Why didn't you tell me earlier that my little sister is still waiting for me?

"Is everyone here?" Lin Bufan stood in the middle of the living room in 3601, looking around at the people sitting around on the sofa. The thick stack of scripts in his hands shone brightly under the light, and the six large, gold-stamped characters on the cover, "The Final Battle at the Forbidden City," gleamed brightly.

Hu Yifei crossed her legs and tapped the coffee table impatiently: "If you have something to say, please say it quickly. I have to go to the gym later."

"That's right!" Zeng Xiaoxian echoed in a sly tone, "My radio show is about to start, and the listeners are waiting to hear me—"

"Shut up!" Hu Yifei glared at Zeng Xiaoxian, who immediately shrank his neck.

Lin Bufan cleared his throat and solemnly placed the script on the coffee table. "Everyone, the official script for 'Battle of the Forbidden City' has been completed. I've invited everyone here today to discuss the role allocation and filming plan."

As soon as she finished speaking, Meijia eagerly grabbed the script and flipped through it. Her fingers quickly moved across the pages, suddenly stopping at one, her eyes widening. "Wait! Why is my character, Chen Meijia, the most beautiful woman in the Forbidden City, dead?!"

Meijia angrily slammed the script on the coffee table and pointed at a section of text on it: "Killed by a time traveler a year ago? What kind of a setup is this!"

Lin Bufan touched his nose. "Well...it's because of the plot. Think about it, it was your death that triggered the main plot of Zhang Wei turning into a lobster monster and seeking revenge. Your role is very important in the whole play."

"Lobster monster?!" Zhang Wei suddenly jumped up from the sofa and snatched the script. "Let me see what role I'm going to play... Holy crap!" Zhang Wei's face instantly turned greener than his T-shirt after seeing his lobster monster setting. "Let me play a genetically mutated lobster monster? And a fucking villain boss?"

Zeng Xiaoxian leaned over to take a gloating look. "Hahahaha, Zhang Wei, your description of the design—a humanoid lobster monster over ten meters tall, with pulsating circuit patterns all over its shell—is killing me!"

"What a joke!" Hu Yifei pushed Zeng Xiaoxian away and sneered, "Five souls quarreling in one body? Isn't that insane!"

Zeng Xiaoxian's smile froze as he hurriedly flipped through the script. "What?! Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Zhao Yun, Ma Chao, and Huang Zhong's five souls share my body? And we're even fighting with ourselves? No way, wouldn't that completely ruin my image as a public figure?"

Meijia raised her eyelids and glanced at Zeng Xiaoxian, then curled her lips and said disdainfully, "Teacher Zeng, what's this? You know, not only do I have to play a dead person, but I also have to fall in love with a dead lobster. I'm the worst off, okay?"

Zhang Wei immediately got furious when he heard this: "Hey, hey, hey! A lobster is a lobster. Why do you say I'm a dead lobster? I'm obviously alive and kicking!"

"Weren't you beaten to death at the end of the script? Even if you turned to light, you're still not called a dead lobster?"

"Nonsense!" Zhang Wei angrily flipped to the last page of the script. "Look here, 'The familiar red claws and pink skirt flashed by.' What does this mean? It means I will be resurrected!"

"That's also death! Dying and then coming back to life is still death, isn't it?"

……

The camera turned to Zhan Bo, who, after reading the introduction of his character, collapsed on the sofa and said with despair, "Why am I playing a dead eunuch?"

Guan Gu suddenly raised his hand and said earnestly in his trademark Japanese Chinese, "Zhanbo, according to the script, you are playing Wei Zhongxian—a living eunuch, not a dead one. There is a fundamental difference between the two in both biological and legal terms!"

Zhan Bo held his head in despair: "What's the difference? Aren't they all eunuchs?"

Guan Gu continued to explain seriously, "Of course there is a difference! Dead eunuchs are in the past tense, while living eunuchs are in the present continuous tense. Just like ninjas are divided into genin, chunin, and jonin, eunuchs are also divided into two levels: living eunuchs and dead eunuchs! And my character, Hattori Hanzo, is obviously a jonin. Although he has a few lines, it fits my character of a cold-blooded killer very well."

Hu Yifei burst out laughing when she heard Guan Gu's explanation: "Hahaha, Guan Gu, what kind of crazy logic is this! Eunuchs are divided into different levels?" She slapped her thigh, almost laughing to tears: "Zhanbo, just accept your fate. Your role is a living eunuch! It's rare!"

Lin Wanyu took off her headphones, blinked her big eyes, and added innocently, "Fei Fei, your Dongfang Bubai seems to be a eunuch too, right?"

The air in the living room froze for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. Hu Yifei's face turned from red to blue, and she grabbed the pillow and threw it at Lin Wanyu, "What do you know, little girl? Dongfang Bubai castrated himself, how can he be the same as a eunuch?"

