Qingyun's Love: Tiger Boy Falls in Love with a Pretty Lawyer

The torment was no less than torture. He didn't know how he managed to endure it. He often looked glum and restless during class. Even when he was on the verge of peeing in his pants, he could only rely on his iron willpower and mobilize all his muscles to hold it in.

To avoid embarrassment, he resorted to the practice of not defecating. He simply held it in. He never considered the potential harm this intestinal torture might cause to his body.

After some practice, he actually saw some results. His longest streak was seven days without a bowel movement. If he held it in any longer, it would be a problem.

He also took great pleasure in secretly visiting the town's toilets. In his eyes, those simple dry toilets made of adobe were like small palaces.

While squatting in the red-brick public toilet below the train station, he would occasionally lay in ambush, pretending to stumble upon something and taking a sharp look. This was a way to brush up on his physiological knowledge and, incidentally, make up for the fact that he had never seen such sights in school. His bizarre experiences and his bad taste were truly remarkable.

As always, his true identity was exposed. Once, after peeing in a toilet near his home, he walked out with his pants drooping without fastening them. A boy named Li from the military station compound happened to come in. He stared at his genitals without saying a word. Embarrassed and annoyed, he quickly fastened his pants and ran away.

When he went to the military station to watch TV, someone took the opportunity to tease him about looking like a girl. Li Sheng was there too. He glanced at Azan and said quietly, "Don't talk nonsense. I'm a real man." Azan understood what he meant. He didn't know whether to thank him for resolving the situation.

Going to the bathroom was like playing hide-and-seek, a guerrilla game. I'd say I missed out on some interesting things. I heard from classmates that our art teacher would often paint with his urine on the urinal wall when he went to the bathroom. It was quite bizarre. It's a shame I didn't get to see how good he was at it.

He didn't want to change things, but he had been forced into a dead end. If he went into the school restroom now, it would cause as much of a stir as a young girl mistakenly entering the men's restroom.

Many things go through a process from resistance to reluctant acceptance and finally to habit. He went further and further down the path of self-destruction.

Later on, he even developed a kind of hallucination, thinking he should cultivate to become a "constipated angel" who neither eats nor excretes, or a pure and innocent little fox fairy whose gender is indistinguishable. This became a small goal and a label for him.

This is the case in the toilet, not to mention places like the bathhouse where nakedness is required.

When he was young, his mother would take him to the private bathhouse in the women's bathhouse. It was a small room with a door facing the main road, and inside was a large, oblong bathtub. They called it a "pen pond."

On the other side of the wall was the public shower room for women. There was a small hole a few centimeters from the ground, and if you lay down, you could see the gurgling water and the white ankles of the women.

As he grew up, public baths became forbidden places for him. He never dared to set foot there, instead simply washing himself in the tub after boiling water at home. Sometimes, after not bathing for a long time and in the hot weather, he would smell.

When passing by the only public bath in town, he tried to peek into the scene inside through the glass window with worn paint - don't be nervous, he was not peeking into the women's bath but the men's bath.

As a boy, he'd never bathed in a men's bath. How strange and pathetic! No one had ever seen his body, let alone his penis. He hadn't seen theirs either. Haha.

His experience is truly unique in the past 5,000 years. From second grade through the rest of middle school in this tiny town, he never used a school toilet or public bathroom. It's incredible! He lived a life neither human nor ghost.

The subsequent adolescence is even more difficult to overcome.

When puberty roared upon him, Azan was still like an old man strolling leisurely, thinking that everything would be like the rain in the Gobi Desert, at most a sudden burst of wind and rain.

He had no close companions, and because he matured early, he was filled with fear and shame about his physical development. His psychological development clearly couldn't keep up with his physical development.

No one taught him how to deal with the "pains of growing up." He was like a lone tree on the edge of a cliff, letting its messy branches pierce the sky.

He felt uncomfortable all over, as if there was a trapped beast inside his body. He wanted to get out at any time but couldn't find a way out, so he could only rush around recklessly.

In fact, he developed very early. His tiny body became extremely sensitive. Under the soft moonlight, while the other children tore into each other and played wildly in the sand, he could only stand by and watch like a parent, not daring to join in.

If we ever run into each other, my friends will definitely tell me I can't afford to play and even brought a weapon. Being out of sync with my friends is really frustrating. It's better not to play. Otherwise, if I accidentally break a bone, it's no joke.

What's worse, there is also a problem with aesthetics.

"You've grown a beard!" the homeroom teacher, standing in front of his desk, exclaimed softly, looking at him. It seemed like a tone of admiration. His heart tightened; this wasn't what he wanted.

