Starting a new chapter in life

I've known since I was little that the female elders in my family are different from those in other families. My great-grandmother was a very kind and refined old woman. In my memory, she was never in a hurry. Whether she was doing things or speaking, she was always slow and methodical.

She preferred to wear cheongsams and Chinese-style clothes, each with delicate patterns. When I grew up, I realized that these were embroidery. In the days before machine embroidery, these were all hand-embroidered by embroiderers.

Later, my great-grandmother left all the beautiful, high-quality clothes to my mother. Actually, my mother couldn't wear them; she had a large frame and couldn't fit into my great-grandmother's clothes. But my mother said that these were cultural treasures that could be passed down as family heirlooms. After all, many of the older generation's skills have disappeared with the passage of time.

When I grew up, my mother gave me all of these things. She said that girls don't have to wear exquisite clothes, but they should understand history and its cultural significance, as that is also part of their intelligence.

She always says that appearance is important, but it is also unimportant. First impressions between people are influenced by appearance, but you don't need to be exceptionally beautiful. Just being average is fine. It is the temperament and inner qualities that truly enhance one's appearance.

My great-grandmother is the epitome of this saying. My mother is actually very beautiful, with thick eyebrows, big eyes, a full moon face, and a very cheerful smile. It is said that my father was attracted by my mother's appearance and begged my grandmother to come and propose to me.

But when Mom and Great-Grandma stand together, the first thing people look at is Great-Grandma. She has an extraordinary presence; she looks like she's in a painting just by standing there quietly.

My mother loved my great-grandmother very much, so she learned calligraphy from her. When I was little, whenever I got impatient with practicing calligraphy, I would go to my mother's study to watch. She and my great-grandmother would each occupy one side of the desk and write. Every time she received my great-grandmother's approval, she would smile brightly. Seeing my mother's efforts, I could calm down and go back to my study to write another page.

Thus, when I grew up and became a director, everyone else called me the most talented director, the most handsome director, the most beautiful director, but I was the director with the most classical style. And I am indeed good at shooting palace dramas, able to capture the fleeting beauty of people in the scenery.

My family is a military family. My great-grandfather was a veteran of the Red Army, my grandfather was a regimental commander, and my father was also a technician in the army. My uncle told me that my father was too physically weak, and the regular combat units didn't want him. He couldn't even get in through connections. Fortunately, he was smart, so he was able to get into the technical department and make a living.

I once asked my mom if my dad was unwell, and he overheard and kicked me. You know, as the only girl in the younger generation of the family, I'm definitely the darling of the family. This was the first time I'd ever been kicked. But my dad didn't get away with it either; my mom grabbed his ear and dragged him back into the house. He must have been beaten, I thought maliciously.

Because we come from a military family, we place great emphasis on the physical fitness of our children. Originally, we would all go for a morning run, but after my great-grandfather returned from the Northwest, we changed our morning runs to a combination of running and combat training.

As the youngest and a girl, I had an advantage: I was fighting against the eldest brother, He Ci'en, who was the best fighter among the younger generation.

Fortunately, I've always been one of the strongest kids since I was little. Even though I was the youngest, I never fell behind during training. After practicing with Brother Ci'en, my agility improved and my strength increased.

But usually, my mom still likes to dress me in little floral dresses and make me look very... like a girl. My great-grandmother also said that I should become a refined little lady. In order to make me both a lady and a strong man, my mom seriously explored my artistic talents. I learned to dance and also studied painting, but I learned them as hobbies.

Later, my mother hired a teacher named Mr. Shen, who would stay at home on weekends to teach us special skills. At first, I thought it would be enough to learn just one skill, since there was only one teacher. Who would have thought he was so versatile, skilled in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting? He said he wasn't proficient in any of them, but I realized later that it was just a humble way of putting it.

He can play the guqin and guzheng, and even the pipa. Who can understand the sense of disconnect between a man and the pipa? At first, we were all learning reluctantly, not wanting to waste the effort my mother had put into hiring a teacher. But after learning for a while, we gradually began to appreciate the fun, and naturally, we became more dedicated to learning.

