After rebirth, I gave up Bai Yueguang

On the 15th day of the seventh lunar month, the night air was thick with the scent of money. Piles of burning coins danced by the river, their ashes transforming into black butterflies with wings rimmed in gold. Swarms of them spun and danced above people's heads, eerie yet not gloomy, creating a spectacular spectacle in the night.

Su Jing's lips curled up into a helpless smile. Life is like this. God will never let people get what they want. If time could go back, if there was a pill to regret, if everything could be done over again, how wonderful it would be! But, if there really is such a thing as if, is now still now?

A sudden chill swept through the sky, darkening the once clear sky. The stars and moon, reflecting off the firelight on the ground, vanished in an instant. Su Jing shuddered. The weather, like life, was always unpredictable. She glanced at her phone. It was almost midnight. She should get back home. This day should still be treated with a certain amount of reverence.

Su Jing stomped on the ashes of the paper money on the ground, kicking them away, and walked back to the path she had come from. After a few steps, a flash of lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the suddenly dark night sky. Then, thunder roared, and Su Jing stumbled, falling into the river.

"bang bang bang"

"Su Jing, Su Jing"

Su Jing hummed, her eyes half asleep.

"bang bang bang"

A few more hard knocks caused the table beneath his arm to vibrate. Su Jing suddenly raised her head, opened her eyes, and sat up straight, finally waking from her doze.

Huo Ran was met with a large, greasy round face, featureless facial features, and a head of messy hair that hadn't been washed for a long time, as well as a faint unpleasant smell caused by insufficient cleanliness.

"Who is this?" Su Jing was a little confused. "Math teacher? Hmm, I'm dreaming." Just as she was about to close her eyes and continue, her gaze was suddenly locked on a figure not far away.

Jiang Yi!!

This figure, only if it turned into ash, would she not recognize it. No matter where he walked, no matter how many people were around, as long as he was within her sight, Su Jing could recognize him at a glance.

With skin as white as porcelain, a slender and tall figure, a prominent nose, and captivating eyes, she was so beautiful that it was hard to tell whether she was male or female. Who else could this be but Jiang Yi?

Didn't he die the same year the COVID-19 pandemic first began? She had just gone to the river to burn paper money for him, and when the fire burned out, black butterflies were still flying around him...

Su Jing suddenly woke up.

Did she see a ghost? Or was she the ghost?

Su Jing looked around, seeing the familiar, youthful faces of her classmates. Chaotic memories flooded her mind, piecing them together. She couldn't believe it, couldn't believe it! But it seemed she had to believe it. She was in a third-grade classroom right now.

Before she could comprehend her thoughts, the math teacher's voice blasted into her ears again, "What kind of piece of shit are you? You're still dazed even after roll call!" At the same time, something moved toward her out of the corner of her eye. Su Jing instinctively raised her hand, just in time to block the slap the math teacher was about to slap her in the face. The slap landed on her arm with a painful snap.

"It hurts, this isn't a dream!" Su Jing was shocked. "She's alive, time has gone back!? Did her wish come true??"

Immersed in the shock of time going backwards, Su Jing had no intention of noticing that the classroom was in chaos, with people shouting and clamoring for help.

"Teacher Chen hit someone"

"Su Jing and Teacher Chen had a fight!"

……

There was a loud noise in her ears and chaos around her. Su Jing was still confused until several people were taken into the Academic Affairs Office and scolded before being brought out.

After leaving the Academic Affairs Office, she walked towards home in a daze, with a lot of questions in her mind and a feeling of surprise or shock.

On the old street that is so familiar, the oil in the black pot of the fried skewers sold on the roadside is smoking; the woman selling vegetables next to her is knitting a sweater at the vegetable stall, her hands are rough, black and yellow, and full of black cracks.

The air was filled with the pungent smell of coal smoke, scattered garbage could be seen all along the narrow road, and there were tangled and messy electric wires on both sides, clotheslines tied to electric poles, and torn underwear of various sizes and sheets dangling here and there.

These things that Su Jing used to be accustomed to now made her feel short of breath and lost.

Is everything really back to normal? Is everything I've worked so hard for gone? Are the shackles of "home" that I finally let go of also returning?

"You're really capable! You're actually fighting against Alpha." A familiar male voice came from behind, interrupting Su Jing's thoughts. Is that Li Yong? Turning around, she saw two familiar people.

Unexpectedly seeing Jiang Yi's face again, Su Jing was a little at a loss. She had pursued him for ten years in her previous life.

Her chest suddenly felt tight, but Su Jing quickly calmed down, smiled indifferently, and snorted. She pretended to glance at Jiang Yi's face casually. Just like in her previous life, she still didn't dare to look him in the eye.

"Isn't anyone disgusted by him?" Su Jing asked back, "A lot of people would be happy if I fought him."

