Shengjing Noble

Su Lanyin looked at him seriously and asked, "What about you? You seem to have never talked about your mother."

Huo Jingxiao was stunned for a moment. Perhaps it was because he had been drinking, the memories that he originally didn't want to touch were brought up.

"Actually, I want to go to the Northern Territory just to find my mother."

"I thought she was gone..."

"When I was a child, every time I wanted my mother, my father told me that she was gone. But some time ago, I found the farewell letter my mother left behind in his study."

"A farewell letter?"

"Well... it's also a stain on our Nanjiang Palace. My father didn't want anyone to know, not even me, but in fact my mother eloped with someone and left Nanjiang."

Su Lanyin was shocked: "The Princess of Southern Xinjiang... eloped with someone?"

"Ok!"

"why?"

Huo Jingxiao said: "At that time, I also wanted to know why. I went to ask my father, but he had no choice but to tell me the truth."

"Before my mother got married, she had already secretly agreed to spend her life with her childhood sweetheart, but due to family pressure, she had no choice but to marry my father. After the marriage, she was always unhappy and even became ill."

"After giving birth to me, my mother once wanted to commit suicide. No matter how good my father was to her, in her eyes, he was not as good as a hair of her childhood sweetheart."

"My father was tired and didn't want to lower his head to coax her anymore, so he put all his thoughts on me. Who knew that my mother would take the opportunity to contact her childhood sweetheart privately."

"On the day of my fifth birthday, my mother eloped with that man and left Southern Xinjiang. When my father found out, he completely gave up and didn't intend to pursue the matter. He just told everyone that she had died of a sudden serious illness."

"Since then, my mother has completely died in everyone's mind, and my father has been dedicated to protecting me until I grew up, until I saw the farewell letter my mother left in the secret compartment of his study."

"To be honest, my mother not only abandoned my father, but also abandoned me. It was really too cruel for me. I can't accept it. I want to meet her and see what path she has chosen and whether she has regretted it."

Huo Jingxiao held his forehead with both hands, his expression painful and sad, like a pitiful child abandoned by the whole world.

Su Lanyin couldn't help but comfort him, raising her hand and gently placing it on his shoulder.

"How do you know she is in the Northern Territory?"

"My father told me that when my mother left, he was worried that she would be in danger, so he sent people to follow her secretly, but they did not disturb her. Only when he saw that she had settled down did he let those people withdraw."

"So your father could have captured her, but he let her be with that man?"

"Well, I didn't understand it before and thought that my father was useless. But now I think about it, he must have suffered a lot, but in the end he chose to forgive, not only for my mother, but more for me. He didn't want me to face the situation where my parents turned against each other."

Su Lanyin said with emotion: "Your father is so kind..."

"Yes, my father is really the best father in the world. What about you? What is your father like? On the way back, I only heard your third brother talk about mother, but he never mentioned your father."

Huo Jingxiao's questions really touched upon her blind spots in knowledge. She lowered her head and thought for a long time, but she had no impression of anything at all.

"I don't remember...but I heard from my third brother that he went there. My father was a very bad person. He didn't tell me in detail how bad he was."

"So...where's your mother?"

"My third brother did tell me about my mother. She is a very good, kind and gentle person. Not only does she love me and my brothers, she is also willing to sacrifice her own happiness for us. Just knowing this is enough for me."

"So you're still afraid to meet her?"

"It's not fear... it's guilt... How could I forget my relatives, but I clearly remember my maid."

Huo Jingxiao said: "Is there a possibility that you accidentally forgot it?"

"What is unintentional deliberateness?"

"That's it... I've heard of a saying that people will subconsciously forget painful memories. Maybe your family has brought you painful memories, so you're afraid of being hurt and simply forget about it."

"How is it possible! My family loves me so much, how could they let me suffer?"

"Maybe it's not them who make you suffer, but what kind of hurt have they suffered, and you feel pain when you think about it?"

Su Lanyin looked at him blankly, and suddenly, something flashed through her mind, making her extremely painful.

Lu Wanjun was put into a pig cage...Su Shengyan died tragically...Su Shengyun's body was covered with abscesses...Su Shengming was turned into a human pig...

These images were buried under the mottled bloodstains, making her feel so painful that she could hardly breathe.

“Uh…don’t…”

Su Lanyin covered her head and curled up in pain.

Seeing her like this, Huo Jingxiao hurriedly asked with concern: "Are you okay? Su Lanyin, what's wrong with you? I'm sorry, I shouldn't say this, I'll help you find a doctor..."

He was about to get up and go down, but Su Lanyin grabbed the hem of his clothes.

"Don't, don't go... I don't want to make... Third Brother worry... I will be fine..."

After saying that, she squatted there with her head covered and curled up to relax for a long time. The pain in her head that felt like it was splitting apart finally subsided.

She took a swig of wine to try to numb her mind, then lay on the roof, gasping for air.

"Maybe it's true as you said. My family must have gone through a lot of hardships. If I don't dare to face them because of my amnesia, it will only make them more sad."

"Yes, any relationship can be rebuilt, not to mention that you are family."

Su Lanyin nodded in agreement: "You are right. Then...if you meet your mother and she accepts you, will you forgive her and rebuild your relationship with her?"

Huo Jingxiao hesitated, then shook his head: "I can't do it, because I hate her. You know, hatred is harder to let go than love."

"Then do you wish her a bad life?"

"I...I don't know either. I want her to regret it, but I'm also afraid that she'll end up in a really miserable situation. I'm afraid I can't help but feel pity for her."

"Maybe this isn't as bad as you think."

"You're right. Anyway, I just need to see her once and then I won't think about it anymore. Otherwise, it might become a lifelong obsession."

"I thought your father would not stop you from coming out to look for her, but why did you leave secretly?"

"He raised me alone because he felt guilty, but I couldn't let go of my mother... No matter if he agreed to let me go or not, I didn't dare to face him. I knew I was sorry for him, but he was still the one I loved the most, and I just couldn't accept it..."

Su Lanyin could see Huo Jingxiao's dilemma. He was not unwilling, he just wanted it.