Absolute Zone Zero: I survive in Liufen Street

Why do you desire death...

"...Maybe I've been sick for too long, so even my heart is sick." Bai Yu placed his hand on the spot where his heart should be. "I thought if I had a healthy body, this disease wouldn't come back."

"How could that be? Xiaobai has always been working so hard." Fu Fu was surprised and puzzled.

"It's because I work so hard to live that I'm so tired," Bai Yu said with a wry smile. "Every day when I open my eyes, I have to face a heavy body, a handful of bitter pills, bland meals, and arms covered in needles.

Every breath is filled with the smell of disinfectant. In order not to worry my loved ones, I have to raise the corners of my mouth and say to everyone with a smile, "I'm fine. I'm fine. It's okay."

Then at night, with unspeakable dull pain, I tossed and turned for a long time before I could fall into a light sleep..."

"noob……"

There are some things that I normally have no reason to say, but once I open my mouth, they all flow out naturally.

"I hate the smell of hospitals; I hate the feeling of needles piercing my skin; I hate taking medicine; I hate being examined over and over by doctors; I hate those bills; I hate the strange looks people give me when they see my hair and eyes..." Bai Yu took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

He curled up his legs and hugged them, resting his forehead on his knees. His voice was muffled, like the self that had been suppressed for years. "I really am trying very hard to live, because I promised my mother.

This life just repeats itself, with no end or hope in sight. It's so tiring...

So I don’t know when one sleepless night, the voice that tempted me to give up appeared in my ears and took root in my heart.

When I was sick, she told me: "Give up, give up." It was so painful, and you knew no matter how much you tried, it wouldn't get better.

When I saw my father, aunt, younger brother, and sister, a family of four standing together, I said, "Look, you're the extra one. Your father actually doesn't need you anymore..."

I have climbed onto the windowsill in the middle of the night and pointed the knife at myself several times.

But every time this happens, the images of my father and mother appear before my eyes.

If I die like this, my mother will definitely be very disappointed in me.

My father would then fall into self-blame and pain for not taking good care of me.

Thinking this way, I let go again and again.

Actually, now that I think about it, I might have had a hint of longing when I first opened the door.

If I really die while doing something righteous, even if my father will be sad for a while, when he thinks of me later, he will be proud of having such a son. "

"..." Fu Fu didn't know how to comfort Bai Yu. The Bai Yu she knew was always gentle and strong. No matter what the situation, he could quickly calm down and respond.

It's like a seed buried under thick soil, solid on the outside, waiting to break through.

But at this moment, the strong shell opened a crack for Fu Fu, allowing her to see that the real Bai Yu had already shriveled up and was about to wither in the hopeless waiting day after day.

Fu Fu's figure reappeared in front of Bai Yu. She pulled open the quilt and wrapped Bai Yu and herself, imitating the starlight of Bai Yu's consciousness that wrapped the data body in his sea of ​​consciousness when the system was uncomfortable in the morning.

Then, in the warm and dim quilt barrier, Fu Fu held Bai Yu's head and continued to listen quietly.

"Fu Fu, do you know what I like most about the new Elliot?" Bai Yu felt the weight of the quilt and Fu Fu's body. The soft warmth was like tender buds sprouting in spring. He gently but firmly pushed away the heavy stone that was pressing on Bai Yu's soul.

“That’s my hair and eyes, which are pretty common colors here.

I can walk down the street openly, and no one will look at me strangely because of my appearance.

"When I first walked along Liufen Street, I felt so free that I felt like I was flying," Bai Yu said with a chuckle, his mind flashing back to himself as he jumped around. "It felt like a dream."

But at the time, I didn't feel like I had truly survived. It didn't matter whether I could actually continue to live, I just didn't want your efforts to go to waste. Sorry, Fufu.

If all this is just a fantasy before death, then it is also happiness."

"It's not a fantasy. Doesn't Xiaobai already know it?" Fu Fu said sullenly.

"Yes, I was very lucky to meet Susan on the second day of my journey. She made me understand the reality of this world.

It also made me realize that my persistence in surviving is meaningful.

My mother said that what I expect and desire can only be realized if I live, and that at the end of "despair" there is a thing called "miracle".

She didn't lie to me!

Fufu, you are my miracle! You make all my struggles meaningful.

