Even though I was dressed as an ugly woman, I was still forced to love by all kinds of big guys

I thought Yu Yan would get angry again, maybe even hit her, but he did nothing and just strode out of the house. The last time he looked at Su Su, his eyes were cold and indifferent.

Not to mention Su Su, even Li Xinglan and Shang Shiyu were a little surprised. What was he up to?

Su Su looked back and saw Yu Yan's thin back standing straight. His back looked particularly lonely and out of tune with the surrounding things.

After a quick breakfast, Shang Shiyu was confused about which carriage to get on. Without a second thought, he lifted the curtain and waited for Su Su to get on. "Come with us."

Li Xinglan looked at her tangled expression and understood, "Did you make an appointment with Yu Yan?"

She bit her lip and nodded, "We agreed that he would treat your eyes, and he and I would take a car back to the imperial city."

"Can you protect yourself?" Li Xinglan touched her hair and adjusted her collar to cover the faint kiss mark. It would be better not to let Yu Yan see it.

Su Su thought about it and nodded, thinking that Yu Yan would not hurt her.

"If anything happens, just shout. Ergou and I are right behind you." Li Xinglan handed Su Su an exquisite knife like a concerned old father, and his meaning was obvious.

Shang Shiyu personally sent Su Su to Yu Yan's carriage. He still couldn't understand Li Xinglan's decision. He could obviously just break up with them and take them back to Yongzhou. Anyway, Uncle Chen and Aunt Wang were already protected by his people.

But Li Xinglan just shook his head and pulled him away, "Don't make things difficult for Su Su."

She should be the one to make the decision. If she really doesn't want to, she only needs to say one word and they will take her away even if it means they are torn to pieces. But she obviously can't let go of Yu Yan.

"She's too soft-hearted to break up with Yu Yan directly. It's better to let her destroy Su Su's fantasy about him." Li Xinglan looked up at his son, Er Gou, and smiled with relief. "I forgot to mention that our Er Gou has made it big."

I can now protect this family on my own.

Yu Yan was obviously stunned for a moment when Su Su got on his carriage. He looked up at her without any expression.

But Su Su guessed what he was thinking. She smiled guiltily and said, "Didn't we agree to go back together?"

After saying that, she and Yu Yan sat facing each other. She didn't know what she was so nervous about, and her toes wanted to dig into the ground.

There was a deathly silence. Yu Yan closed his eyes and didn't look at Su Su. The sense of happiness surrounding her deeply hurt his heart.

What he couldn't do, Li Xinglan could do easily. Even if he put all the rare treasures in front of her, she refused to even look at them.

After a while, Su Su suddenly frowned and sniffed. Something was wrong! Why was there a faint smell of blood in the carriage?!

She suddenly looked up at Yu Yan, and only then noticed that his face was much paler than before, and even his lips were a sickly white.

"Are you injured?!" Su Su didn't care about anything else and sat down next to Yu Yan anxiously, wanting to see where he was injured.

Yu Yan didn't answer her, and didn't even want to lift her eyelids. She was such a soft-hearted little bodhisattva. She would probably be so anxious even if it was a stray dog injured on the roadside.

But he didn't need it. He just felt like there was a big hole in his heart, and the injuries on his body were nothing.

Because Yu Yan was wearing a black suit with tight sleeves and flying fish clothes today, which made his wrists look slender, Su Su looked at him for a long time and finally noticed the wet spot on his cuffs.

Pulling his sleeves open, Su Su couldn't help but exclaim, how could it be so serious!

Yu Yan's wrists were covered with scars, not only knife wounds but also burns, and now there were several more bloody wounds.

With trembling hands, she lifted up his other sleeve and did the same there.

Yu Yan...is self-harming?

"Why...why..." If he had no choice but to be bullied before, now that he has all the power in the government and no one can hurt him at all, why would he hurt himself...

"Heh..." Yu Yan finally opened his eyes, and a mocking snort came from his nose. He withdrew his hand, and a few drops of blood fell on Su Su's dress.

What else could he do? How could he stop himself from going crazy? Listening to her moans, he felt almost suffocated by jealousy.

He couldn't kill his incompetent self, nor could he rush out and kill Li Xinglan without hesitation. What could he do? Besides self-harming to distract himself, what else could he do?

No matter how dumb Su Su was, she should have guessed his reaction. He knew everything that happened last night.

"I'm sorry..." Su Su didn't know what to do. She could only apologize. She only hated that she couldn't be split into three pieces. They could just share it.

"Let me call someone to bandage you." As she said that, Su Su wanted to get up and call for help, but was held back by Yu Yan.

At this moment, he put aside all his calculations, with only confusion in his eyes. He frowned slightly, and his brokenness made people feel pity. "If I can accept them, will you love me?"

Yu Yan's humble words completely confused Su Su. She looked at him in disbelief and did not answer for a long time. This did not sound like a question he could ask at all.

Maybe he asked himself many times in his heart what he should do to stay with her. Maybe he thought about many answers before coming to this result that went against his own will.

Su Su turned around and sat back down, looking into Yu Yan's fragile eyes. She asked, "Yu Yan, do you really love me?"

Love? Yu Yan was even more confused. He was silent for a long time, and Su Su quietly accompanied him in his thoughts.

What is love to her? Unable to come up with an answer, he could only ask Su Su, "What do you think is love?"

Su Su shook her head. "Everyone has a different answer, but for me and Gou Ge, love is freedom, not possession. It's about wanting to give everything for him. As long as he's happy, I'm willing to do anything..."

Everyone is proud and no one wants to share their favorite, including Shang Shiyu. He is very domineering, but he is also willing to be under Li Xinglan. Thinking about it, she feels ashamed. This is how ancient men with three wives and four concubines felt.

"You can only ask your own heart." Su Su pointed at Yu Yan's heart, "Maybe you don't love me, but I just happened to appear by your side when you were in your darkest time.

You saw me as your salvation, so you wanted to keep me by your side, but you are very strong now, Yu Yan, you don’t need salvation anymore.”

"Ask yourself, seeing your lonely back makes me sad too. Maybe it's because I used to be Lin Xuejian who feels sorry for you, but I am Su Su now. I am the Su Su who wants to stay with Li Xinglan. He needs me, and so do I."

Su Su said a lot. She had wanted to have a good talk with Yu Yan for a long time. These were all her thoughts. "Yu Yan, maybe you should let go of the past and move on."

Yu Yan lowered her eyes, looked at her wrist covered in scars, and murmured to herself, "If I move forward, you won't be there, right?"

This question made Su Su not know how to respond. She could only say weakly, "Maybe?"

There was another long silence. Yu Yan couldn't see through his own heart, but he only understood one thing.

He raised his eyes to look at Su Su, his eyes were rare gentle and firm, "Love does have a thousand ways, but I am sure that I love you, and I am also sure that you will love me at that time."

He didn't believe that everything that happened before was just because of the loneliness of the two of them relying on each other in the deep palace. He would always remember the look she gave him, which was full of tenderness and love.

It's just that she has met a better love now, the love she wants, so he will change his way. He is confident that he can make her fall in love with him again.

Yu Yan buried his head in Su Su's chest and said, "Give me a chance to prove myself."

He will go against his nature, abandon all calculations, and fight for a vague opportunity for himself.