Do you really think you can get me with just a banana?

Murphy's Law is everywhere, even when people are dreaming.

For example, you dreamed of picking up money, but before you spent the money, the alarm clock on the bedside table rang; or you dreamed of someone treating you to a meal, and when you were faced with a table full of delicious food, you would be awakened by something before you could even take a bite.

Guan Shanyu dreamed that on the way back to the sect, it started to rain, but what fell was not rain, but hamburgers and fried chicken.

It smelled so good! Guan Shanyu hadn't eaten a hamburger for almost half a year. He picked up a crispy and tender hamburger and was about to put it in his mouth, but when the hamburger was 0.01 cm away from his mouth, there was a sudden thunder in the sky.

The thunder was not just an ordinary rumble; upon closer inspection, it sounded like a woman's voice. He looked up and saw Chen Rongrong, dressed in a Thunder God costume, standing above the clouds, shouting at him, "If you don't wake up, I'll really throw you off the mountain!"

Guan Shanyu suddenly woke up and found himself still lying safely on Yan Ruchen's back.

Chen Rongrong stood aside, her eyes wide open, her hands on her hips. It seemed that because of Yan Ruchen's presence, she suppressed the urge to attack him. Instead, she expressed her dissatisfaction with her eyes and exaggerated expression: "You sleep deeper than a pig! You snore so loudly the whole time, and I can't wake you up no matter how hard I call you!"

Everyone has arrived at the sect's entrance. Several disciples packed their bags indifferently and walked into the mountain gate. Occasionally, when they passed by Guan Shanyu, they could not hide a hint of curiosity and teasing in their eyes.

Yan Ruchen was still carrying him steadily. Guan Shanyu quickly woke up, hurriedly broke free from his back and jumped to the ground. He was about to apologize when his legs went weak and he fell to the ground sideways, stumbling.

"Oh, this kid is so excited to go home that he almost doesn't recognize the threshold."

Qing Yuanzi stepped out of the gate and saw Guan Shanyu had fallen flat on his face. He quickly told his disciples to help him up. Guan Shanyu saw his master coming out and quickly got up and limped over to say, "Master, how are you?"

Chen Rongrong was startled and immediately fell silent and stopped cursing.

Qing Yuanzi waved his hand to disregard the formalities, and the other disciples followed suit. Qing Yuanzi looked at Yan Ruchen and then at Guan Shanyu, and said with satisfaction, "You two have such a good relationship. I heard that Ruchen actually carried you all the way up the mountain."

Guan Shanyu's heart tightened, and he quickly clarified: "Master, I am not very good at learning. I twisted my leg when I went down the mountain to do a mission. I can't ride a horse, and the car is not comfortable to sit in. I can only trouble Brother Ruchen to carry me."

Qing Yuanzi was startled and said, "There is such a thing. Let me take a look. Well, it's not that I'm not good at learning. You haven't learned this content yet. It seems that I have to pay attention to this lesson next time, otherwise it would be bad to ask you to go down the mountain and get hurt. Stop standing at the doorstep, come in first and go back to rest."

Qing Yuanzi was the only one waiting to greet them; no one from the other factions showed up. The disciples cast envious glances at Guan Shanyu and another Lingcaoxuan disciple before filing in, each carrying their own bags. Yan Ruchen and the others exchanged brief greetings with Qing Yuanzi before taking their leave and returning to their respective residences.

According to the rules, disciples returning from the mountain gate trial have a three-day holiday, mainly to summarize the experiences and lessons learned during the training, and to explain their contributions and shortcomings, which is a bit like a work summary at work.

Writing a summary was a piece of cake for Guan Shanyu. He finished it in an hour and after handing it in, he spent the rest of the time sleeping in the bamboo house. He only ate one meal a day and spent the rest of his time lying down to recuperate except for going to the toilet.

After three days of this, I felt refreshed all over.

Staring at the roof of the bamboo house, Guan Shanyu felt for the first time that he had really become a happy little salted fish. Disciples brought him meals every day, and someone came to help him change his medicine. He didn't even need to go out to socialize. This life was simply like his dream life.

I wish it could always be like this, even if it means breaking all his legs.

But the system was cruel and directly rejected his request.

When Guan Shanyu was using all his life's knowledge to insult this stupid system, Qing Yuanzi suddenly pushed the door open.

After the old man came in, he had a puzzled and worried expression on his face, which made Guan Shanyu think that he was in trouble. When he saw the person coming, he immediately put on a harmless smile.

Qing Yuanzi came over and asked Guan Shanyu a lot about going down the mountain, and asked Guan Shanyu how he felt about going down the mountain. However, after Guan Shanyu answered for a few times, he felt that the old man was not interested in the matter, so he asked directly: "Master, if you have any questions for me, I will tell you everything I know."

Qing Yuanzi hesitated for a moment, fanning himself vigorously with the palm-leaf fan in his hand, as if considering his words. After a long pause, he finally asked, "Did anything unpleasant happen when you came down the mountain?"