My brothers have excellent grades, and mine are not bad either. Since elementary school, I have been the most talented child in the class. Whenever the school organizes activities and there are performances, I always have a place. For a while, I always thought I was the best.

Unfortunately, this sense of superiority came to an abrupt end in fourth grade when a new girl transferred to our class. She was exceptionally beautiful, possessing a kind of...classical beauty, or something like that. In the adults' words, she looked like a vixen. She sang beautifully, and could also play the piano and dance...

I was always either the opening act or the closing act in the school's performances, but she came and took the opening spot for the very first performance. I was really unhappy about it.

But after comparing us for a while, I finally realized with dismay that she was indeed better than me in every way, which hurt me deeply and made me see her as a thorn in my side.

My unusual behavior was quickly noticed by my mother. She asked me about it, and I didn't hide anything. But my mother said I shouldn't compare myself to others, that there are always people more capable than me, and that there are many people out there who are more outstanding than me. She said my current sense of inadequacy stemmed from my limited perspective.

My mother also said that there's no need to compare yourself to others; comparing yourself to yourself is the most reasonable thing to do. As long as you are better than you were the day before, that's progress. She doesn't care how outstanding I will be in the future; she just wants me not to let myself down.

With my mother's encouragement, I finally took a serious look at myself. I'm actually no worse than anyone else, but I'm too restless and can't stay focused. I will be more diligent in my studies from now on.

As time went on, I not only improved in my studies, but also made significant progress in my special skills. At least I started to play the guzheng and guqin quite well.

Lost in my competitive spirit, I never imagined that my current rival would become my lifelong best friend. Perhaps this is fate?

Later, the tension between Lu Xiaoxiao and me eased considerably. After I invited her to my home, she actually moved in and became my mother's second daughter. And I finally had a close girlfriend with whom I could confide.

The leisurely and smooth days were nice, but unfortunately, the passing of my great-grandmother cast a shadow over our family. My mother was the saddest one, and during that time she completely forgot about us.

I'm also very sad. My great-grandmother loved me the most. She taught me to write and told us stories about her childhood. Now that she's gone, the house feels so much quieter.

The year An'an was admitted to high school, her third aunt's second brother was admitted to university. There were a total of six children in the family. The three older brothers had all been admitted to good universities, which put a lot of pressure on us younger ones.

At least An'an was anxious, spending more time in the study after school. Xiao Xiao and I were even influenced by him to feel a sense of urgency. I went to high school, and An'an went to university. We both had excellent grades, making our family almost a scholarly family on Changxing Island.

In order not to fall behind, we worked even harder after entering high school, but the children all went to study abroad one by one. Aunt Wang was also taken away by her son. Dad only had time to help Mom when he was on vacation or after work. Mom didn't like doing housework, but she had no choice but to do it.

Later, she set new house rules for us. During winter and summer vacations, my brother and I were in charge of the kitchen, while Mom was in charge of cooking and housework during the week. Xiaoxiao wasn't a good cook, so she did the housework on the days when we were in charge of cooking. See, everyone's responsibilities were clearly defined.

In addition to studying, Mom also told us to think about what goals we have for the future. At least having goals and then working hard is more effective than blindly and mechanically studying.

Xiao Xiao wants to be an actress. When we see those characters on TV, we always feel like we could be one too—a strange kind of confidence.

I'm not really interested in professions that require me to be in the public eye, mainly because my looks are just average. I'm definitely not ugly, but I wouldn't call myself pretty either.

With looks like that, you could find one or two anywhere on the street, let alone actresses on TV. I don't have the confidence to compete with her.

As we get older and learn more, I know that with Xiaoxiao's looks, she's likely to become famous but also attract many suitors. We're like sisters, and I'm not entirely comfortable with her facing the entertainment industry alone in the future.

Moreover, I was still quite uncertain about the future. Xiaoxiao suggested that I could work behind the scenes, and that being a female director was a good career choice. I was very confident in my skills and wanted to be a knight protecting a princess, so I followed her and chose film school.

