Don't think of rebirth.

Chapter 468 Cowardice

When Ke Xik saw the long text sent by Shi Guanghui, he was stunned for a long time.

When he read it for the first time, he could understand the meaning of the words, but he had no way to think about the answers to the questions.

He sat on the edge of the bed in a daze for a while, only coming back to his senses when his phone vibrated again after receiving a message.

Shi Guanghui probably thought that he didn't see the question, so she didn't push him to answer. She just said, "Take your time to think about it. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

Koshik silently scrolled up the chat history and looked at the question again.

Is it that his mother can’t accept him leaving the film club, or that she can’t accept him breaking away from her arrangements?

Koshik remembered what Conara had said just now and felt that the answer was not a simple choice between the two.

Cornara wanted him to stay in the film club to gain experience, but she wanted his past to be marked with the mark of "having once joined the Mingde Film Appreciation Club".

She didn't even care how he got along with other members, but it might be that the member who covered for him last time, family background didn't matter to her.

From this point of view, Cornara has made detailed plans for his life, and she may really want him to have an ideal future.

However, in that future, Koshik could not see his own color.

Can't leave the film club - probably about 30%? If he really quits the club due to external factors, Cornara should make new arrangements for him.

Therefore, the proportion of respondents who “cannot accept him deviating from their own arrangements” is still larger.

The second question is, can his mother accept that he has other interests and hobbies?

This question really hit Koshik hard, as he had never considered the option of "simultaneously".

The habit he developed since childhood was to do what Conara said, otherwise he would be a disobedient child.

As time went by and he did it more often, he became more and more accustomed to giving up thinking and just accepting things.

The more Koshik thought about it, the more excited he became. He even stood up from the bed and paced back and forth in the room, wondering if he could talk to Cornara.

He will no longer resist the film club, will write reports well, and delve into various theories, as long as it allows him to take care of photography!

However, when his hand grasped the cold door handle, Koshik came to his senses again.

He stood there like a statue.

There was no way Koshik could guarantee that he would get Cornara's consent. If she didn't agree, he would not only be reprimanded, but his hobby of photography would also be exposed.

By then, Conara's control over him will only become more severe, and it might even lead to Shi Guanghui being held responsible.

The scene of him kneeling at the door in order to stop Cornara from holding the members accountable came to his mind again.

In fact, Koshik did not feel ashamed or helpless at that time. He only knew that by grasping this point, he could stop Cornara.

In this way, the member who kindly helps him will not be affected.

Who can guarantee that Conara will not vent her anger on Shi Guanghui?

Koshik didn't want to cause any more trouble for Shi Guanghui or anyone else. If Shi Guanghui was not willing to listen to his explanation, if it were someone else, after knowing the situation of the film club, they would definitely cut off ties with him.

The thought of being hated by the person he admired and longed for made Koshik unable to open the door.

As long as I do nothing, I can maintain the status quo, right? He thought helplessly.

On the contrary, if he raised it, even if the result was the best, it might be the worst.

Reality is more likely to tend towards the worst outcome, so it’s better not to do it.

Koshik loosened his grip on the door handle, turned stiffly back to the bed, and lay face down on it.

He once again realized his own cowardice and incompetence, and felt a trace of regret.

You shouldn't greet Shi Guanghui, you shouldn't ask him for advice, and you shouldn't acknowledge him as your teacher.

He can't get rid of his family's control at all and will only let down other people's kindness.

The room was quiet late at night, without any sound, as if the stars had fallen into a quagmire, without a single ray of light.

Koshik didn't know when he fell asleep. He didn't even change his clothes and his eyes were dry and sore.

When I washed my face in the morning, I applied a towel to it for a long time before I felt better.

Before Kodriano and Cornara came out of the bedroom, the nanny brought breakfast to Koshik. He ate it hastily and couldn't help looking back at the door when he left home.

Perhaps only when he was at school could he temporarily unchain some of the chains.

Koshik finished his morning class quietly. The person sitting next to him asked him curiously, "Are you feeling unwell today?"

Koshik shook his head and asked her why she said that.

The guy sitting next to me thought for a moment and said, "I just feel like you don't have much energy. Weren't you excitedly looking at the photos on your phone after class these past few days? You didn't even look at them today."

Koshik forced a smile and said, "It's a bit uncomfortable."

The person at the next table immediately said, "Then do you want to go to the infirmary to rest?"

"No need, I'll just sit quietly for a while." Koshik quickly stopped her.

The person at the next table said "Oh", and seeing that he did not have any obvious physical discomfort, he went about his own business.

After the morning class, Koshik had no plan to look for Shi Guanghui. He wanted to sort out his thoughts.

But he didn't expect that as soon as he walked out of the teaching building, he saw Shi Guanghui and Gu Qinghuan on the way to the cafeteria.

Shi Guanghui had good eyesight and spotted him in the crowd. She waved at him, "Keshik!"

Koshik could only walk towards him: "Teacher."

Shi Guanghui introduced Gu Qinghuan to him: "This is our class monitor, Gu Qinghuan, you should know her, right?"

Koshik nodded and greeted Gu Qinghuan again: "Hello."

"Hello, let's have lunch together at noon today and then talk after dinner." Gu Qinghuan said with a smile.

As payment for the psychological counseling, Shi Guanghui invited her to have lunch in a small private room on the second floor at noon today, so the three of them could talk together.

Of course Gu Qinghuan would not refuse his own reward, and he was quite enthusiastic about it.

The three of them went to the second floor of the cafeteria and sat down. Ke Xike wanted to treat them but was stopped by Shi Guanghui.

"Today's party is organized by me, so of course I should treat you." Shi Guanghui acted like a teacher, "Just listen to what our class monitor says later."

There was no need to talk about unhappy things during lunch time, so Shi Guanghui did not ask Koshik for the answers to those questions.

He also noticed that Koshik was not in a good mood today. He was probably affected by those problems and had some thoughts.

The atmosphere at the dinner table was a bit heavy at first, but fortunately Gu Qinghuan found topics to talk about, asking them what photos they had taken recently and where the most beautiful spring scenery was on campus.

Koshik's mood was gradually aroused, and more importantly, as they talked, he found that he still liked photography very much.

Just talking about those views, he couldn't help but think about the composition and when the light would be best.

He didn't notice when he stopped talking, he just stared at his hands.

“I like photography,” Kosik said suddenly.

I like it so much that I am willing to bet on that tiny possibility for it.

How long can the courage he now has can last? Can he stand in front of his mother?

He didn't know, but he was sure that this cowardly courage would continue to gather until the moment of explosion came.