Locking away my heart and love! Going back to 2000 to be a top student again.

Xu Su felt a chill run down her spine at her own analogy. She shrank her neck and shivered. Before she could say anything, Xi Zirong pulled her into his arms again.

"Cold?" He looked at her bare legs, his brows furrowing even more. He opened his suitcase, took out a black coat, and draped it over her legs. "How about you ride in my car tomorrow? We're going to the same place, okay?"

"..." Xu Su wanted to agree, but the thought of Zhou Mochen finding out that she had come here on vacation and actually spent the whole trip with Xi Zirong...

She firmly shook her head: "No, I'll just stick with my own team."

Xi Zirong looked at her silently, and after a few seconds, sighed helplessly: "Okay, then I'll go with your convoy. Su Su, don't refuse this too, or I'll cry."

Xu Su's expression was indescribable: "You know this trick too?"

How come she doesn't remember that Xi Zirong also had the skill of crying and sobbing...?

Isn't this Zhou Mochen's signature style?

Xi Zirong smiled slightly: "There's nothing I can do, you seem to only fall for this trick of mine. By the way, if I told you I've cried a lot, would you come back?"

Xu Su was truly stunned.

What does it mean to have cried many times?

When did he cry so many times?

Xi Zirong seemed determined to soften her heart, disregarding all pride and fearing he might regret it. He quickly took off his coat, revealing a white short-sleeved shirt underneath, and extended it to her.

“Look,” Xi Zirong said calmly, “you almost couldn’t be saved. Isn’t that pitiful?”

There was a very fresh scar on his wrist. The scar was thick and looked like it had only recently healed. The newly grown granulation tissue was pink and tender, and it was clear that the original incision was very deep.

Xu Su grabbed the hand, her mind blank with shock and pain. She was almost speechless for a moment, and it took her a long time to look up and ask, "When did this happen?"

dry, hoarse, and trembling voice…

He was perfectly fine when they last met at the teacher appreciation banquet.

"Don't cry after you go to the capital,"

Xi Zirong raised her hand to wipe away her tears and added, "After you went to the capital with him and stopped replying to my messages, I was so upset that I couldn't control myself. It wasn't intentional. Don't blame yourself; it has nothing to do with you."

Don't blame yourself, it has nothing to do with you...

Xu Su's hands trembled. How could it be unrelated? How could it have nothing to do with her!

She could tell he was gloomy and world-weary at the teacher appreciation banquet, and she could tell something was wrong with him. She wanted to go back and coax him, but she hardened her heart and didn't turn back.

She even argued with Zhou Mochen in front of him, and then took the initiative to kiss Zhou Mochen!

She never considered how the boy, already utterly dejected and nearly world-weary after being abandoned by her, would react to that scene…

She was always the most ruthless to him, never considering his feelings, breaking up with him cleanly and decisively.

So what if he's more outstanding and mature than his peers? He's still only in his teens, and his capacity to handle things isn't limitless...

Guilt and heartache attacked in turn, accompanied by a dull, persistent pain, instantly overwhelming Xu Su's reason.

At this moment, her rationality crumbled, and her mind was filled with Xi Zirong.

Xi Zirong shouldn't be like this.

How could he be so world-weary as to want to die!

He was a well-behaved and upright academic genius, a gentle and kind young man as bright as the moon, the boyfriend who would patiently teach her, hug her with a smile and act coquettishly, and also drag her to the woods to kiss her passionately when he was jealous.

What has she done!

"Don't be like this," Xi Zirong said helplessly, cupping her face in her hands and looking at her face covered in tears. "I don't want you to pity me, Su Su, don't cry."

He himself felt guilty saying those words.

Clearly, when he took off his coat to expose his wound, his thought was, even if it's just out of pity, at least don't abandon him...

He doesn't care about dignity or face anymore. Even if he feels guilty or sympathetic, so what? He doesn't care.

It's good that she can feel sorry for him...

Xu Su was in tears, clinging to him tightly, unable to utter a single word.

What to do... what to do...

Xi Zirong let her hug her, feeling terrible about herself for resorting to such methods…

Use this method!

But so what?

If she didn't do this, why would she be willing to look back at him again?

His eyes were bloodshot as he raised his hand to stroke the hair of the girl in his arms.

The college entrance examination had just ended. If the news of the newly crowned provincial science champion committing suicide over a relationship got out, it would be a huge sensation. Fortunately, Xi's parents kept the news very secret, and none of Xi Zirong's classmates or friends knew about it.

Only Jiang Chusheng, who lives far away in Shanghai, knows about this. Their two families are old friends. When Xi Zirong was a child, she went to school in Shanghai with her parents. The two have a very good relationship and have kept in touch for many years.

Upon learning of this, Jiang Chusheng specially invited Xi Zirong to go on a trip together, just to relax.

Otherwise, Xu Su's identity information would probably be exposed. Even if Zhou Mochen's people control the comments and delete the pictures, anyone who really wants to find out information will know about this.

Xu Su had no time to think about anything else; the lingering fear she felt was all for Xi Zirong.

She dared not think about what she would do if she really received news of Xi Zirong's death in the capital...

What will she do?

Can she still be with Zhou Mochen as if nothing happened?

They will likely live their entire lives in guilt, self-blame, and self-punishment.

She once thought that breaking up with Xi Zirong and getting together with Zhou Mochen was the right thing to do, that it was setting things right and bringing all three of their lives back to their previous trajectory.

She once thought that Xi Zirong could live without her, but Zhou Mochen couldn't; Zhou Mochen couldn't live without Xu Su.

She once thought that everything she did was right, that she was not wrong, and that she was doing it for the good of all three of them.

But now, is she really not wrong?

Xu Su, look at this scar. Ask yourself honestly, are you really not wrong?

It turns out, it was Xi Zirong who truly couldn't bear losing her...

Xu Su looked up blankly, "Do you hate me? Xi Zirong, do you hate me?"

"Why should I hate you?" Xi Zirong sighed, her gaze remaining gentle: "Xu Su, I can only hate myself for not being able to keep you."

"..."

He hasn't changed at all; he's still the same boy with a bit of a 'simp' attitude from when we first met.

Xu Su pursed her lips, feeling troubled and unsure of what to do.

She had to admit that at one point, she did indeed consider breaking up with Zhou Mochen for Xi Zirong's sake.

She didn't want Xi Zirong to become so颓废 and misanthropic...

This time they were saved, but what if next time...?

Xu Su gripped Xi Zirong's hand tightly, buried her face in his chest again, and hugged him tightly.

This is Xi Zirong, this is her Xi Zirong.

She never imagined he would die, never imagined he would try to kill himself because of her departure…

"Don't cry..." Xi Zirong pulled Xu Su's face from her arms, cupped it in her hands, and pressed her forehead against Xu Su's: "I told you this not to see you cry."