Traveling through time and space.

Chapter 9: Consolidating the Land of No-Searching and No-Seeking—"Securely Maintaining the State of Meditation and Diligently Breaking the Bonds of Greed and Anger"

As the bells of the ancient temple in ancient India echoed melodiously, time passed quietly, and I tried to take root and consolidate in the state of practice where there was no place to seek or be watched.

The first rays of morning sunlight shone upon the golden ceiling of the temple's main hall, radiating a sacred glow. I sat cross-legged in my meditation room, beginning a new day of meditation. In this quiet moment, I delved deeply within, as if holding a clear mirror, carefully examining my thoughts in the state of no-seeking and no-attending. I realized that despite my enlightenment, a subtle lingering trace of attachment and pride still lurked, like a shadow. Whenever I gained a moment of realization in my practice, a sense of complacency would inevitably arise, craving praise and recognition from others. I also harbored a lingering desire for the tranquility and sublime experience of this state of no-seeking and no-attending, fearing loss. I knew that if I didn't completely eradicate these thoughts, my spiritual path would be hindered. Therefore, with unwavering perseverance, I applied the wisdom of the Dharma to analyze and resolve each thought as it arose, transforming attachment and pride into compassion for all beings and a deeper reverence for the Dharma.

As my practice progressed, the temple welcomed a distinguished monk from afar—Master Zhixian. He had traveled extensively, was well-versed in various Buddhist texts, and possessed a profound and unique understanding of the Yogacarabhumi Sutra. Upon hearing of his arrival, I was filled with joy and anticipation, knowing this was a rare opportunity for spiritual advancement. With reverence, I reached out to visit him and requested to study Buddhism with him. Master Zhixian's gaze, kind and profound, readily agreed.

In the days that followed, we often sat together in the temple's Sutra Library for discussions. Surrounded by rows of ancient sutras, the scent of ink etched with time passed. I confided to the master my confusion and insights from the practice of the state of no-seeking and no-attending, and he addressed my questions with his vast knowledge and rich experience. He pointed out that while the state of no-seeking and no-attending transcends gross discriminatory thoughts, it still requires meticulous refinement, like polishing a precious gem, removing all imperfections to reveal its full brilliance. He recounted many stories of the trials and breakthroughs faced by ancient monks in this state, which were deeply inspiring. In my in-depth discussions with the master, I absorbed Buddhist wisdom like a sponge, my understanding of the state of no-seeking and no-attending deepened, and my spiritual attainments unnoticed were further elevated.

However, the path to spiritual practice is never easy. The temple decided to hold a multi-day meditation retreat, aiming to allow practitioners to transcend themselves through deep meditation and realize the higher meanings of Buddhism. I resolutely signed up, yearning for and pursuing a higher state of mind, and a female practitioner also joined me.

The retreat room was small and silent, with only a single Buddha statue for company. As my retreat deepened, I gradually entered a profound state of meditation. Within this state, I encountered an unprecedented test from a demonic realm. Terror surged like a tide, drowning me in endless darkness. I seemed to see all my past mistakes and sins reappear before my eyes like ghosts. Accusations and ridicule echoed in my ears. I was filled with doubt and anxiety about my future practice, and even began to question whether I was truly qualified to embark on this path.

The female practitioner I was in retreat with was similarly mired in a demonic realm. Various visions appeared in her meditation room: the pleading pleas of her loved ones and the allure of worldly pleasures, attempting to draw her back from her spiritual path. But through our shared faith and unwavering belief in the Dharma, we found a deep resonance and support in each other. In my own meditation, I strove to calm my mind, visualizing the compassion and wisdom of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas bestowing upon me. I also silently prayed for her, dedicating the merits of my practice to her, hoping she would overcome the demonic barriers. The woman, too, persevered through her predicament, reciting scriptures with devotion, attempting to dispel the darkness of the demonic realm with the light of wisdom found within.

During this difficult time, we felt a tacit understanding. I felt her struggle, and she sensed my efforts. Within our separate meditation rooms, we felt like warriors fighting side by side. Finally, through shared faith and unwavering effort, we both successfully broke through the troubles of the demonic realm, our hearts becoming stronger and purer.