The math teacher's nickname was Alpha, though Su Jing couldn't recall how it came about. She only remembered that he hadn't changed his clothes all semester. Black and yellow marks appeared behind his ears, on his neck, and on his shirt collar, the kind that only appear when someone hasn't showered for a long time. He also had a constant smell of rancidity. Not only was his lecture incomprehensible, but his accent was so thick that you had to guess half of what he said. Alpha taught two classes, and every student disliked him.

"That's right, the air has changed when he walks by," Li Yong said, and all three of them laughed. Su Jing quickly glanced at Jiang Yi again. He was looking at her with a smile in his eyes. Su Jing's heart beat faster, and she quickly looked down at the ground, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

This guy is like this. His attitude towards himself, or his attitude towards all girls, is neither too close nor too distant, neither rejecting nor welcoming.

Jiang Yi wore a bright blue and red polo shirt and jeans, sporting the then-popular Aaron Kwok hairstyle. His hair fell down to his eyelashes, which fluttered. Su Jing took a deep breath.

They had been in the same class since elementary school and lived very close to each other. Su Jing arrived home first after walking a short distance.

As soon as Su Jing reached the doorstep, she heard someone cursing inside. The voice and content were incredibly familiar: Su's mother was scolding her father again. This scene was so familiar that she didn't want to remember it. The endless complaints of a woman who had to work, do housework, and take care of children were the background soundtrack of her own growth.

What the hell is going on? I wished that time could go back, but I ended up back at this point. I don’t know whether it’s a blessing or a curse.

Su Jing smiled bitterly, shook his head and said self-deprecatingly: "Let's just say that God has bestowed upon a person like me a great mission."

"I'm back." Pushing open the door, Su Jing looked around, feeling a little confused, with a familiar sense of strangeness, or a strange sense of familiarity.

"Yeah." Mother Su responded in the kitchen and continued washing vegetables without looking up.

Dad Su was lying on the sofa holding a newspaper, his face hidden behind the newspaper.

A mother who is too busy to do anything and a father who is not concerned with anything is probably the norm in most families.

After putting her schoolbag away and coming out again, her younger brother also came in and was eating meat from a bowl at the table. Su Jing immediately felt a wave of disgust in her chest. In her previous life, she had finally severed contact with her parents because of this evil, stupid bastard.

"All he knows how to do is eat, what a waste!" Su Jing couldn't help but mutter in a low voice. Unexpectedly, Su's mother heard it.

"Oh, he is a waste, aren't you? You are capable. If you have the ability, go out and don't spend our money! Don't ask us to pay your tuition!" Mother Su never showed mercy when scolding her daughter. Then she had a long string of output. Su Jing closed her ears and brain. She didn't want to listen.

Su Jing didn't know what she was thinking about, but the words she was about to say were stuck in her throat. She opened her mouth, took a deep breath, and then let out a long sigh before closing her mouth again. She put the bowl down heavily and turned to leave. However, she couldn't help but kick the leg of the stool, which made a loud bang.

As soon as she turned around, she felt a pain in the back of her head, and then she heard the sound of something falling to the ground. Su Jing looked back and saw a metal soup spoon lying on the ground.

"You don't want to eat, right? If you have the guts, then don't eat it every day from now on," Mother Su said, exasperated at her stubborn daughter. "You were born with an annoying look and a bad temper. Who would dare to marry you in the future?"

"The younger one, all he does is eat and play. He can't study well. Every day the teacher scolds him. Do I have any shame? The older one, no matter how good his grades are, he thinks about painting all day long and thinks he's a genius. Can you make money by painting? No one does the housework. I'm the only one who works so hard. Now I have to depend on you for a meal. The older one doesn't care about anything. After eating, he just watches TV. He doesn't do anything and doesn't take care of the children. You become an emperor just because you go to work. Don't I go to work? Don't I make money? Aren't I tired from working? This family doesn't belong to me alone. I have to do everything by myself..."

Mr. Su said nothing, lowered his head and ate, with no expression on his face, as if all people and things had nothing to do with him.

Mother Su began to count the bills again. She was always like this, and a spark would make her pull out the bill and read it again. A feeling of suffocation welled up in Su Jing, and she patted her chest hard.

Su Jing was enveloped by a deep feeling of powerlessness and she had difficulty breathing.

Su Jing took a deep breath, walked back to her cubicle, and slammed the door shut. It seemed that a little more force would block out the noise. She leaned heavily against the door, feeling exhausted, closed her eyes, and sighed deeply.

Staring at the youthful face reflected in the window glass, familiar yet unfamiliar, Su Jing was in a daze. She hadn't recovered from the thought of time going backwards, and the ever-present suffocating drama at home weighed heavily on her chest.

Looking up at this familiar yet distant cubicle, listening to the chatter outside, she felt a mixture of emotions. Could she really live her life over again? Could this life be changed?

Su Jing didn't know why, but when people grow up, they always hope that time can go back and everything can be done again.

But now, her wish has really come true, time has really gone back, and she can really start everything over again. Why doesn't she feel happy?