The socially awkward villain's furry superpower

“So, I’ve spoken with Sam, the number one henchman, and I think it’s time to recruit more henchmen,” Athena said.

They were in their new home, a bunker beneath the underground passage. It was a bit cold and not very big, and they definitely needed a few more windows, but Athena had no intention of complaining.

The main reason is that it's a hidden bunker with a secret entrance, and the whole place has a super cool style. If someone really complains about living in such an obvious villain's lair, they're either stupid or a complete pushover.

Her sisters didn't complain either.

Teddy took up a room piled high with blankets and pillows, which she called her "bear den," while Athena heard from her older sister Sienna that it was practically a "fire hazard."

Trinity decided to occupy only one room, but also claimed the storage room as her own. She hid all her good stuff in the storage room, and the room was currently... barely clean.

Maple Leaf's room quickly turned into a small workshop, containing some tools and often emitting strange noises.

Athena decided not to go in, because anything that went into Maple Leaf's room was unlikely to come out unscathed.

Athena herself transformed her bedroom into a decent study, filled with many secondhand books and covered the walls with various sticky notes recording information she found useful.

Sam gave her an old laptop, which Athena kept in her room (the battery was dead, and she was too afraid to ask Maple for help) so she could go online and look up all sorts of information about how to become a proper villain.

There wasn't much information available on this topic, so she could only refer to websites about "how to become a hero" and then do the opposite.

In short, Sienna, the eldest sister, had just returned from a day of school. The next day was the weekend, the perfect opportunity to do some villainous things.

“What do you want me to do?” Sienna asked.

“Recruit more minions,” Athena said. “Look, I even made a flowchart for this.”

She took a piece of paper from a small folder she had borrowed from Sienna's school supplies; it had her flowchart drawn on it.

“Look, this is our current situation. We have three important things to do. The first is hugs and family time.” She pointed to this item, which was circled twice. “The second is to carry out basic daily villainous activities.”

“Routine villain activities?” Sienna asked. Athena found her in the kitchen, so she only glanced at the flowchart every now and then, while also keeping an eye on the water that was boiling.

They planned to eat pasta and cheese.

"Yes. Everyday villainous activities. The kind of things Sam does. Blackmail, posting gang signs, extortion, sabotaging heroes' operations. You know, the kind of petty stuff."

Athena pointed downwards and tapped the next item on the list twice.

"The last thing is the real villainous stuff. Like... robbing banks, attacking heroes, giving dark monologues, and kidnapping sexy reporters."

The older woman, holding the cheese bag, stopped moving. "Kidnapping a sexy reporter?" she repeated.

“It’s tradition,” Athena said. “Sexy journalists make up 60 percent of all the heroes’ romantic interests, so it’s normal for villains to want to kidnap them to hurt the heroes as much as possible.”

Sienna nodded as she stirred the contents of the pot. "That makes sense," she muttered, "as long as you don't pair me up with anyone."

Athena made a mental note, intending to look it up later. "Anyway, you spend a lot of your precious time on your daily villainous activities, don't you?"

The older woman turned to look at her, a long wooden spoon dangling from her mouth. "Hmm... It didn't take that long. To be honest, Sam did most of the work."

“That’s because we’re small,” Athena said. “But look how many villains we have! There’s you, me, Teddy, Trinity x3, and now Maple Leaf.”

Add Aleia Iqta to the mix, and I feel she's more like a henchman than a villain.

But anyway, that makes seven! Or at least five, if Trinity is only counted once. Most villainous groups don't start with that many members.

“I think I still hope we’re smaller,” said Sienna, the eldest sister.

“You’re only saying that because routine tasks are troublesome!” Athena said. She grinned, pointing to the next part of the flowchart (what exactly is a flowchart?).

“Look. If we recruit more henchmen, we won’t have to do as much work, which means we’ll spend less time on routine tasks.”

She touched the "Daily Villain Activities" option. "That way I'll have more time for hugs and monologues."

This plan is foolproof.

"But where are we supposed to find henchmen? It's not like I can just put up a job ad in the newspaper."

“I’ve already sent Teddy to look for her,” Athena said, puffing out her chest. “She said she’s very good at persuading people.”

Sienna was stunned. "Where did you send Teddy?"

“Uh, I remember she said she wanted to go somewhere where she could find people who were easy to persuade to join our side.”

“Teddy!” Sienna called out, and unsurprisingly, there was no response. “Oh, no.” She reached out and turned off the stove, then got to work.

The pot started moving too, and Sienna screamed as she caught it as it fell, but a bunch of cheesy noodles still spilled onto the stove and the floor.

She swore a few times and then ran out of the room.

Athena hesitated for a moment, then ran out after her. She saw a Trinity staring at her, then ran into the kitchen, and then heard her gasp: "The food on the floor!"

"Where are we going?" Athena asked.

“Go find Teddy.” The older woman said, pulling her coat off the sofa, quickly putting it on, and then taking out her phone. She stared at the phone for a while, then looked at Athena.

Where is Teddy?

“You don’t need to worry so much, she brought a henchman with her,” Athena said. She… was beginning to realize that she might have messed things up a bit.

Although the eldest sister is a villain, she's very worried about her sisters. That's nice; it warms Athena's heart.

But sometimes they go a bit too far. They can take care of themselves. They're not children, and besides, they're villains!

"A lackey?" the older woman asked. "Which one? Is it Sam? Please tell me it's Sam."

"Uh... no."

"So, Teddy and Aleya Ikta are in town together?"

Athena nodded.

"And she's recruiting new henchmen."

"Yes."

"Where to recruit from?"

"Well, we thought about it for a long time and decided that we should start with those common people who are suitable to be new henchmen."

“The typical type of person?” Sienna asked.

Athena nodded again. "Yes. You know, lonely people, no friends, poor social skills, and extremely anxious. They're perfect candidates to join cults or become henchmen."

The older sister pinched the bridge of her nose. "Where is Teddy going to find these people?"

“This is a difficult problem,” Athena said. In fact, she was quite proud of the solution they had come up with.

“Most of these people probably stay at home, keeping to themselves and trying not to go out, so finding them can be tricky.”

“Please tell me, Teddy isn’t going to go door-to-door asking people to join our… gang,” Sienna said.

Athena snorted. "No, that definitely won't work. She'll take Aleia Ikta to the places those nerds frequent. She'll make good use of his abilities to find those desperate and vulnerable people."

"This...this is not a good thing."

Athena grinned. "I know! I thought of it after seeing something about it on a hero website."

You see, heroes are always looking for these kinds of people, telling them that everything will be alright, and even getting them to do volunteer work and such.

You know, it's all good stuff. But I was thinking, hey Athena, you're so smart, why don't you make it something the villains can do?

We're recruiting so many new henchmen now, you don't even know what to do with them.

Uh... after we finish the orientation process.

Sienna stared at her, then looked at her phone, then back at her. "What's the orientation process?"

“The welcoming process for new minions,” Athena said. “You know it. We invite them all to a secluded spot, then turn on the lights like ‘snap, snap, snap,’ and you sit on the Skull Throne, give a monologue, and they become your new minions.”

"We... have several problems."

“I’ve already sent Trinity to find the skeletons. She’s found six already!”

The eldest sister seems to have given up.

“I’m calling Aleia Ikta. Next time, Athena, before you plan something like this… tell me first. Please. I don’t know how much more of this my heart can take.”