System: After the fortune telling, my cultivation level skyrocketed.

"Ding, Yu Libao has received 3000 yuan."

Immediately afterwards, 'My Wife Is Tight - Mr. Zhang' came on the microphone.

The live stream chat exploded after the screen split in two.

[Haha, looks like this guy's wife is really tight-lipped. Look at those dark circles under his eyes, they rival the panda in my backyard!]

[I've been staying up all night for a month and my dark circles aren't as bad as his. Dude, even if your wife is an ageless beauty, you still need to take it easy; your life is more important.]

[Spring is here and flowers are blooming: I'm so envious! My husband comes home and falls asleep the moment his head hits the pillow. I'm practically a widow now.]

[Judging from the grandma's username upstairs, she must be in her early fifties. No wonder the older brother fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.]

The saying "Thirty is like a wolf, forty like a tiger, fifty can suck up dirt while sitting on the ground" isn't just a saying, is it?

Oh, my eyes, my eyes...

……

The various people showing off their driving skills in the live stream made Chen Xuan feel embarrassed.

He could only cough once in response to Mr. Zhang, who was speaking into the microphone.

Before Chen Xuan could even ask, Mr. Zhang, his face contorted in misery, said in a weak voice, "Daoist, Daoist Master, save me! I feel like I'm being drained dry—"

His silly expression, combined with his two panda-like dark circles under his eyes, made even Chen Xuan laugh uncontrollably.

"Could you explain what happened in detail?" Chen Xuan asked.

The two consecutive deductions without being asked left Chen Xuan, who lacked cultivation and spiritual power, somewhat fatigued.

This time, I might as well let the other party talk first, since the viewers who are still in the live stream trust him anyway.

After he finished speaking, Mr. Zhang nodded.

"My name is Zhang Wei, Zhang as in Da Zhang Wei, and Wei as in Wei Ge. Here's what happened..."

As Zhang Wei recounted his thrilling personal experiences, many male viewers in the live stream exclaimed, "Let me do it!"

It turns out that Zhang Wei and his wife Xia Xia were a newlywed couple who had been married for less than three months. They met while working part-time in college, met each other's parents after graduation, and were very satisfied with each other, so they smoothly entered into marriage.

Because both families are from rural areas and the young couple didn't have much initial capital, they agreed to wait two years before having a child.

They were living a very happy and fulfilling life.

Zhang Wei's parents were eager to have a grandson, so they kept urging him to have one. Xia couldn't resist her mother-in-law's persuasion and told Zhang Wei about it. As the male protagonist, Zhang Wei thought further ahead and firmly disagreed, which led to a bit of an unpleasantness between the two.

In Zhang Wei's view, this was a small matter, but his wife gradually became abnormal, pestering him for money every day.

At first, Zhang Wei only felt back pain, but gradually he began to feel powerless at work. In the end, he almost ruined a big order and was nearly fired by the company because of this incident. In order to earn more money, Zhang Wei, in a fit of anger, temporarily slept in separate rooms from Xia.

From the very first day they started sleeping in separate rooms, Zhang Wei began his ecstatic, nocturnal emission experience.

Every night, as soon as he falls asleep, he'll be having sex with all sorts of girls. The realism in his dreams is just like reality; it even makes him pulsate.

At first, Zhang Wei felt very excited when he woke up, since his dream was filled with all sorts of big stars he liked.

But as he experienced nocturnal emissions and had these dreams every day, Zhang Wei began to feel overwhelmed.

Two weeks later, that morning he got up for work as usual, but it took him a lot of effort to get up, and his vision was so dark it was terrifying.

The family was terrified by this incident and started taking people to various hospitals, including Harmony Hospital.

But it's no use.

Even a renowned traditional Chinese medicine doctor with fifty years of experience in tonifying the kidneys was helpless, and bluntly said: "Go back and eat whatever you want, prepare for your funeral."

Now, even during a few seconds of daytime nap, Zhang Wei dreams of clapping and ejaculating with various girls, and he really can't hold on any longer.

As Zhang Wei finished his weak narration, the nearly 70,000 viewers in the live stream chat fell into a deathly silence.

Immediately afterwards, a barrage of comments swept in like a tidal wave.

Brother, you're 18 meters tall! [Holy crap, is this even possible?]

My brother sits cross-legged three or four times; [Does he think he can clap with someone during the day and then dream about it at night?]

Empty-nest college student; [Damn, I've been single for 34 years, how come I've never had this kind of good fortune?]

Big secret: My wife; [Wow, if it's true, then... the whole entertainment industry will be in for a world of trouble!]

What the hell is the entertainment industry? I'll just smash through the anime world!

Yunyun is my wife; [I directly slaughtered my way through all the major novels and the four perfect beggars, hehehehe...]

Me too! Oh my god, I can't believe such a good thing exists in the world?!

Brother Zhang, I urge you to confess how you contracted this disease. Please infect me quickly; I'd rather die than not have it.

[Ugh, disgusting. How could such a thing exist in this world? I don't believe it... I don't believe it.]

[650cm bust, waist, hips: Luckily I'm not a celebrity, otherwise he would have insulted me (double-armed Heaven-Turning Seal) Humph!]

