take on another ad?

[This person was clearly born with no good intentions, so ignore them.]

Needless to say, this product is truly excellent value for money. The quality is superb, and both the elderly and children love it. I find it very comfortable to use.

……

Looking at the overwhelming barrage of comments, Gu Lin'an said, "As everyone knows, although I've only been streaming for less than a month, I've already made a name for myself in the streaming world and gained a lot of fans."

"But this is not what I want. To be honest, I have no interest in live streaming."

Listen to this! Is this what a human being says?

I feel that An Shen is in Versailles, but I have no proof.

Gu Lin'an's face became extremely serious as he said this, "So after careful consideration, I have made a bold decision."

"I'm going to play a match."

What?! That idiot team dares to take you in?!

[God must be blind; how could someone like you even participate in the league?]

[Wait a minute, Changye, weren't you suspended?]

[Actually, Changye is quite strong; if they were to compete, they would achieve excellent results.]

[If you're blind, you should go to the hospital. How can you tell that Changye was born well?]

[Run fast through the night! There are too many black pieces here, the white pieces are struggling. Second Battalion Commander, bring me my Italian cannon!]

[Tell the homeroom teacher I'm not going back to school when it starts. The company commander said if I don't shoot these thugs to death today, he'll chop off my head.]

Tell my mother I'm not a coward!

[This is too moving for veterans.]

……

Gu Lin'an tapped the table, pretending to be angry, and said, "Where did you put this? You bunch of King of Glory haters, go play CS next door."

"I can't play professionally right now, but that doesn't mean I can't play in other competitions."

"The King of Glory streamer league has just started, and I've signed up to participate. Please give me your support!"

[You need teammates to play a game, right? Do you have any, Changye?]

Damn, who do you think you are?

"I not only have teammates, I'm also the captain!"

"I'm happy that you care about me, but I don't like your attitude. Please be more careful next time."

I just checked, and the streamer really is participating in the streamer league. His teammates... wow.

[Upstairs, can't you just send the whole message? This is so frustrating.]

[He's probably not a good person. What kind of good person would team up with Changye?]

Yes, there are: Pi Ketao, Gu Ci, Mo Zi Ge, and Lu Xue.

When this news came out, everyone was filled with questions and exclamations.

[Hahaha, this is hilarious! I knew the kind of person who could team up with Changye couldn't be a good guy. Two newbies, one a noob, plus a total noob—they'd be a perfect match for the streamer.]

[Brother, as the white piece, I really can't help you with this. You're just really hungry.]

[I hope the team isn't called "Born League."]

[I'm sorry, Company Commander, I can't hold this position anymore, there are too many traitors.]

Gu Lin'an, however, remained calm and asked, "So what happened?"

"Our lineup is considered the best in the streamer league, I feel like winning first place is a piece of cake."

"You guys think you can get first place? I'll eat shit if you can!"

Even if you manage to get first place, it's just a minor achievement. Compared to my brother, it's like a frog in a well looking at the moon.

Gu Lin'an saw the message and joked, "If we can win first place in this league, we can play in the Thunder Cup. Maybe we can even meet Brother Qinglong then."

【That's perfect, I'll run into my brother and beat the shit out of you!】

When they meet, it's really hard to say who will beat whom to a pulp.

[If we were to encounter it, it would be quite a sight; I'm looking forward to it.]

After talking for so long, Gu Lin'an finally got down to business.

"Alright, let's not talk about this nonsense anymore. It's really a bit far away for me right now."

"I have something else to tell you all."

【What's the matter? 】

No.

……

"Click on the little yellow cart in the bottom right corner. There are snacks carefully selected by the streamer. They are economical and affordable. You can have some while eating with your girlfriend."

"It can be taken before, after, or with meals."

"The streamer guarantees the quality of the products; they are all top brands, so you can buy with confidence."

"Buy some; if it doesn't taste good, just consider it a rip-off."

After Gu Lin'an finished speaking, he almost burst out laughing.

Haha, I didn't expect that my feint was just a diversion; this is the real killer move.

[Damn it, you're born, go die!]

[The events are intricately linked, making them impossible to guard against in the long night.]

[Does the streamer actually eat the products they're promoting?]

"What nonsense are you spouting? Listen to what kind of talk this is!"

"I brought so much stuff. If I eat a bite of everything, will I even have time to eat dinner?"

"what?"

"You're saying the snacks the streamer sells are expensive?"

"Here I'd like to quote a famous saying: Think about whether you've been working hard lately, and whether you've been conscientious in your work..."

After running a few advertisements, Gu Lin'an started streaming King of Glory.

Watching the haters interact on the screen, Gu Lin'an also found it quite enjoyable.

To make up for lost time, they played until 4 a.m. the next day before ending the broadcast.

[This streamer is really dedicated; he's been playing for eight hours straight.]

[And he almost always won in a row, getting MVP. To be honest, I initially started watching him because he was funny, thinking he was an entertainment streamer, but now he's suddenly become a skilled streamer.]

"Brothers, let's get out of here, or we'll really be lying on the floor." Gu Lin'an finished speaking and ended the broadcast at lightning speed.

A wave of drowsiness washed over Gu Lin'an, who yawned, remembering that there was still important business to attend to.

So I logged into my Weibo account, and inspiration struck, so I wrote a short essay.

Hi everyone, this is Changye. I haven't posted any long posts in a while, have you all missed me terribly?

[Recently, the streamer has been diagnosed with a terminal illness called paranoia. He keeps feeling like his wife wants to harm him, so he hasn't been sleeping well for the past few days.]

I finally fell asleep yesterday, but I had a nightmare. In the dream, an old woman was chasing me with a knife.

I ran behind her, and she chased after me, cornering me.

That woman said to me, "Do you know your crime?"

I was completely stunned. I was thinking, I've been diligently streaming lately, peacefully earning money to support myself and my wife. What's wrong with that?

The only sin might be telling the truth.

Just as I thought, that woman said that sometimes, telling the truth is a sin, and then she was about to stab me in the kidneys.

[At that moment, a soul appeared from the knife. I recognized it immediately—wasn't that an old acquaintance?]

I'll never forget the smell he had, and then I was stabbed to death.

Family members, does anyone understand this? I'm going crazy! Please help!

……

After checking it again, Gu Lin'an found no logical or linguistic errors, so he clicked send and waited for the haters to send him anger points.

Three seconds later, in the Weibo comment section.

[Haha, these days, if you don't use your brain, you can't understand An Shen's short essays at all.]

[Oh no, I can't understand An Shen's little essay anymore, what should I do? What does it mean? Have I finally developed a brain?]

[The person on the second floor is clearly not a die-hard fan. To understand this short essay, you'd first need to have watched An Shen's live stream on August 15th.]

I see, it's gotten this advanced now? I'll start catching up now.

[Born into this situation, what are Weibo officials doing? Why aren't they banning me?]

[Damn it, I've been so angry lately that my period is late! I'm so frustrated!]

……