Starting a new chapter in life

Chapter 275 Cheng Xiaoran (Grandma) — 4

Feelings develop over time. After about six months of getting to know Wan Qing, I did find some of the feelings I had before we parted ways, and we got along much better. He was from a poor peasant family with a good social standing.

I told Wan Qing that my brother's family had already left, and asked if I could find a way to cover up our relationship. Wan Qing knew what I was worried about without even asking. He handled it very quickly. At least no problems could be found in the household registration. My parents only have one son and one daughter on the household registration, and I am their only daughter now. Very good, perfect.

In 1951, my grandson Zhijun was born. Jiao Xu and his wife couldn't take care of him, so they sent him to live with me. Since I had some free time, I decided to take care of him. With this child by my side, my days became more and more fulfilling.

The year Zhijun started elementary school marked the beginning of the three most difficult years since the founding of the People's Republic of China, a year of drought and famine. Because my family ran a shop and a cotton mill, we still had a considerable amount of grain stored up. But to be honest, I wasn't that selfless to donate it all.

But I am the descendant of a wealthy merchant, and no one would believe me if I said I had no rice or money. For my own safety and to earn some reputation for my three sons in the army, I gritted my teeth and donated the cotton mill to the government.

With such a huge windfall coming my way, the government will naturally take it. Firstly, I've done my part, and most importantly, my biggest asset has been depleted. Money can be a powerful motivator, so I've essentially bought myself peace of mind.

At that time, anything related to fortune telling and feng shui was resisted, but I still secretly contacted a feng shui master I knew before and asked him to help me look at the year's prospects, mainly because I was unsure of what to expect.

He was originally unwilling to take my job, but I offered too much, and a small goldfish made him make an exception. He told me that the harvest wouldn't be good for at least two or three years, and if possible, it would be safer to prepare four years' worth of supplies.

When I got home, I took stock of all the grains. I prepared enough refined grains for ten people for two years and coarse grains and beans for a year and a half. On the surface, I sold them, but after going around in circles, they ended up back in the basement of my house.

The remaining grain was stored in a warehouse and guarded. I closed all the other grain-related shops, leaving only a few pharmacies and cloth shops. When the government couldn't get any more grain, they turned their attention to us capitalists.

I've always been the most agreeable one. I cried for a while to the young government officials, who were acting like they were old and condescending, about how difficult things had been. I then showed them around my house, especially the grain stored in the granary, and then readily led them to the outer warehouse.

"This year's harvest is truly terrible. This is all the grain I have. You can't expect me to sell it all to the government at a low price; I have to keep some for myself. So, please leave us enough grain for a year."

"The rest, I'll sell to the government at 20% below market price. It's my small contribution as an ordinary citizen. What do you think?" I said it well and readily agreed to the price reduction. The people who came to negotiate were very satisfied.

When the surrounding merchants learned of my actions, several of them, who were on good terms with me, came to inquire about the situation. I analyzed the situation for them: "Times have changed. The current government is essentially proletarian, and they see us as wicked capitalists."

If we're destined to lose our food supply when disaster strikes, it's better to do things amicably now and voluntarily sell our food to the government. That way, we can at least gain goodwill, which is far better than giving away the food but ending up with nothing but a bad reputation – a losing proposition indeed.

Some listened to the advice, went back and tidied up their things, and sold the grain. Others, however, were still waiting to profit from the national crisis. Of course, what awaited them was not good either. None of this concerned me, and I couldn't care less. Living my own life well was more important than anything else.

The three years of natural disasters had a profound impact. Besides the drought and famine, we also had to tighten our belts to repay the loans from our Soviet big brother. The government struggled, and the people suffered. We experienced so much; I was truly terrified.

People came to inquire whether my shops were for rent or sale. I sold all the ones I could, and used the money I kept to buy expensive grain. I had no choice; I didn't expect the famine to last so long. I only kept enough food for one year, and it wasn't even enough for my own family.

Sure enough, no matter when, it's always the case that when you're having a hard time, others feel more at ease. Our neighbors all know about the generous donation my family made back then, and they've been very kind to us, since everyone is struggling.