[I think this guy is bragging. I've never even heard of something like this before.]

……

Faced with countless questions from viewers in the live stream, the weakened Zhang Wei was powerless to refute them. He could only look at Chen Xuan with pleading eyes.

"Master, everything I've said is true. If I tell even one lie, I'll immediately die from exhaustion."

Chen Xuan's lips twitched upon hearing this.

"You really dare to say that. If it had been any later, you would have really died from exhaustion."

Now, every word Chen Xuan says is convincing.

Sure enough, as soon as he said that, everyone in the live stream chat asked question marks.

"Taoist Master, do you believe what I'm saying?"

Zhang Wei was almost in tears.

In the past, when I told others about my illness, they either thought I was a freak or that I had terminal delusions.

Chen Xuan nodded, "Given the extent of your Yang energy loss, it's certainly not caused by an ordinary illness."

"Master, what exactly is wrong with me?"

Zhang Wei looked dejected. "I've never offended any powerful figures, have I?"

This time, Chen Xuan unusually asked Zhang Wei for his birth date and time, as well as the birth date and time of his wife, Xia.

Viewers in the live stream who witnessed this scene also felt that what Zhang Wei encountered must be something serious.

Because the previous two Chen Xuans both got straight to the point.

This time, however, the calculation is based on the couple's birth dates and times. How could it not be amazing?

After obtaining the birth dates and times of the two individuals, Chen Xuan began to count on his fingers.

As Chen Xuan calculated, he was slightly shocked and blurted out the answer subconsciously.

"No wonder it seemed like looking at flowers through a fog at first glance, now I understand..."

It's worth noting that Chen Xuan handled the previous two strange occurrences with complete nonchalance.

This time, Chen Xuan not only frowned but also muttered something under his breath.

Viewers in the live stream also made various speculations.

[Holy crap, what's going on? Has something really serious happened?]

[No way! When the Taoist priest was telling Ninth Brother's fortune just now, he didn't even frown. What's going on now? Could it be that Zhang Wei has someone even more powerful backing him?]

[I'm so nervous, surely I can't even handle a Taoist priest?]

[Could it be a powerful fox spirit? Is the Taoist priest also afraid of falling for her trap?]

If even the Taoist priest can't handle this, then we'll have to go directly to the Purple-Robed Celestial Master at Longhu Mountain, right?

……

The comments section was full of various speculations, which made Zhang Wei's face turn pale.

Given his current physical condition, how could he possibly make the long journey to Longhu Mountain?

About ten seconds later, Chen Xuan lowered his left hand and slowly opened his eyes.

"Master, if you can't cure my illness either, do I really have to go to Longhu Mountain?"

Chen Xuan said expressionlessly, "If even I can't manage it, then your trip to Longhu Mountain will be in vain."

"Huh?" Zhang Wei was stunned.

"Master, what's wrong with me?"

Chen Xuan pondered for a moment and then said to the live stream audience and Zhang Wei, "You've all heard the term 'ascending to the ranks of immortals,' right?"

Zhang Wei nodded, and the live stream chat responded with a barrage of comments.

"If a person cultivates the Tao and achieves success, he/she can be listed among the immortals, which is commonly known as ascending to heaven after death."

Chen Xuanlian said, "There is also such a saying in reincarnation. For example, in ancient times, it was said that the Ziwei star, Wenqu star, and Wuqu star descended to earth. These are all recorded, ranked, and ordered."

Zhang Wei was a little confused. "Taoist Master, what does this have to do with me, an ordinary commoner, having a wet dream?"

“It has nothing to do with you, but it does have something to do with your son.”

Chen Xuan said, "Your future son is destined to be reincarnated and will come to your family. However, some powerful figures in certain families are vying for your son's place, which is why they send their descendants to harass you every night, causing you to lose your fertility and take your place."

If it weren't for his two previous experiences, Chen Xuan would have been roasted to death by the 60,000 viewers in the live stream if he had said that.

Zhang Wei was completely dumbfounded after hearing this. "Huh? So, I've been set up, and all those people who came to see me at night were all sorts of ghosts?"

Chen Xuan didn't point it out. He nodded first and then said, "To be precise, it's not floating, but various immortals, uh, no, it's the descendants of those immortals."

Hearing Chen Xuan's words, Zhang Wei felt disgusted. So the people he had been partying with every night were descendants of various immortals?

Meanwhile, the live stream chat room had already exploded with excitement.

【Taoist Master, you're getting more and more outrageous!】

【Master, although we trust you, please don't go too far. We're all adults here!】

Wow, according to the Taoist priest, Zhang Ge's future son is going to be a big shot!

[Haha, what era are we living in? There's still talk of ascending to immortality? Nonsense, I'm outta here.]

[Taoist priest, is Brother Zhang's future son going to be the emperor?]

……

Seeing that the comments in the live stream were getting more and more outrageous, Chen Xuan said something that made countless netizens grit their teeth.

"As the saying goes, heavenly secrets cannot be revealed, cannot be spoken of, and cannot be heard."

[Secrets of Heaven my ass! If there were any secrets of heaven, wouldn't you have revealed them long ago?]

P___

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