Thank you. "

"... Stupid Xiaobai. The meaning of struggling to survive isn't some miracle that falls from the sky.

"It's the possibility of meeting the one you love in the future!" Fu Fu said with a trembling voice, crying. "Your existence is the miracle itself.

If it weren't for your persistence and struggle, I wouldn't have met you, and everyone waiting to meet you in the future would not know how important a treasure they have lost.

It's me who should thank you.

Thank you... for not giving up even though it was so painful.

Thank you for letting me meet you."

Bai Yu released his hands from around his legs and pulled back the blanket covering them. The warm and bright sunlight streamed through the window onto both of them.

Bai Yu held Fu Fu's tear-stained face and wiped her tears. He looked into Fu Fu's eyes and said seriously and gently, "Why are you crying so quietly this time? You usually cry loudly.

I'm sorry to let you know that I'm such a coward.

Are you disappointed in me?

I actually know that such extremely negative thinking is wrong.

My life is not only full of pain, but also happiness, and my family loves me.

But happiness and pain never increase or decrease at the same time. They can coexist and pull me down together.

And I had been sick for too long, and even my heart became sick.

It’s like a traveler who has been walking in the snow for a long time and can’t see the direction to go.

A frozen body cannot get better just by persisting. It needs a warm environment and medicine.

And now, I have a new direction, and the motivation and reason to keep going.

I'm sorry, Fufu, that you felt my pain. Thank you for sharing my honest thoughts.

Perhaps I have been suppressing my emotions for too long today, so you found an opportunity to take advantage of me when I was afraid and blaming myself. I promise you that there won't be a next time.

Please give me some more time, I will "heal" myself. Trust me again, okay?"

The bright sunshine gave Bai Yu a golden outline, and his red eyes were filled with tenderness and stubbornness. He was cautiously looking forward to and waiting for Fu Fu's answer.

"I don't believe you! You big liar! You just want to trick me." Fu Fu threw herself into Bai Yu's arms and hugged him tightly. She said loudly: "I will definitely keep a close eye on you from now on! Don't even think about giving up on yourself! I won't give you another chance to be negative.

I'll find you a psychiatrist right away. I'll also read some books on human psychology."

"Ah, there's no need to go to such lengths." Bai Yu patted Fu Fu's back and said helplessly, "Forget about the psychiatrist. This kind of treatment requires honesty and trust in the doctor. For me right now, neither of those things are possible."

"Then I will learn it myself! I will definitely be able to learn it!" Fu Fu swore fiercely.

"...I'm just afraid that you'll fail in your studies." Bai Yu muttered softly.

Humans themselves cannot even understand themselves, let alone a race like the system, which has completely different life characteristics.

Bai Yu prayed for Fu Fu in his heart in advance, hoping that when she was studying, she would not short-circuit her systematic thinking logic.

"What did you say!?" Fu Fu let go of Bai Yu and glared at him fiercely.

"Nothing, I mean, Fu Fu was really amazing today, she actually tricked me." Bai Yu's guilty eyes wandered and he changed the subject.

"Hmph! They said the system has been upgraded! What do you think it was?" Fu Fu snorted, letting Bai Yu go, and continued the conversation. "My operating speed is much faster. Otherwise, how could I justify the daily consumption of the system upgrade?"

"So, this is true, not bad, it's a lie using mixed true and false information. I won't be afraid of you being cheated by others in the future." Bai Yu praised very enthusiastically.

"Hey? There's no fake news. Everything I said is true." Fu Fu tilted her head and said innocently.

“…Then, we only have less than one day’s worth of energy left…” Bai Yu took a breath and asked in a dry voice.

"That's true!" Fu Fu nodded affirmatively. "The only reason I lied was that I felt sleepy and returned to my original form.

Because I knew I couldn't control my emotions and was afraid of being discovered by Xiaobai, so I went back. The rest of the information is true."

"...System, disconnect from reality."

"Wait a minute!!!"

Small Theater

Fu Fu: I will definitely learn psychology knowledge and cure Xiao Bai! !

After reading psychology books.

Full marks in science, zero in humanistic understanding. Fufu: …I recognize all the characters, so why can’t I understand them when they’re all written together?! Do I need to crack the code, or use a formula to figure it out?!

Bai Yu: Hahahaha.