I thought my parents would object to my choice, or at least oppose it, but they didn't. My mother said I'm old enough to be responsible for my own future.

Not only did she not care, she also asked people to help her inquire about the application process. When my classmates found out, they were all envious that I had a mother who fully supported me.

I originally thought it was simple; I didn't feel there was anything to worry about about going to school in Beijing. But after I actually got accepted, my mother not only took us to school, but also bought me a house nearby because she was worried that we might not get along with our classmates and that it would affect our studies.

It's so expensive! Tuition is expensive, equipment is expensive, and the house is the most expensive... When An'an found out, she just clicked her tongue and envied my privilege as a girl.

My mom and aunt helped us settle into the house and then left. Xiaoxiao's house was rented to a classmate. Actually, I was quite attracted to Chu Han's looks at first glance; he's really good-looking. It's a pity, though, that he's not a good person.

Not long after the start of the semester, he used me to fend off unwanted suitors. This kind of spineless man is not someone I can rely on. If it weren't for the fact that he's relatively generous with his money, I wouldn't bother with him at all. But for the sake of making money, I can tolerate it.

University life was peaceful. After all, I didn't take verbal battles to heart. Let people say whatever they want. As for physical fights, I believed that as long as I didn't use dirty tricks, not many of the fake fighters in the school could beat me.

During my junior year of college, my older brother surprisingly came to Beijing and started a media company. By the time I found out, the team was almost fully assembled. My mom said, "Even though we always argue and he never gives in to me, he actually loves me very much."

For my sake, he turned down offers from big companies and worked odd jobs at a film and television company while I was still in college, all to pave the way for me and ensure I wouldn't face any hardships after graduation.

I understand, so I appreciate it. The only way I can repay my brother and family is to work harder. Of course, I still need to maintain good relationships. After graduation, getting some good classmates into my brother's company would be a great asset.

I was very lucky; thanks to Xiaoxiao's debut TV series, I met a great director who was willing to mentor me, and I certainly couldn't let him down. Was it tiring? Of course it was.

Several times I didn't get back to my lodgings until the early hours of the morning. I remember one time, it was raining outside, and I finished work late at night. I was riding my bicycle home, and the empty street was all I had. I felt really wronged at that moment.

As for what I felt wronged about, I don't know. I only remember that I cried that day. Actually, I didn't even know if the water on my face was tears or rain. I think maybe this is something that must be experienced in growing up.

The year I graduated from university, my grandfather passed away. I composed myself and continued learning under Director Liu, while also trying to build a good relationship with him. Even when I achieved great success, I still didn't quite understand...

When Director Liu agreed to take me on, was it because he saw my potential as a director or because of my cooking skills? All I know is that as long as I brought food and drinks to work, Director Liu was always very kind and friendly to me.

My first independently directed documentary was about local customs, culture, and cuisine. Before that, I had worked as an assistant director on at least five TV series before finally getting the opportunity to direct independently.

That's because I have connections. After all, it's my brother's company, and I can't afford to waste the back channels I can use. Plus, I have travel advice from my mom after taking my grandma on a trip around the country. This topic is practically a freebie for me.

The more confident I was when I took the plunge, the more I regretted it during the actual filming.

It's unimaginable that many scenic spots with rich historical stories are not easily accessible. Luggage, photography equipment, costs, personnel... all these aspects need to be considered.

I thought I had already been very careful with my money, but in the middle and later stages, I still had to ask An An for money because of insufficient funds. He transferred the money twice more before the filming was finally completed.

I endured a lot of hardship, but the results were quite good. As my first representative work, it was actually selected by CCTV. Although it wasn't during prime time, being chosen is still an honor.

An'an's company also came into the spotlight of its peers in Beijing because of this documentary, and I finally felt a sense of accomplishment beyond the hard work. It was this feeling that gave me more confidence to persevere in this industry.

After truly entering the industry, I am very fortunate to have the support and foresight of my family, which enabled me to achieve success in such a short period of time. For those film and television professionals without background or connections, it is really too difficult to make a name for themselves.