Abstinence Pei, don't be too sweet when chasing your wife

The light bulb in the dormitory flickered, and the dim light illuminated the archaeological tools piled in the corner.

Ling Jiuer squatted by the basin, scrubbing her overalls. Her hands were covered in soap foam. Suddenly, she looked up at Gu Fanxing, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes gleaming with gossip. "Xingxing, did Pei Luonan explain to you about that Long Weiwei thing?"

Gu Fanxing was using a cotton swab to clean the dirt from between her nails. Hearing this, she paused, the coolness of her fingertips seeping into her heart along her skin. She tossed the cotton swab into the trash can, her voice soft as if she wasn't afraid of disturbing anything: "No."

"No?" Ling Jiuer stood up suddenly, banging the washboard in her hand against the edge of the basin. "Didn't he tell you that it was fake? Long Weiwei staged it all herself! The last Pei family dinner was exposed, and Kong Haoyu already sent a lawyer's letter to refute the rumors. The marriage proposal and the group photo were all deliberately fabricated by the Long family!"

Gu Fanxing's pupils suddenly contracted, as if pierced by a bright light. She stared at Ling Jiuer blankly, her lips moving for a long time before she managed to squeeze out a sentence: "You said... it's all fake?"

"Absolutely true!" Ling Jiuer came over and sat down next to her, her tone anxious and angry, "I thought he had explained everything to you a long time ago, but he didn't say anything? Did he get kicked in the head by a donkey? He left a good girl alone and pretended to be ignorant when he knew the truth?"

It turns out that those sensational reports and those speculations that kept her tossing and turning were all false?

Gu Fanxing's heart felt like it was being clenched by a hand, then suddenly released. A mixture of bitterness and bewilderment made it almost impossible for her to breathe. She remembered how Pei Luonan had looked at her in the hospital, with a complex look she couldn't decipher; how he'd occasionally frowned at his phone, yet she'd assumed he was contacting Long Weiwei; how she'd wanted to ask, "Is that news true?" so many times, only to swallow the words back. It turned out she wasn't afraid of the truth, but the answer he might give.

But why didn't he say it?

"Maybe... he thinks it's unnecessary." Gu Fanxing lowered his head, his gaze falling on the cracks in the bed, and his voice was as low as a mosquito's hum, "After all, we didn't have much of a relationship to begin with."

"It's nothing?" Ling Jiuer was almost laughing with anger. She reached out and poked her arm. "It's nothing that he braved a flash flood to save you? It's nothing that he curled the edges of your archaeological notes? Last time you casually mentioned that you liked the candied cakes from the south of the city, and he asked his assistant to go out of his way to buy them the next day. You call this nothing?"

These words were like little hammers, hitting Gu Fanxing's heart again and again.

Those details that she deliberately ignored were broken down and laid out in front of her by Ling Jiuer: he remembered that she didn't eat onions, ginger and garlic, and would silently offer her warm water when she coughed. He even knew that she preferred to use a desk lamp instead of a ceiling light when reading documents... She was not unaware of these subtle acts of tenderness, but she just didn't dare to take them seriously.

"If he doesn't say it, then there's no need to say it." Gu Fanxing's voice suddenly turned cold, like the surface of a lake blown by a mountain breeze. "Jiu'er, some things must be said to count. He's hiding it, either because he thinks I'm unimportant, or... he's been playing along with me from beginning to end."

Ling Jiuer was so blocked by her that she couldn't speak. Looking at her tense profile, she felt angry and anxious.

She knew Gu Fanxing's weakness - she seemed independent and strong, but in fact she lacked a sense of security more than anyone else. What she wanted was never a grand promise, just a clear statement and an undoubted attitude.

But Pei Luonan made a mistake at this most critical point.

"I think he's just conceited!" Ling Jiuer angrily grabbed the apple on the table and slammed it against the bed. "Does he think that just because he's handsome and rich, girls should chase him? When I get back, I'm going to confront him and ask him if he thinks it's fun to bully you!"