Amidst the chaos, Lu Ziqiao suddenly cleared his throat, straightened his collar, and stood up: "Everyone, I have a few opinions about my role."

Lu Ziqiao tossed his hair and struck a pose that looked like he deserved a beating. "First of all, I'm very satisfied with the role of Lu Bu—the strongest man on earth, suave and charming, with exceptional martial arts skills. It's completely tailor-made for me!"

Tang Youyou raised her chin proudly at the side: "I also added a lot of emotional scenes for you. You know, emotional scenes are the most challenging for acting skills!"

"That's the problem!" Lu Ziqiao suddenly raised his voice, pointing at the words "Diao Chan - played by Tang Youyou" on the script, and shouted in frustration, "Letting my aunt and I play a couple? How can that be right? Won't the audience feel uncomfortable watching it?"

Then, Lu Ziqiao turned to Lin Bufan and said righteously, "Junior Lin, I suggest that you find a more suitable actress to play Diao Chan. For example, the yoga instructor who just moved in downstairs is a good choice. Her looks, her figure, and her..."

"What about you!" Tang Youyou's fury instantly exploded, and she grabbed Lu Ziqiao's ears: "What do you mean? Do you dislike your aunt because I'm not pretty enough?"

"It hurts, it hurts!" Lu Ziqiao tilted his head and jumped up and down. "That's not what I meant! This is art. Do you understand art? It has to be realistic!"

Tang Youyou put a little more strength in her hands, making Lu Ziqiao grimace: "Realism? Which of your ex-girlfriends is prettier than me? Last time, that Taotao had so much powder on her face that I could scrape it off and use it as putty!"

"How can that be the same?" Lu Ziqiao struggled to defend himself, "Acting is acting, life is life! Have you ever seen an aunt and nephew play lovers in a TV show?"

Tang Youyou sneered, let go of Lu Ziqiao's ear, put her hands on her hips and said, "What do you know! In real life, couples play the role of mother-in-law and son-in-law in the play!"

As Tang Youyou finished speaking, everyone looked at Zhang Wei in unison, their gazes so scorching that it seemed as if they wanted to burn a hole in his face.

Zhang Wei was so frightened by the stares that the script in his hands trembled like a sieve. "You...why are you looking at me? What does this have to do with me?"

Everyone was also confused about this. They didn't know why, when Tang Youyou mentioned mother-in-law and son-in-law, she looked at Zhang Wei. It felt like there was a mysterious force pulling everyone!

Just when everyone was wondering why this was happening, Tang Youyou suddenly slammed the table and stood up, startling everyone: "Everyone! As a professional actor, I must point out a serious problem-" Then, Tang Youyou looked around at everyone, and then said seriously: "My role is too small!"

"Tsk—" Tang Youyou's response was naturally the sound of contempt from everyone!

Seeing this, Tang Youyou immediately became anxious: "Think about it carefully, you know, I'm the only one in the apartment with acting experience. If I give you more shots, the box office will be guaranteed..."

Just as Tang Youyou was analyzing the situation for everyone, Qin Yumo, who had been quietly reading the script, suddenly screamed, "Ah——!"

Everyone was startled and looked at her. Qin Yumo pointed at the words "City Lord's Wife - played by Lin Bufan" on the script, her eyes widening.

Qin Yumo slowly raised his head, looking up and down at Lin Bufan with a strange look in his eyes, and a meaningful smile slowly appeared on the corner of his mouth: "I didn't expect...Afan, you actually like this..."

Everyone shuddered, and Lin Bufan shuddered even more. He quickly waved his hand to clarify, "Misunderstanding! A huge misunderstanding! The screenwriter made a mistake. I was clearly supposed to play the city lord!"

Qin Yumo waved his hand with an "I understand" expression on his face: "No need to explain~ No wonder you always like..." As he said that, Qin Yumo glanced at Lin Bufan's buttocks meaningfully!

"Puff——" Lu Ziqiao, who was drinking water, sprayed it directly on Zeng Xiaoxian's face.

"Fuck!" Zeng Xiaoxian didn't even bother to wipe his face and looked at Lin Bufan in horror.

The living room suddenly became so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Everyone subconsciously moved away from Lin Bufan, with a look of "So this is the kind of Lin Bufan you are" written all over their faces.

Lin Bufan was so anxious that he kept jumping up and down: "Listen to my explanation! This is really a mistake made by the screenwriter! How could I possibly play the role of the city lord's wife? I clearly——"

"Alright, alright~" Hu Yifei waved her hand to interrupt Lin Bufan, with an expression that said "we all understand": "No need to explain. Explanation is a cover-up, and covering up means it's true."

"No! Listen to me—" Lin Bufan's forehead was sweating: "I'll ask the screenwriter to change it! Change it now!"