We finally survived the famine years. By 1961, I was fifty-six years old. I counted on my fingers how old Lao He would be when he retired. I thought that after he retired, I would go and see my older brother. He had been gone for more than ten years, and things should be relatively stable by now.

Unfortunately, man proposes, God disposes. One day, when Old He was sixty, he came home from get off work and looked unwell. I asked him, "What's wrong? You'll be retiring in a few months. Don't argue with these young punks. You need to accept your age."

Wan Qing shook her head: "It's not about work. I received news that there might be a major change at the top. In recent years, there have been both left-leaning and right-leaning policies, and now they're bringing up class background again. I'm worried that you'll be affected."

"I'm already so old, even if it affects me, at most it'll just be my old life. The important thing is not to let it affect the children." I frowned.

“I think we should transfer Jiao Sheng away. His military talent is not low, and the Northwest is a safe place for us right now,” Wan Qing said to me.

I sighed: "Just from hearing about it, I know the conditions there must be terrible. Even though he's not my biological son, he was raised by me for several years. Is there anywhere else where the child won't suffer too much?"

Wan Qing shook his head: "I talked to the old leaders of the military region. Looking at the whole country, only that place goes unnoticed because it's sparsely populated and has few resources. Other places..."

"Have you talked to Jiao Sheng about it? If he goes there, he'll have to bring his wife and children with him. What if they can't handle it? We can't let their family be separated." I really couldn't bear it, but thinking about the chaos of those years during the War of Resistance, I didn't have the confidence to make a decision on my own.

Wan Qing nodded: "He is willing. It's too difficult to climb the ranks here. On the border, it's easier with military merit."

"Take plenty of money and food with you. If the conditions there are too harsh after we confirm the location, we'll have to help out." I may not be good at much else, but I'm very experienced with spending money.

And so, in 1965, the eldest son, He Jiaosheng, was transferred to the Northwest Military Region with his family, and they were separated from each other ever since.

In 1966, things changed drastically. After Wan Qing retired, he took me to the old military cadre sanatorium. Before moving in, I lent my house to the local street office, only asking that they take good care of the house and that the rent be donated to the street office. I thought that with the benefit, they would treat my two houses better.

When I checked into the sanatorium, I mixed the two boxes of small yellow croakers and jewelry and calligraphy and paintings that I had secretly hidden away over the years into my luggage. Wan Qing was very skillful and used wood to surround and sew these things that I dared not show to others, and put them on the bedside table. I must say, even in such a bright place, they really did not attract attention.

The movement began, and while there was widespread panic outside, things were relatively calm inside the sanatorium. Only at the very beginning did the Red Guards come in twice to search the premises, and of course, their movements weren't too blatant.

The people living here are all elderly people with revolutionary backgrounds, so they have a lot of confidence. Well, except for me. But luckily, I'm not that conspicuous, since Wan Qing's identity can withstand scrutiny.

After that, things returned to complete quiet. I didn't dare to go out and ask around. I only learned about the situation outside from Jiao Xu's occasional letters. Zhicheng was in his twenties and had also joined the army, but because his grandmother was a "red capitalist," he still had some influence, making it quite difficult for him to find a wife.

It was the daughter-in-law who made the final decision to marry a girl from the countryside. She only had a primary school education and no job, but the girl herself was quite good. She was hardworking, honest, and obedient, and her family members were all easy to get along with.

Although the two places are not far apart, by the time my wife and I received the letter, the wedding on the other side had already been held. It was just a simple wedding ceremony. Apart from some regrets, everything else was fine. At least Zhicheng's future promotions will no longer be affected by my family background.

In 1968, Zhijun graduated from high school. His father used his connections to get his grandson, who had always been in poor health, into the army. He wasn't suited for combat units, but there were still technical soldiers. As for his future development, that was up to his own abilities. We had already paved the way for him, and we couldn't do much more than that.

Zhijun got a job, but the old man's health wasn't very good either. Although he suffered from some illnesses, he had a good attitude, and we lived a comfortable life in the sanatorium. In 1970, he passed away peacefully.