Gu Fanxing looked at the apple that had been slapped and rolled twice, and suddenly remembered the way Pei Luonan peeled apples. He always used a silver folding knife, his movements not very skilled, but extremely careful, the peel connected into a whole strip, and finally tied a small knot at the top, like a work of art.

"Don't go." She said softly, "It's meaningless."

"Why is it meaningless?"

"Because...we didn't have any relationship in the first place." Gu Fanxing's voice was as calm as a pool of stagnant water. She raised her head, with a kind of almost resolute fatigue in her eyes. "It's not surprising that he doesn't want to talk about it. Jiuer, I'm tired."

Tired of guessing and testing, tired of the torment of worrying about gains and losses, tired of exhausting my last bit of courage in this unclear relationship.

Ling Jiuer looked at the fatigue in her eyes, and the anger in her heart gradually dissipated, leaving only heartache. She reached out and hugged Gu Fanxing, resting her chin on her shoulder: "It's okay, there are many good men in the world."

"Yeah." Gu Fanxing leaned in her arms, smelling the familiar earthy scent on her body, his eyes suddenly feeling a little warm. "Once the work here is finished, I will apply for a transfer to the new site in the northwest. The conditions there are tough and the project period is long, so it's just right... quiet."

"Are you stupid?" Ling Jiuer hit her without using much force. "For someone who doesn't care about you, is it really that serious?"

"It's not for him." Gu Fanxing shook her head, a faint smile playing on the corner of her mouth. "It's for myself. I have to go back to where I should be and do what I should do."

The place where she should be is a ruin with the fragrance of earth, a workbench where she can talk to thousand-year-old porcelain pieces, and a world where she can live a stable and secure life even without Pei Luonan.

That night, Gu Fanxing had a dream.

In her dream, she returned to Pei Luonan's apartment. The setting sun shone through the floor-to-ceiling windows onto the floor. He was sitting on the sofa reading documents, with the beige blanket she had knitted covering his right leg.

She walked over and wanted to ask him about Long Weiwei, but her throat seemed to be blocked and she couldn't make a sound.

He raised his head, looked at her and smiled, the tenderness in his eyes was like the tide, but when she reached out to touch him, he suddenly turned into smoke and disappeared without a trace.

She woke up suddenly. The moonlight outside the window was shining through the dilapidated window frame, casting mottled light and shadows on the ground, which looked very much like the scattered porcelain pieces in the ruins.

She took out her cell phone, the screen was dark, there were no missed calls and no messages.

Yeah.

In this way, when you leave, you won’t have so many worries and regrets.

The next morning, Gu Fanxing arrived at the ruins before anyone else.

The mountain fog had not yet dissipated, carrying the fragrance of grass and trees. She knelt at the edge of the exploration area, stepping on the dew, and gently moved the small brush in her hand across the porcelain pieces. Her movements were so focused as if she was performing a sacred ritual.

A piece of porcelain with dark patterns gradually emerged. The patterns were delicate, but there was a clear crack at the edge.

Gu Fanxing paused, and his fingertips gently brushed across the crack, feeling as if something had stabbed his heart.

Perhaps, there was no special relationship between her and Pei Luonan. Apart from that contractual relationship, they were actually two familiar strangers. Even if there were some other thoughts before, they were just the sequelae of acting and had no substantive meaning.

Ling Jiuer stood at the door of the tent, looked at her back and sighed.

That's it.

When it comes to love, those who are involved are ultimately the most confused.

All she could do was accompany Gu Fanxing to do her job here well and unconditionally support any decision she made. As for the rest, perhaps she could only leave it to time to solve it.

But she really couldn't understand why Pei Luonan, who looked as shrewd as an old fox, would make such a mistake at such a time. He didn't cherish such a good girl, but had to play the "silence is golden" game. I'm afraid it's really... He must have been kicked in the head by a donkey.

The mountain breeze swept across the ruins, picking up a few yellow fallen leaves and landing them on Gu Fanxing's work clothes.

She raised her hand to brush away the fallen leaves, her eyes still fixed on the sleeping porcelain pieces, as if all the answers that would give her peace of mind were hidden there.

But she didn't see that the moment she lowered her head, a drop of transparent water fell into the mud and spread out silently, like an unspoken sigh.