Searching for Treasures in the Clouds

Yu Ru hid in the closet and didn't come out. She stayed there for so long that she fell asleep without realizing it.

After an unknown amount of time, she suddenly woke up, her body immediately sent her a warning of discomfort, one of her shoulders was completely numb, and her waist seemed to be out of place and painful. She sat in the closet and rubbed her shoulders, waiting for the numbness to disappear a little before opening the closet door and walking out.

She placed her cell phone on the table, picked it up and saw that it was almost one o'clock. It seemed like not much time had passed, but no, it was also a long time.

It's past dinner time, Yunjixing should have left, definitely left, right? What else can he do here? And in that situation, anyone would leave, right?

Thinking of this, Yu Ru felt a little sad again. She stood there for a while, then sat down at the table, took out a pen and paper and started writing. She wanted to write a letter to Yun Jixing, to make it clear. She couldn't go on like this, it was a torture for her, and probably for him too.

……

After writing the letter, Yu Ru went out holding the envelope.

The living room was empty, no one was there, and it was so cold and quiet that it was frightening. She stood there quietly for a moment, then put the envelope on the sofa and turned to walk towards the kitchen.

What she didn't expect was that Yun Jixing did not leave, but was cooking in the kitchen. With one hand he was mixing meat or something in the bowl, and with the other hand he was holding a cell phone and talking on the phone.

She could clearly hear what he said, which was about work. This made her feel bad, and at that moment, she seemed to have completely pardoned Yun Jixing and released him from the prison cell in her heart that held suspicious elements.

This discovery was so terrifying that she wanted to escape the scene and hide in the closet, but her feet were nailed to the spot and she couldn't move.

"I may not be able to go today. I think there is nothing wrong with the document. You just need to sign it for me. That's it. I have other things to do. If I can't go there this afternoon, if you are unsure, just take a photo and show it to me. I will verbally authorize you to handle it. If it's not urgent, I will handle it tomorrow."

I don't know what the other party said. Yun Jixing said "thank you" and hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket. After putting the phone away, he held the bowl with one hand and stirred the contents of the bowl with the other hand.

Yu Ru looked at him, wanting to go over, but not wanting to, so she just stood there and watched. Fortunately, Yun Jixing quickly noticed her presence and made a decision for her.

"Aru."

Yun Jixing turned around and saw her standing at the door, so he immediately walked towards her with the bowl in his hand.

He had a gentle smile on his face, as if what happened today had not happened, but if you look closely, you can tell that he has some concerns, because he is a little tentative and cautious.

"Aru, today... I was reckless again. I hope you can forgive me. Are you feeling better now?"

Yu Ru looked at him and nodded.

"Then..." Yun Jixing turned his head and glanced at the pot on the gas stove. "The meal will be ready soon. I'll stir-fry two more dishes and then we can eat. You take a rest first. I'll call you to eat later."

Yu Ru nodded again. Somehow, she felt her legs go a little weak, but she didn't show it. Instead, she forced herself to leave the kitchen as if nothing had happened.

……

After Yun Jixing prepared all the dishes and moved them to the dining room, he went to the living room to find Yu Ru.

Yu Ru was sitting on the sofa, leaning against it, staring in one direction with sad eyes.

He walked lightly, and when he got close to her, he called out, "Aru, it's time to eat. Let's eat. I stewed beef with potatoes today. You should like it. It may be a little greasy, but Grandpa Wei said it's okay to eat it once in a while, so don't eat it often."

Hearing this, Yu Ru turned and looked at him.

After staring at him for a while, she straightened up slightly, picked up the written letter that had been placed aside, stood up, walked to Yun Jixing and handed the letter to him with both hands.

Yun Jixing took the envelope, looked at it quickly, raised his eyes and asked, "Aru, did you write this?"

Yu Ru nodded, "Open it now and take a look."

After the demonstration, she didn't care about Yun Jixing's reaction and went straight back to the sofa, snuggled up and grabbed the blanket to wrap herself. After that, she closed her eyes.

Seeing her like this, Yun Jixing stopped talking and asking more questions. After thinking for a while, he walked to the sofa a little distance away from Yu Ru and sat down, then began to read the letter in his hand.

This is a letter of a thousand words, written in an ancient and beautiful style, yet sad and sentimental, deeply moving.

The letter read: Actually, I still don't trust you very much. Everything happened so unexpectedly and so suddenly. Many times, I would suspect that the you in front of me was not you, but a disguised you, but I couldn't find any flaws, and I still had no reason to push you away.

But no matter you are pretending or real, I want to give you this evaluation with a sentence from Laozi's "Tao Te Ching": square but not cutting, honest but not sharp, straight but not wanton, shining but not dazzling. Very rare and amazing, it is the Hebi Suizhu, which is rare in the sky and hard to find on the ground. It is like the orchid that grows in the deep valley in the dream, with a delicate fragrance, far-reaching fragrance, and unforgettable smell. It is also a verdant green bamboo, modest and restrained, empty and quiet, exuding a lush and moist air. It is also like a ray of compassion from the Bodhisattva, with benevolence and righteousness, warm and moist. In addition, you are really good to me, it can be said to be perfect, I have to admit that I have uncontrollable feelings for you.

But I think you still don’t know me well enough. What you like and what you love is just the me in your imagination. If you really understand me, you probably won’t want to spend the rest of your life with me, because you can see the result before you even pursue me.

I am a country person, and you are a city person. I don't think being a country person makes me feel inferior or anything like that. Here, I deliberately emphasize this kind of thing to you, that is, I want to say, plants and trees moisten the nature, dust and noise disturb the heart, I only want to know more about plants and trees and less about people. I was born in a natural and simple mountain forest wilderness, I am used to being wrapped in soil, and I am attached to that simplicity. Only in the simple and vast countryside can I be truly free. And you, born in a prosperous economy, have been in a world of flowers and brocade since birth. I think this world of dense population and abundance is just a mediocre norm for you.

Can you understand the simplicity of my thinking? Can I adapt to your magnificence? It is an irrefutable truth that a good match is made between two people of equal social status.

More importantly, and also very crucially, I feel that I am not suitable to be with a man, or in other words, I am not suitable for marriage. I like to pursue the so-called sense of security the most, and it has reached the point where I hate it myself. If you are with me, I may hope that you will constantly prove to me that you love me. In that case, it would be too tiring. I can't even accept myself, let alone another person?

Seeing this, you may tell me that you can, you can definitely prove it to me and give me everything I want. So, putting all this aside, what if I tell you that some special experiences make me afraid of having sex? I think a stable relationship must be a combination of physical and psychological likes. If we are really together, but there may not be sex between us, can you accept it?

I think a normal person would not accept this. "Food, sex, and love are the greatest desires of human beings." Everyone has desires and needs. If you don't have sex or even can't have sex when your sexual desire is at its strongest, how long do you think such a relationship can last?

That's why I say that being together is a devastating blow to each other, and not being together is a way to save each other's dignity. I don't really want to analyze the nature of people with you. Sometimes, keeping a vague feeling is the best way to preserve feelings. It's not a good thing to be too much of a philosopher in love.

Maybe I have fallen in love with you, but it is better for us not to be together. I will also try my best to weaken my feelings for you.

Thank you and I'm sorry.