Zeng Xiaoxian came over with a sly look on his face and nudged Lin Bufan with his elbow: "Hey, Bufan, what's there to be embarrassed about? It's a different era now, we are all very open-minded~"

"You're so open-minded!" Lin Bufan pushed Zeng Xiaoxian away and said, "I'm such a straight man! A straight man of steel!"

Guan Gu Shenqi suddenly raised his hand and said seriously, "According to scientific research, sexual orientation is a spectrum. There is no absolute straight or gay. And—"

"Shut up!"

Lin Bufan took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. "Everyone, I swear, this is definitely a mistake made by the screenwriter. I'll call them right away and ask them to change the script!"

As soon as Lin Bufan took out his cell phone, Wan Yu grabbed his wrist.

"Wait!" Wan Yu blinked her big eyes and glanced around: "Did you forget something?"

Everyone looked at each other, not knowing what Wanyu was referring to.

Wan Yu pointed at herself angrily, "Me! You guys have been discussing this for ages and have all expressed your opinions on the characters, but I'm the only one who hasn't expressed anything yet!"

Hu Yifei rolled her eyes. "You're just playing Huang Rong, aren't you? What's there to say?"

Zeng Xiaoxian stroked his chin and said with a sly smile, "Wanyu playing Huang Rong? Isn't that quite suitable! A clever rich girl playing a clever little beggar, a true portrayal!"

Lu Ziqiao suddenly slapped his thigh and said, "Wait a minute! Shouldn't they find a young gangster girl to play Huang Rong? I think the tattoo artist at the bar downstairs is pretty good!"

"What do you know!" Tang Youyou immediately retorted: "Huang Rong is extremely intelligent, not a little gangster! Wanyu's temperament is so suitable!"

Guan Gu Shenqi nodded seriously. "According to the original novel, Huang Rong should possess both the innocence of a young girl and the strategic thinking of a wise man. Wanyu certainly fits this image."

Zhang Wei suddenly interrupted: "Who will play Guo Jing? I think I can give it a try..."

"You?" Hu Yifei sneered. "Guo Jing is honest, not stupid, okay? You're having a hard time acting like a lobster monster!"

……

Seeing Wanyu successfully attracting everyone's attention, Lin Bufan gave Wanyu a big thumbs up in his heart, Well done, my baby!

Wan Yu cleared her throat and pointed to a line on the script. "What I want to say is, why do Bufan and I have a love scene?"

"What?!" Everyone exclaimed in unison, and then frantically flipped through the script.

Hu Yifei snatched the script from Wan Yu's hands and quickly flipped to the relevant page: "Huang Rong falls in love with the city lord's wife Lin Bufan at first sight and begins to pursue her passionately? What kind of plot is this!"

Everyone made meaningful "Oh" sounds in unison, their eyes flickering back and forth between Lin Bufan and Wan Yu, and the atmosphere in the living room suddenly became ambiguous.

Lu Ziqiao was the first to jump out, slapping his thigh and yelling, "I was wondering why you suddenly wanted to make a movie! Turns out Junior Lin has other intentions!" Lu Ziqiao squinted and approached Lin Bufan, "Not bad, Junior Lin, you're really good at abusing your power for personal gain. Quite like me, Lu Xiaobu, back in the day!"

Zeng Xiaoxian put his arm around Lin Bufan's shoulder in a frivolous manner: "Hey, we're all adults, those who understand will understand~" Then, Zeng Xiaoxian deliberately lowered his voice: "But I think the City Lord's Wife and Huang Rong's CP is not exciting enough. If it's changed to the City Lord's Wife and Dongfang Bubai, it will definitely shock everyone to death!"

Before Lin Bufan could consider Zeng Xiaoxian's proposal, Hu Yifei roared, "Zeng Xiaoxian!"

At the same time as Hu Yifei's roar, a pillow appeared, a pillow that accurately hit Zeng Xiaoxian's mean face, followed by the second, the third... and finally even the fruit plate on the coffee table flew over.

"Ouch! Yifei, I was wrong!" Zeng Xiaoxian covered his head and ran away, hiding behind the sofa: "I'm just offering suggestions for art!"

"Give me your head! Why aren't you and Lin Bufan in a relationship? If that happens, not only will the audience be shocked to death, but even the dead will be resurrected!"

Just as Hu Yifei finished speaking, Lu Ziqiao suddenly slapped his thigh and shouted with shining eyes, "Oh my god! Yifei, this idea is amazing! Teacher Zeng and Junior Lin as a couple, this is definitely the most exciting screen couple of the year!"

Tang Youyou immediately joined in the fun: "Director Lin, Teacher Zeng, although Ziqiao is unreliable, his proposal... is still very feasible~ The audience is very interested in this kind of forbidden love!"