Jiao Xu and his family came to the nursing home to help me with my husband's funeral arrangements. Seeing my children and grandchildren crying so bitterly, I felt alright. Perhaps it's because I've seen so much death and separation. Aside from feeling a little down, I was fine. At least I felt normal and ate normally.

He would only occasionally say unconsciously when watering the flowers, "Old He, get me some water..." After I realized he could no longer respond, he would just laugh self-deprecatingly, pick up the watering can, and go get the water himself.

Jiao Xu comes back to see me about once every six months. It's not easy for her to come back more than that, and I find it troublesome. I live in a single room by myself, and I have a lot of old friends with me to dance with. I watch the old men play chess, and that makes life less lonely.

I had originally planned to spend the rest of my life in the sanatorium, which would have been quite nice. But then, when Zhijun came back from his university entrance exams, he brought his wife with him. That girl, how should I put it? Her eyes told a story, but she had a good personality, loved to laugh, and was very warm.

She has a completely opposite personality to mine, but she sees things very clearly, unlike what one would expect from someone her age. Many of my ideas are considered unconventional by the general public, but she thinks they're perfectly fine.

We get along well, so when my daughter-in-law brought up the idea of ​​taking me out of the sanatorium again, I was tempted. Living with my granddaughter-in-law didn't seem so bad.

As it turned out, we really got along. I watched the kid busily preparing food, full of energy even though he could only earn a dollar or two a day. His vitality was really wonderful, and it made me, at my age, unable to resist lending a hand and getting some exercise.

Later, she got better and better. She opened a shop, made money, and her family's standard of living remained high. I had never experienced such a simple yet down-to-earth life before. I never thought that I would enjoy it like this in my old age.

She is warm and generous, and she has raised Zhicheng's son very well. It seems like she doesn't manage him much, but a mother is a child's teacher, and her temper can effectively motivate the child. Xiaoli has transformed from a shy, introverted, and somewhat insecure child into a warm and caring boy who has started to smile and talk.

She was kind to everyone around her, but I could also see that there was a piece of ice hidden in her heart. She could give warmth to those around her, but she also needed to receive feedback from them. If one day Zhijun disappointed her, I believe she would leave without looking back. I could see that, but I didn't remind Zhijun.

It's not that I don't love my grandson, but I'm inherently selfish. So why wouldn't I protect Jingyan to some extent? Fortunately, my grandson was mischievous and unreliable when he was young, but he's quite stable in marriage. The couple respects and cherishes each other, which is good.

Later, Jiao Sheng was transferred back the year he retired. After seventeen years apart, this child was still very close to me, with no distance between us. He is a grateful child, worthy of being a descendant of a martyr.

From now on, the two brothers will live close by, so they'll have each other's company. Even if nothing else, at least there will be more fun during holidays and festivals. The joy of having a house full of children and grandchildren has finally made me experience this unique kind of happiness. Thankfully, it's only during the Lunar New Year; otherwise, it would be truly chaotic!

At the age of eighty-seven, I clearly felt the passing of my life. While I was alive, I could enjoy my old age with my grandson, but when I was about to leave, I could not die here. I requested to be buried in Yangzhou, firstly because it was my hometown, and secondly because it would be more convenient to be buried there after my death.

It's only right that my son takes care of me in my old age and sees me off in my final days. I didn't need his help in my old age, but he'll have to take care of me in my final days eventually. In short, I've lived a worthwhile life. I was loved by my parents and brothers when I was young, and I have my children and grandchildren to dote on me in my old age. Except for my eldest brother, who has been gone for many years without any news, everything else has been great.

But I also believe that with my older brother's abilities and wisdom, if he doesn't hold back, he'll definitely live a much better life than me. I won't worry about him anymore; I'm going to find my parents and second brother, and um, Old He too.

Once I get there, everyone will be familiar faces, so I definitely won't be lonely. However, since the He family will be living there from now on, should I change the ancestral grave from the Cheng family's to the He family's? Never mind, that's something the younger generation will have to worry about from now on. It's better to let things rest in peace than to worry about what happens after death. Thinking about all this has made my head spin; I should go to sleep…