Eastern Han Dynasty, not the Three Kingdoms

The wind in Xuzhou always carried a hint of something lingering and unpleasant. Cao Ang stood under the corridor of the government office, gazing at the fallen leaves in the courtyard, his brow furrowed slightly. Lately, he felt as if a heavy stone was pressing on his heart, making it hard to breathe.

A few days ago, he secretly bribed Xu You in Xudu and went to great lengths to get the two renowned scholars, Tian Feng and Ju Shou, out of prison. These two were pillars of Hebei, known for their strategic brilliance when they served Yuan Shao, but unfortunately, their talents were wasted, ending up imprisoned. Cao Ang respected their integrity and invited them to his Xuzhou residence, treating them as guest advisors and never interfering in their affairs, let alone mentioning the word "seeking refuge."

At first, Tian Feng and Ju Shou were cold and indifferent to him, often referring to him as "the descendant of a eunuch." Cao Ang, however, always treated him with courtesy, preparing food and drink for him daily and seeking his advice, never getting angry even when he was coldly rejected. Over time, the frost on the two old ministers' faces gradually melted, and occasionally they would interject a comment or two when he talked about military affairs. Although they were still distant, there was less hostility in their eyes. Cao Ang saw this change and felt a little comforted, but he also knew that getting them to truly win his heart was as difficult as climbing to heaven.

This wasn't the only worry. When his father, Cao Cao, was waging war against Runan, he wrote three letters overnight, volunteering to lead troops to its aid, even if it was just as a vanguard. But Cao Cao rejected them all, saying, "Xuzhou is a vital passage between the north and south, and should not be left lightly." The coldness in Cao Cao's words was like a thorn pricking his heart.

What distracted him even more was Yuan Tan of Qingzhou. Those Yuan family members, for some unknown reason, suddenly sent small groups of troops to harass the border of Xuzhou. Although each time they were repelled by the garrison, they were like a swarm of flies that couldn't be shaken off, raiding a village one day and burning a beacon tower the next, causing constant unrest on the border. Cao Ang knew that Yuan Tan was trying to unsettle him, but he had no choice but to divide his troops to defend against them, even having to constantly distract himself from training his troops.

Even today, when his father sent a fast horse to deliver the copied battle report, Cao Ang's hand, holding the letter, finally trembled slightly.

The Xiliang army has attacked Xuchang.

These seven words struck him like a heavy hammer. He recalled Ma Chao's silver armor and white horse, and Ma Chao's governing philosophy filled him with longing... But now, the "King of Liang" whom he had always respected had actually made a move against his father's foundation.

The father didn't say anything harsh in the letter, but the sentence "You should take a closer look at Ma Chao's military tactics" was full of disappointment, as if silently questioning: Is this how the people you respect treat your Cao family?

Cao Ang leaned against a pillar, feeling a tightness in his chest. On one side was his father, who had raised him; on the other was the hero he had once admired. Now, the two were at loggerheads, and he was caught in the middle, feeling as if he were being torn apart by two opposing forces. His father's dissatisfaction was clearly written on paper, and that silent pressure was more unbearable than any reprimand.

Cao Ang walked step by step toward the villa where Tian Feng and Ju Shou were temporarily staying, his boots crunching over the dry leaves. The sound was clearer than the turmoil in his mind.

He and Yunlu lived a blissful life, but ever since he married this young lady from Xiliang, his father's gaze towards him had become tinged with an inexplicable distance. Was it simply because Yunlu was Ma Chao's younger sister that his father assumed he was loyal to Xiliang? Cao Ang recalled the days when Yuan Shao's army pressed in; if it hadn't been for Yunlu leading Wei Yan's Xiliang cavalry to their aid overnight, tearing a gap in the siege, the Cao family would have long since become bones beneath Yuan Shao's blade. Had his father forgotten this kindness?

But now, the two families are still at each other's throats. His father's hostility towards Ma Chao is like a thorn stuck in his flesh, impossible to pull out or gouge out. Caught in the middle, he can't do anything about it, and the frustration in his chest is so intense that he can't think of any other way but to come to this secluded courtyard to seek advice.

"Young Master." As Tian Feng greeted him at the door, he noticed the deep sorrow etched on Cao Ang's brow, and his eyebrows twitched slightly. Ju Shou stood under the eaves, a scroll in his hand, his gaze fixed on Cao Ang with a mixture of scrutiny and understanding.

Cao Ang bowed respectfully, his voice tinged with weariness: "I'm bothering you two gentlemen again."

Upon entering the room, a maid served hot tea. Tian Feng cut to the chase: "What troubles you, young master?"

Cao Ang held the teacup, his fingertips turning white: "Sir, you are wise. On one side is my father, and on the other side are... the King of Liang and Yunlu. Now that they are at war, I really don't know how to deal with this."

Ju Shou put down his book and said calmly, "Self-preservation? Do you think the current situation allows for the concept of 'self-preservation'?"

Cao Ang was taken aback and looked up at him.

Tian Feng sighed, “Young Master treats people with sincerity and respects us as teachers. We will remember this kindness. But have you ever considered that the world can never be settled by ‘friendship’?” He paused, his gaze sharpening, “Your father and Ma Chao, your father is a regional warlord, and Ma Chao controls Xiliang while eyeing the Central Plains, both are men with the world in their hearts. Their struggle is not a personal grudge, but a struggle for hegemony. Young Master, caught in the middle, hoping to have the best of both worlds, is nothing but a mirage.”

“But…” Cao Ang said urgently, “Xiliang saved the Cao family back then, Father shouldn’t do this…”

“It was the Xiliang cavalry that saved the Cao family, not Ma Chao’s ‘benevolence’,” Ju Shou interrupted him. “Ma Chao saved you because Yuan Shao was powerful at the time, and Xiliang needed the Cao family to keep him in check; now he is attacking Xuchang because the Cao family has become an obstacle to his conquest of the Central Plains. In chaotic times, there are no permanent friends, only permanent interests. If you can’t even see this, it’s no wonder you’re confused.”

