Daily Emotional Q&A

Section 1. The psychological reasons why children fight over things

1. Intuitive Worldview and Egocentrism

Children often have an intuitive and direct worldview. They tend to be self-centered and have difficulty understanding the feelings and needs of others. In their perception, the world revolves around them, and their own needs and desires are paramount. Therefore, when they see something they like, they instinctively want it, without giving much thought to whether it belongs to others. This intuitive worldview and self-centeredness are a major reason why children fight over things.

2. Limited cognitive abilities

During the early childhood stage, children's cognitive abilities are not yet fully developed, and their understanding of abstract concepts such as ownership and sharing is relatively limited. In their eyes, anything they like is theirs, regardless of who originally owned it. This limited cognitive ability makes it easier for children to take direct and primitive approaches to acquiring something they like—that is, to fight for it in order to achieve ownership.

3. Curiosity and Desire to Explore

Children are full of curiosity about the things around them and are eager to understand the world through touching and trying things. During their exploration, they may mistake someone else's belongings for their own, or believe that an object has a special appeal to them. In these situations, they may develop a strong desire to possess the object and try to fight for it. This curiosity and desire to explore are another key factor driving children's fighting for things.

4. Influence of Family and Social Environment

In addition to the psychological factors mentioned above, family and social environments also have a significant impact on children's fighting behavior. A lack of sharing and cooperation in the family environment, or parents' overly harsh or permissive approach to handling their children's fighting behavior, can lead to children developing unhealthy fighting habits. Furthermore, social factors that discourage sharing and cooperation, such as an overemphasis on individualism and competition, can also negatively impact children's fighting behavior.

5. The Importance of Education and Guidance

To address the psychological reasons why children fight over things, effective educational and guidance measures are needed. First, parents should establish correct educational concepts and focus on cultivating a spirit of sharing and cooperation in their children. Second, parents should patiently guide their children to understand abstract concepts such as ownership and sharing, helping them develop a correct worldview and values. Furthermore, parents can use games and stories to cultivate their children's empathy and emotional cognition, teaching them to consider others' perspectives. Finally, parents should adopt a gentle yet firm attitude when dealing with their children's fighting behavior, ensuring that their children understand their mistakes while also providing them with the opportunity and space to correct them.

Section 2. How parents deal with children's behavior of fighting over things

1. Clarify education and guidance

1. Emphasize the importance of respecting others

Parents should clearly teach their children that it is impolite to take other people's things without permission. We should respect other people's ownership and feelings and not infringe on their interests. This kind of education will help children develop correct moral values and form good behavioral habits.

2. Cultivate children's awareness of sharing

Parents should teach their children to share, letting them understand that sharing can bring happiness and friendship. When children want something from someone else, parents can guide them to first ask if the other person is willing to share. If the other person agrees, they can play together. If the other person disagrees, they need to respect the other person's decision and not force the fight.

3. Educate through stories and games

Parents can help children learn the importance of sharing and respecting others in a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere through storytelling and role-playing. For example, parents can tell stories about sharing and friendship to help children understand that sharing can bring friendship and happiness. Parents can also organize role-playing games to let children play different roles and experience the feelings of sharing and respecting others.

2. Establish clear rules

1. Establish family rules

To help children better understand the concepts of sharing and waiting, parents can establish some rules at home. For example, they can stipulate that toys must be shared and not monopolized; that children should not fight over others' belongings in public; and that children should wait until everyone is present at the table before starting to eat. These rules can help children develop good habits and learn to wait and respect others.

2. Strictly enforce the rules

After establishing rules, parents must strictly enforce them and not arbitrarily change or relax them. If children break the rules, parents must promptly correct and punish them, making sure they understand their behavior is wrong. Parents must also provide their children with guidance and support to help them correct their behavior.

3. Pay attention to children’s emotions and needs

1. Understand your child’s emotions

When children engage in grabbing behaviors, parents need to understand their emotions and needs. Children may develop a strong possessiveness because of their love for a toy. In this case, parents need to patiently soothe their children's emotions and guide them to correctly express their needs and wishes.

2. Meet children’s reasonable needs

When meeting children's needs, parents need to pay attention to the rationality and feasibility of their children's requests. If the child's request is reasonable, parents can try their best to meet their needs; if the child's request is unreasonable or unattainable, parents need to patiently explain and guide the child to understand that their request is unrealistic.

4. Create a positive family atmosphere

1. Create a harmonious family atmosphere

The family atmosphere plays a crucial role in a child's development. A harmonious and warm family atmosphere can make children feel safe and happy, reducing their anxiety and restlessness. Therefore, parents need to strive to create a positive family atmosphere so that their children can feel happy and grow in the family.

2. Establish a close parent-child relationship

A close parent-child relationship fosters greater trust in children and encourages them to share their concerns and feelings. Therefore, parents need to communicate with their children, understand their needs and perspectives, and provide them with adequate care and support. At the same time, parents should respect their children's individuality and wishes and refrain from excessively interfering in their lives and development.

5. Seek professional help

1. Consult a professional

If a child's fighting behavior persists and cannot be effectively improved, parents can seek professional help. For example, they can consult a psychologist or child education expert to understand the child's psychological condition and behavioral characteristics and obtain more professional guidance and advice.

2. Participate in relevant courses and activities

In addition, parents can also take their children to participate in some courses and activities related to sharing and cooperation. These courses and activities can help children learn skills such as how to get along with others, how to share and cooperate, and thus improve their fighting behavior.