Demon Lord 3

I won't talk about others this time, just myself. I calmed my mind and prepared to practice, but I found I couldn't even achieve the most basic tranquility. Suddenly, I realized the gap between myself and myself, and suddenly I felt terrified. If this continued, I wouldn't even be able to practice normally. I was exposed to these things every day. Deep in the mountains, perhaps I could still calm down and focus on my practice, but now, what could I do? All I could do was sit here and watch, watching from the sidelines? In the end, I'd become just another ordinary person, not a true practitioner. From a practitioner, I'd been reduced to a mere mortal. This pain was unbearable. I had thought life was a constant flow, but now it had brought me back to square one. My heart plummeted. I wanted to let all this go, but the more I thought about it, the less I could calm down. In a fit of rage, I smashed everything to pieces and sat in my room. I felt cut off from the world, as if I was of no use to this world. Wouldn't it be better if I just left it? Having such evil thoughts, I slapped myself a few times. It is definitely wrong to think like this. I have made some progress in my practice here. I used to know nothing, but now I have become a know-it-all, a leader in the team, and a leader all the time. Before, my father saw that there were some gaps in my state of mind, so he told me to concentrate on cultivating my state of mind. Now it is more in line with my soul, unlike before when the soul flew fast and the body caught up slowly, and then there would be a big problem in my state of mind. Discover the problem and make up for it in time. This is the most useful sentence I have ever thought about. But now it seems that for me, I can't formally apply it, especially now. Not only can I not stabilize my mind, but my young meridians can't be formally opened. Maybe when a strong enemy comes in the future, I will only have an empty shell and can't use any strength. How depressed I will be. I feel helpless when I think of this. I feel a little impatient, and I also feel that I have nothing to do. For so many days, it seems that I have delayed everything I have. I have been thinking about practicing later, but I kept putting it off. Now I have entered a big bottleneck period. If I can't turn the tide, then I can only suffer here. It was a painful ordeal. I met so many people and witnessed so many things, which eventually caused my own cultivation to be delayed. If I keep delaying like this, I will be hopeless. Thinking about this, my heart became even more restless. I wanted to run away, but I found that I couldn't move at all. I was trapped here. It seemed that I could only leave when I stabilized my mind. To be honest, every second I was here was torture. It seemed that I couldn't calm down. My mind felt like there were ten thousand ants crawling on my body. These ants were there talking about me, saying that my cultivation was not diligent enough, and then jumping around on my head, which also planted a seed of sadness in my heart. Especially those seeds were slowly taking root and sprouting, and finally I couldn't even calm down. I was even more upset and even wanted to commit suicide. This kind of suicide refers to suicide of the soul, not suicide of the body. If it continues like this, I will definitely go astray. The "wandering into the underworld" mentioned here is different from true demonic cultivation. True "membrane" is a combination of body and soul, while "wandering into the underworld" only refers to some serious problems with the soul. If I truly become possessed this time, no one will be able to save me. The important people around me are far away and aren't even around right now. If anything goes wrong and no one can reach me in time, I'll be on my own. When I reach the underworld, even if I die inexplicably, many will laugh at me. In that case, I'll have lost all face. Even if they can rescue me, I won't be able to face anyone in the future. Thinking of this, I decided I must not do this. Yes, everything is wrong. My father always taught me to be calm and composed from the day I was born. But now I've forgotten everything, even those few words that were the key to success. It seems that my abilities are gradually increasing, and that will also lead to some bad things.