During this period of retreat, gossip began to circulate within the temple. Some believed that romantic relationships were forbidden during spiritual practice and that our relationship was a blasphemy against the Dharma. Others, jealous of our friendship, deliberately sowed discord behind our backs. These rumors reached my ears, leaving me deeply distressed and torn. On the one hand, I worried that these rumors would hurt her, and on the other, I was afraid that this relationship would violate the precepts of spiritual practice and affect my progress.

After emerging from retreat, I immediately sought her out. We found a quiet forest on the hillside behind the temple, surrounded by the gurgling stream and the crisp chirping of birds. I looked into her eyes and honestly shared my inner struggles during the retreat and my concerns about our relationship. She gently held my hand, her eyes filled with determination and deep affection: "Brother, our relationship is born from our shared pursuit of the Dharma and our compassion for all beings. As long as we remain true to our hearts and unswayed by worldly prejudices and desires, we can transform this love into a force for spiritual practice and together advance toward higher realms." Her words flowed like a stream of pure water, dissolving my inner conflict and pain. We pledged to be even more rigorous in our future practice, guiding our relationship with the wisdom of the Dharma, supporting each other, and jointly exploring the deeper realms of the realm, practice, and fruition as outlined in the Yogacarabhumi Sutra.

As my relationship with the nun blossomed, my life as a monastic in the temple also faced new conflicts of interest. The temple boasted a sacred garden, home to a variety of precious herbs and flowers, a vital resource for medicinal preparation and offerings to the Buddha. The temple elders appointed me as the garden's guardian, responsible for its care and management. However, this appointment resented some of the monks. One of them, Bharata, had long coveted the position, believing it would bring numerous benefits, including a say in the distribution of medicinal herbs, greater opportunities for interaction with the outside world, and access to precious spiritual artifacts.

Bharata began to operate covertly within the temple, attempting to rally some monks to pressure the elders to reassign the position of garden guardian. In public areas like the temple's dining hall and corridors, he spread rumors that I was selfish in my management of the garden, appropriating precious herbs for my own practice or exchanging them for personal gain. These rumors spread, and many monks, unaware of the truth, began to harbor suspicion and resentment towards me. I sensed these undercurrents, but I didn't let them cause me to harbor resentment or panic. I knew this was yet another test of my practice, a test of whether I could truly maintain inner peace in the state of no seeking and no watching, unperturbed by external distractions.

I decided to take the initiative and peacefully resolve the situation. I invited Bharata and the monks who had expressed doubts about me to the garden. In front of them, I explained in detail the uses and cultivation methods of each herb and flower in the garden, as well as my daily management responsibilities. I showed them the garden's accounting records, demonstrating that all resources were properly used and allocated without any selfish motives. I also spoke with the compassion and wisdom of the Buddhist teachings, explaining the importance of safeguarding temple resources and the importance of rejecting greed, hatred, and delusion in practice. My sincerity and openness gradually touched them, and Bharata realized his mistake and looked ashamed. He apologized, saying that jealousy had driven him to these inappropriate actions. I generously forgave him and hoped that he would correct his mistakes in his future practice.

After this series of trials and growth, my spiritual attainment in the state of no-searching and no-attending has steadily improved. I have gained a deeper understanding of the meaning of the state, practice, and fruition as expounded in the Yogacarabhumi Sutra. Regarding the state, I have gained a more refined experience of the tranquility and emptiness of the state of no-searching and no-attending, and am now able to maintain a constant inner clarity and tranquility in my daily activities. Regarding the practice, I have learned how to apply Buddhist wisdom to cope with various inner troubles and external interferences. Whether it is greed, pride, fear, doubt, or interpersonal disputes and conflicts of interest, I can resolve them with firm faith and compassion. Regarding the fruition, the fruits of my practice are reflected not only in my own advancement, but also in my ability to inspire and help other practitioners through my experiences, like lighting a bright lamp in the darkness, guiding them on their spiritual path.

Today, standing in the temple courtyard, gazing at the majestic Buddha Hall and lush trees, my heart is filled with anticipation and confidence for the future of my spiritual practice. I know that many more challenges and opportunities await me. I will continue to build upon the foundation of the state of non-seeking and non-stalking, striving to ascend to higher realms of practice. In this journey of spiritual joy and wisdom, I will continue to explore the profound mysteries of the Yogacarabhumi Sutra, spreading the compassion and wisdom of the Dharma to even more sentient beings.