Back home, he took out a mirror and looked at himself. Sure enough, a faint bluish tint had appeared on his upper lip, and a few thicker stubbles stuck out awkwardly. He looked at it with distaste. It seemed he needed to do something about it.

He found a pair of tweezers from the cupboard and unceremoniously plucked out the few longer whiskers by the roots. It was painful. The short ones were difficult to pull out, and there were so many of them that he could only trim them flatly with scissors. If that didn't work, he could wait until they grew longer.

He was the first among his peers to grow a beard. Even more frightening was the growing hair on his legs. Even his rapid growth left him bewildered. Far from feeling the joy of "growing up," he felt like an unevolved savage, a misfit who didn't fit in.

He never dared to go out in shorts, even in the hottest summer days he would always wear long trousers. He often looked at the various beautiful shorts displayed on the counters of shops with envy and daze.

Boys would be so energetic running around in neat shorts. But even this simple need was a luxury for him. He felt uncomfortable and nauseous, as if a bug was biting him.

In order to make himself look more "normal", he repeatedly tried to trim the hair on his legs bit by bit with scissors or blades, and he would accidentally scratch a bleeding cut.

But after a few days, they grew back. It was like a challenge. He couldn't shave them all off, so he had to deprive them of their chance to show their faces. Just like his penis, he wrapped it tightly.

The most terrifying thing was the rapid growth of his first characteristic. He found it difficult to accept, and prayed every day that it would stop growing, that it would shrink. It was like a girl at that time praying that her breasts would not get bigger. This realization made him even more afraid to expose himself. Even if it was just a bulge in the crotch of his pants, he would try to hide it.

Having to wear thin long johns for physical education class became his nightmare. He couldn't stand showing off the bulge in front of his pants.

In order to avoid making a fool of himself in public, he whimsically designed a special belt to tie it up, and used pins to pin the rope to prevent it from falling apart.

During the sprint test, his posture looked a bit stiff. It was scary to think about it; if the pin came loose while he was running, it would be a big problem.

This situation not only caused inconvenience in his life, but also a drawback was that he lost the occasion and opportunity to communicate and build closer relationships with his peers.

Occasionally, I'd see a few classmates gathered under the campus wall, exchanging mysterious glances, speaking in cryptic language unintelligible to outsiders, and chuckling mischievously. Perhaps they were discussing how to thrive.

He had no part in this. He dodged quickly and passed by. He could only stare blankly, endure it, and experience it by himself.

There was a family of outsiders living next door to his house. Anan was his classmate and was quite popular. Unfortunately, their relationship was average, and the friends he attracted were of mixed quality.

One afternoon, a bunch of his classmates came to his house, making a lot of noise and talking about something. Even through the wall, Azan could faintly hear a cheesy boy yelling. It was undoubtedly the guy called "Jianjian."

At this moment, Azan's curiosity was raging. He pressed his ear against the wall, trying to listen to their nonsense. But he couldn't hear clearly, which was very frustrating. He wished he could have clairvoyant eyes and ears that could see through walls.

That mean voice screamed again. "Oh my god, what are they doing? Do they even know what they're doing?" Azan was shocked, but also filled with jealousy and helplessness. It was a pity that as a peer, he couldn't experience it in person.

Azan tutted his lips twice, expressing his inner disappointment and a little contempt. At the same time, he also had a little inexplicable expectation.

He began to drift into a conflicting fantasy. If he took the initiative to break down the barriers and approach them, they would surely warmly welcome him into their team and their game. But that was almost impossible. Azan was a "little fairy" with a penis.

Separated by a wall, the laughter and joy are theirs, while the loneliness and coldness are Azan's. Some of the unique activities of adolescence for boys are destined to be out of Azan's reach.

Such an intimate age is actually very short. When they grow up and have a sense of shame, they will no longer hold such "ladders". He can only miss the feast as a hypocrite and can only play the role of "Ding Dong Cat".

When young men sit on the street with their legs spread wide apart, some passersby will quickly glance at the bulge between their legs. I don't know what the attraction is. Perhaps it is the lack of youthful experience of mingling with peers that gives rise to these unconventional quirks.

He truly became an “outsider.” For a teenage boy, this invisible loss was too great, and could even affect his mental health for the rest of his life.

Others don't care. Your uniqueness will inevitably be destroyed. Especially those outliers who can be maliciously speculated, ridiculed, and criticized. Don't you pride yourself on your innocence? Then don't blame us for knocking it down like a toy.