Cao Ang's face flushed with embarrassment, but he was speechless in rebuttal.

Seeing his distraught state, Tian Feng finally softened his tone: "Young master, you are kind-hearted, concerned about the suffering of the people, and unwilling to see bloodshed. This is benevolence. But how can one who achieves great things not have a touch of ruthlessness? Look at your father, for the sake of his legacy, he even deliberately distanced himself from his own son; look at Ma Chao, for the sake of taking Yizhou, he disregarded his old friendship with Liu Bei. If you, young master, had such a character, you would be a blessing to the people in a peaceful and prosperous era, but in this chaotic world..."

He didn't say anything more, but his meaning was crystal clear.

Cao Ang's hand trembled slightly as he held the teacup, spilling a little tea. He knew his own nature all too well. But he couldn't be as calculating and shrewd as his father, or as decisive and ruthless as Ma Chao. He only wanted to protect Yunlu, to defend Xuzhou, and to lessen the suffering of the people within its borders from the ravages of war. Was that wrong?

"What you two gentlemen mean is..." he began with difficulty.

"Face reality," Ju Shou said. "Either stand firmly on your father's side and abandon all ties with Xiliang; or..." He changed the subject, "then guard Xuzhou well, be a lord who protects the people and the borders, and stop getting involved in this struggle for supremacy. But this path is very difficult."

Tian Feng added, "Young master, you must understand that the more you try to please both sides, the more you will be suspected by both. Your father suspects that you are loyal to Xiliang, and this intentional or unintentional estrangement is the reality. I'm afraid that you will find it difficult to inherit Cao Cao's family business in the future."

The wind outside the window rustled the fallen leaves against the paper windowpane. Cao Ang sat there, feeling as if the words of the two gentlemen were two huge rocks pressing down on him, making it hard to breathe. He looked at the tea reflection in his cup, which mirrored his bewildered face. He realized that the "stability" he had so desperately wanted to protect was so fragile in this chaotic world.

After a long while, he slowly stood up and bowed deeply to Tian Feng and Ju Shou: "Thank you both for your guidance. Cao Ang... understands."

But the word "understand" felt heavier than lead. As he walked out of the courtyard, the setting sun cast his long shadow, like a road with no end in sight.

Cao Ang stood under the eaves, gazing at the old locust tree in the courtyard, its bare branches pointing towards the gray sky, much like his current state of mind.

He wasn't stupid; how could he not understand his father's thoughts? These days, his father had repeatedly praised Cao Pi in public as "decisive" and "like me," even involving him in military decision-making—the deliberate attempt to elevate him was obvious to everyone. In contrast, he himself had been assigned to Xuzhou, seemingly entrusted with an important task, but in reality, it felt like he'd been excluded from the core of power.

The Cao family's relatives were even more astute. The uncles and elders who used to fawn over him now either awkwardly avoided him or only dared to exchange perfunctory pleasantries. Very few dared to offer a word or express their opinion privately. They were all observing and trying to figure out their father's intentions, afraid of choosing the wrong side.

Fortunately, the second-generation members of the Cao family who grew up with him, such as Cao Zhen and Xiahou Shang, still acknowledged him as their elder brother and protected him in the army. In addition, Ji Ling, who had joined him after being captured, was one of the few generals he could speak to. However, the veteran generals in the clan were all silent and trembling, and none dared to approach him easily—his father's "distancing" attitude had long been like an invisible wall, separating him from the core power of the Cao family.

"Is what Father did really right?" Cao Ang murmured to himself, a bitter taste rising in his throat. He recalled the scenes of war over the years, corpses strewn across the fields, cries of anguish everywhere. His father always said it was "for the sake of the Cao family's legacy," but how many bones were buried beneath that legacy? He even doubted whether the Cao family could truly contend for the throne. Were they really a match for the King of Liang? It would only lead to more bloodshed.

But he couldn't say it.

He was the eldest son of the Cao family, raised by his father. To persuade his father to give up the struggle for power? That would be tantamount to negating his father's life's work; he couldn't do that. To compete with Cao Pi for the position of heir apparent? To watch his brothers turn against each other, putting his father in a difficult position, was even more unacceptable to him.

Yunlu once privately advised him, "Why must you humble yourself like this, my husband? With your abilities, why worry about not being able to establish yourself?" He just smiled bitterly. If he really fought with his brother for power, how would he be any different from those Yuan family sons who were vying for power and profit? If he betrayed his father, would he be worthy of the title "Cao family son"?

Ji Ling's footsteps echoed from outside the corridor. This former general, now his most capable subordinate, looked travel-worn: "Young master, our spies in Qingzhou report that Yuan Tan is mobilizing troops again, probably intending to start another incident."

Cao Ang composed himself, took the military report, traced the words "Yuan Tan" with his fingertips, and his eyes gradually hardened: "Pass down the order to strengthen border defenses. Cao Zhen will lead 5,000 cavalry to garrison Donghai, and Xiahou Shang will guard Langya. If Yuan Tan dares to come, let him taste the power of Xuzhou."

At least, he can still hold onto Xuzhou. At least, the people of this land can suffer less from the ravages of war under his protection.

As for the court intrigues and the struggle for the throne, he could only put them aside for the time being. He couldn't and didn't want to interfere in his father's or his brother's path. He would only walk his own path, even if it was destined to be lonely and filled with untold grievances.

The wind blew through the branches of the old locust tree, making a whistling sound, as if it were sighing for him, or perhaps encouraging him.