She's waiting for me there.

My name is Qing Ning, I am five years old, and today is the day my sister leaves home to go to college.

At the entrance of the village, she held me in her arms and cried, "You must take good care of yourself, okay? When I graduate, I will take you to the city."

I nodded vigorously. Although I felt a little sad about parting, I was mostly excited.

My sister never lies to me. She said there are many delicious foods in the city that are sweeter and more delicious than the candied haws I ate last year.

Sister Taozi smiled and said, "Qingxue, don't worry, leave this little guy to me, you can go to school with peace of mind."

"Taozi, I'll be troubling you from now on." Then she said to me, "From now on, you must listen to your sister Taozi in everything. If you are bullied, just run away, okay?"

"Well, sister, don't worry, I will follow Sister Taozi from now on and wait for you to come back."

Watching my sister get on the bus, I felt empty inside, as if I had lost something.

Sister Taozi took my little hand and patted my head lovingly: "Let's go, little girl, I'll take you to the river to catch fish."

When I heard about catching fish, I immediately became excited. Although I rarely succeeded, at least there was hope.

I looked up at Sister Taozi beside me. She was very pretty, with two graceful pigtails and a pretty oval face. She always had a faint smile on her face, and looked very gentle.

She is about the same age as her sister, but her family stopped letting her go to school very early and she has been helping with farm work at home.

We still didn't catch any fish that afternoon. I kicked a stone into the river in disappointment, causing a small wave.

Sister Taozi pulled me to her side and gently pinched my cheek: "Little Qingning, don't be discouraged. No matter what time, you must be full of hope in your heart, understand?"

I nodded, not quite understanding.

In the evening, before I even entered the house, I heard my father shouting in the yard: "Qing Ning, where did that little girl go again?"

"Dad, I'm here." Hearing the anger in his voice, I answered him fearfully while lying by the door.

"What the hell are you hiding there for? Come here now."

I was nervous and jogged over there.

My father slapped me on the head, and I staggered and fell to the ground.

"Go buy a bottle of wine. If you dare to break it, I'll beat you to death." After saying that, he threw 10 yuan in my face.

I ran out with the money as if I had been pardoned, and I couldn't help feeling a little relieved. Fortunately, it was just a slap in the face.

I hope Dad doesn’t drink too much today, otherwise he might hit someone with a stick again. My sister is not at home and there is no one to protect me. After I finish helping Mom with her work, I must go to bed early to avoid being beaten.

After dinner, I ate a steamed bun left over from the day before and didn’t dare eat the dishes on the table. Although I really wanted to try the fried shredded potatoes, I decided not to do so in order to avoid being noticed by my father.

After dinner, I quickly helped my mother clean up the dishes, and then washed up. At around 7 o'clock, I lay down on the bed and breathed a sigh of relief. I was lucky today and did not make my parents angry. I must do better in the future to please them.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, I suddenly felt my body hanging in the air, and then I was thrown heavily onto the bed.

I quickly hugged my head. This was the method my sister taught me.

Next, I kept begging: "Dad, I was wrong, please stop hitting me, wuwu."

Although I don’t know where I went wrong, I must have done something wrong. I tried hard to recall everything that had just happened, and finally came to a conclusion that maybe I didn’t wash the dishes clean enough.

The crying did not bring about the father's forgiveness, but instead the pain in the body became more and more severe.

Late at night, my father threw me to the ground and said, "You money-loser, why are you pretending? Get up and get me some water to wash my feet."

I endured the severe pain all over my body, brought him a basin of hot water, and helped him wash his feet.

From beginning to end, my mother never said a word of advice. She just sat there watching TV. Sometimes, when my crying disturbed her, she would scold me.

The next day, I cleaned the house as usual and went out to find Sister Taozi.

When Sister Taozi saw that I had a bruised face and nose, she pulled me over and hugged me in her arms with concern, then went into the house to get some disinfectant and applied it on the wound.

Some adults are no longer surprised to see me like this. After all, all the girls here have gone through this, and only boys can please their families.

Time passed quickly and winter came in a blink of an eye. I was wearing thin clothes, standing barefoot in the snow, and shivering all over.

This time I really made a mistake and broke a bowl at home. This kind of thing rarely happened, so my father just slapped me a few times and hurried out.

Before going out, my father told me to stand until he came back.

I was looking forward to it, hoping that my father would come back soon. I wanted to go back to that warm house.

Maybe this is how time is. The more you look forward to it, the slower it goes.

A few hours later, just as I was about to die, there was a rustling sound on the wall.

Is dad back?

I turned around hopefully, but saw Sister Taozi running towards me with her back bent, her eyes fixed on the window.

When she saw my skin exposed and turned purple from the cold, she felt so distressed that she cried.

I raised my numb little hand, wiped it on her face, and tried hard to pull the corner of my mouth: "Sister Taozi, don't cry."

Sister Taozi took out a down jacket and shoes from the bag and put them on me skillfully. Although the size was not right, I felt much warmer.

She kissed me on the forehead, not daring to stay here, and turned to walk towards the wall.

Because she knew that if my parents knew that she was meddling in other people's affairs, I would be the only one who would suffer in the end.

My father came home very late that night, drunk. When he saw me still standing in the yard, he was scared and kicked me while cursing at me.

"What are you doing standing here in the middle of the night? Get out of here right now. I'm getting upset just seeing you, this money-loser."

I fell in the snow, but I felt a little lucky in my heart. It seemed that my father had forgotten that I broke the bowl, and I could finally return to that warm bed.

As winter passed and spring came, I spent every day missing my sister. During the Chinese New Year, my sister did not come home. My parents said it was because the travel expenses were too expensive, and my sister also had to work as a temporary worker there, otherwise she would not have money to pay tuition and would not be able to continue her studies.

Sister Taozi told me that her family never gave her money after she entered high school. Because her grades were among the best in the county, all tuition and miscellaneous fees were waived with the recommendation of her class teacher, so her parents allowed her to go to school. Otherwise, she would have to stay at home like Sister Taozi.

That day was the same as usual. Sister Taozi and I sat by the river and watched the fish in the water.

"Little Qing Ning, I may not be able to take care of you in the future."

I was stunned for a moment, looking at Sister Taozi's numb eyes, and my heart became empty again, as if I was about to lose something important.

That year, I was 7 years old.