Guan Shanyu was taken aback when he heard this, then thought that the "unpleasantness" might not be directed at him, but involved others. He asked himself, could it be that disciples from a certain faction were fighting over the credit? So he answered cautiously, "I haven't encountered any unpleasantness. Master, what happened?"

Qing Yuanzi spoke frankly: "The editor of this performance report barely mentioned your involvement."

"..."

Guan Shanyu asked: "Who wrote this report?"

Qing Yuanzi said: "Hu Qi."

Guan Shanyu asked: "Have you written Yan Ruchen?"

Qing Yuanzi said: "Of course, his contribution is very great, and your elders are preparing to reward him well."

Guan Shanyu breathed a sigh of relief. It was enough to just write about him. It didn't matter whether he had any credit or not. He was already satisfied that he didn't take the blame for the protagonist.

He thought for a moment and immediately put the blame, which had no credit, on his left leg. Dujuan twisted the corner of his clothes and cried bitterly, saying that it was all because of his weak constitution that he could not help. Then he made a big promise, saying that he would work hard in the future and would never embarrass his master when he went down the mountain next time.

The beginning of the big picture, wait for me next time blah blah...

But the NPC obviously fell for it. Seeing that Guan Shanyu was so sensible, Qing Yuanzi repeatedly praised him and told him not to be discouraged even though he didn't help. He said there would be plenty of opportunities to go down the mountain to gain experience in the future, and by then he would have made great progress in his studies and would not be afraid of not making any contribution.

At the end, he did not forget to remind him that in three months they would have to go to the hunting ground to participate in the junior disciple competition of various immortal sects. Since this kind of competition that focuses on martial arts is competed for by Tianjian Pavilion, Lingcaoxuan is basically just there to accompany them, so they are not required to kill any monsters, as long as they don't get hurt.

Qing Yuanzi gently waved his palm-leaf fan and said earnestly, "My disciple, remember, the path of cultivation is based on tranquility. All false reputations in the world are like passing clouds."

Guan Shanyu was very touched. Qing Yuanzi was such a good master. He didn't demand too much from them in terms of martial arts improvement. He was neither strict nor extreme. He usually played leaf games with them or planted vegetables in the fields with them. He would occasionally go to the charity hall to attend classes. Isn't such a dream teacher what he had always dreamed of?

But I feel a little guilty about arranging a gay plot for him.

However, the original book did write about Qing Yuanzi coming to find him.

His original intention was to kindly remind Guan Shanyu not to over-compete during the beginner's competition. However, these words unexpectedly triggered Guan Shanyu's pride in the original novel, causing him to not only fail to restrain his edge during the hunting ground trials, but also to resort to trickery against his competitors, even going so far as to push Yan Ruchen off a cliff, just to gain a good reputation and prove himself.

But Guan Shanyu is now a salted fish in his body.

I don’t ask for a prosperous fortune, but I ask for a long and healthy life.

In the days that followed, Guan Shanyu continued to be his lazy and idle self.

Apart from the daily work in the fields and medical studies, he basically stayed at home whenever possible, so he met Yan Ruchen less often. His days were so leisurely that he almost forgot about the plot deviation. Occasionally, he would have the idea that it would be nice to stay in Tianxuan Dao Sect forever.

After all, he is a salted fish, and his master is also half a salted fish. If he can survive here until the later stage, he can also learn the art of flying with a sword. This is simply every man's dream!

However, despite this, whenever he occasionally went to Tianjian Pavilion to deliver herbs, he would always meet Yan Ruchen by chance, and the idea of ​​living in the mountains like a salted fish for the rest of his life would be immediately shattered.

Sometimes Yan Ruchen could be found alone, suffering punishment under the scorching sun, or practicing swordplay in the bamboo forest. Occasionally, Chen Rongrong and Si Hongyin would accompany him, but more often than not, Yan Ruchen, the King of Cheats, was alone. With such a capable and unstoppable King of Cheats in this world, it was impossible for him to simply lie low in the mountains.

And every time Guan Shanyu passed by idly, he would always be discovered by Yan Ruchen, and then Yan Ruchen would nod and greet him very politely when he saw him. However, Guan Shanyu was afraid that his character would be OOC and afraid of getting too close to the King of Plug-ins, so most of the time he would turn around and run away.

Guan Shanyu is not one to cause trouble, but he is also afraid of trouble.

As the time for the initial disciple trial drew closer, Guan Shanyu began to have intermittent nightmares.

Either he dreamed of a car accident during his lifetime, or he dreamed of planting vegetables in the fields in the hot summer, sweating profusely but never able to finish them. But most of the time he dreamed of dying in a foreign land with sores all over his body. Every time he woke up, Guan Shanyu had a vague premonition, so he would review the system while planting.

After three months of living a life of idleness and waiting to die, he finally made it to the day of the initial stage trial for the disciple.