Ji Xiaolan: Kill Qianlong at the beginning

Su Qinglian raised her head and said, "Your Excellency can say this, which shows that you are not an ordinary person."

He Shen said, "Thank you, young lady. This is the first time in my life that someone has spoken of me in this way."

After saying this, he smiled slightly, feeling very relieved, and continued: "Everyone says that I abuse my power to make money, that I am an unlearned person, and that I only rely on currying favor with the emperor."

Su Qinglian said, "I'm afraid that may not be the case."

He Shen said: "The one who understands my heart is Miss Su."

After saying this, he started walking. "Thinking back to when Heshen and I were children studying in the palace. Oh, it sounds good, but in reality, it was ten years of hardship, and we were extremely poor, constantly looked down upon. When I was in my twenties, I was favored by the emperor and rose rapidly in a few years, from a third-class guard to a minister of military affairs, then the Minister of Revenue and concurrently in charge of the Imperial Household Department, and even entered the cabinet as a Grand Secretary. Oh, could I have done that just by currying favor? The current emperor is not foolish at all."

Su Qinglian said, "Yes, if you are good at handling affairs and managing finances, you need to be feared and admired, and of course you will be criticized."

He Shen smiled and said, "Young lady, you are absolutely right. Moreover, the most important thing is that everything should be done to please the emperor. With all due respect, serving the emperor is like serving a tiger."

Su Qinglian said, "It's really not easy."

He Shen said, "Miss, you are absolutely right."

He sat down and continued, "It's really not easy. Life is like a play, and everyone plays a role on the stage. So you have to say the words you should say, sing the tune you should sing, and move your body the way you should move. When you are happy, you have to laugh out loud, no matter how sad you are. When you need to cry, you really have to wipe away your tears, no matter how happy you are. Why? The role controls you."

Su Qinglian said, "So, your life is even more miserable than us poor women?"

He Shen nodded and said, "It can be said that those who are truly miserable are good because they know they are miserable. So if they get a little bit of sweetness, they will be very happy. But it is not the same for me. I can no longer distinguish between suffering and happiness, and I can no longer distinguish between truth and falsehood."

Su Qinglian said, "This confession to the Lord must be the same?"

He Shen was stunned when he heard this and said, "Thorough, really thorough."

Recalling something, he continued, "Young lady, there's a wonderful book called The Red Chamber. In it, there's a couplet that goes like this: 'When the false becomes true, the true becomes false; when the non-existent becomes the existing, the existing becomes non-existent.' In fact, truth and falsehood, existence and non-existence, suffering and happiness, life and death, are inherently entangled."

Su Qinglian said, "Now I can learn Taoism and discuss Zen with you, sir."

He Shen smiled upon hearing this and said, "Young lady, please don't make fun of me. I am a person that even gods and Buddhas don't accept. I am just talking about my life experience."

For some reason, Su Qinglian thought of Mo Li and said, "But I wonder how you compare to Mo Li who came that day?"

He Shen was about to think about it when Su Qinglian said, "Don't think about it, just say it."

He Shen said, "Okay, I'll be frank. He is more talented than me, I am more capable than him, I am more wicked than him, he is faster than me, I often lose in arguments, but when it comes to doing things..."

Su Qinglian volunteered to help and added, "He can't take advantage of anything."

He Shen was very happy when he heard this and said, "Miss Su has a keen eye, really a keen eye, hahahaha..."

Su Qinglian said, "I already understand your intentions, sir."

"Don't be impatient, young lady. I haven't finished yet," Heshen raised his right hand. "I just said that there is not much so-called sincerity left in me. On the other hand, there is still a little bit, although it is no longer clear, but I especially want to keep this little bit of sincerity. How should I put it, young lady..." After saying that, he stood up.

Su Qinglian listened quietly.