Searching for Treasures in the Clouds

There are two saddest things in Yun Jixing's life. One is that he failed to protect his home, and the other is that he let his loved ones suffer in silence.

He is forty-six years old, and today marks the fourth anniversary of the death of his wife Yu Ru.

It was late at night, but he was not sleepy at all. Instead, he was still very awake. He sat on the bed and looked through Yu Ru's photos.

The photos in the album were basically taken before Yu Ru was 25 years old, when she was the healthiest in her adult life. Later, Yu Ru married him, and in order to take care of him, she worked too hard, was depressed, and had too many suppressed emotions, so she died of illness at the age of 40.

His family originally had some assets, but when he was just seventeen years old, the largest company under his father ran into some problems, and other businesses were also affected. It also happened that his father had just entered the real estate industry and failed to win the bid for a piece of land. Suddenly, he was unable to make ends meet and suddenly declared bankruptcy. As a result, his family owed a lot of debts, and even selling all the houses and cars was not enough to pay off the debts.

In the second year after his family went bankrupt, the debt collectors had a conflict with his father.

The other party came with a weapon, and during the dispute, one of them accidentally killed his father. However, the murderer was not punished because he had capital protection behind him, and is still at large.

From then on, their family lived a more difficult life. Due to the death of his father, his mother was overwhelmed with worry and left him half a year later.

The departure of his parents and the huge unpaid debt dealt him a heavy blow. For a long time, he was in an extremely negative and high-pressure state. Until later, he met Yu Ru. If she had not appeared, he would probably have committed suicide early.

The year they met, he was a junior and Yu Ru was just a freshman.

When they first met, he never thought that this girl would influence his life and make him remember her for the rest of his life.

Yun Jixing kept looking at the photo album in the same posture for a long time, and only came to his senses when his lower limbs became numb.

He held the album close to his face and rubbed it, then put it down and picked up the phone on the bedside table. He opened the secret album in his phone, which contained all the photos and videos related to Yu Ru. He would only take it out and look at it when he missed Yu Ru very much.

There were so many photos and videos that it was dizzying. He didn't choose and just randomly clicked on one of the videos to watch.

In this video, in the first few seconds, Yu Ru said happy birthday to him with a smile on her face.

"Happy birthday, little star! This year..."

Before he finished watching, he closed the video again, thought for a moment, and put his phone back on the bedside table.

In fact, looking at Yu Ru's photo, he no longer felt anything. Rather than feeling pain, he felt numbness. He could not understand pain, nor joy. But when he heard Yu Ru's voice, his heart would tremble, and his heart would stop or beat wildly. Only then did he realize that he was still a human being.

He sat on the bed in a daze for a while, then got up and walked towards a table in the room.

There were some bottles and jars on the table. He picked up a bottle and opened it, poured out a pill from it, and put it into his mouth with water.

These medicines are antidepressants.

After his parents passed away, he encountered a series of bad things. Because of those things, he suffered from depression and took medicine for a long time, but later he gradually got better with Yu Ru's care and encouragement.

After Yu Ru passed away, those painful symptoms returned to him again, and the world turned back into a gloomy cemetery.

After taking the medicine, he returned to bed, turned off the lights and went to sleep. Before closing his eyes, he kissed Yu Ru in the portrait, "Aru, good night."

the next day,

Yun Jixing got up on time at seven o'clock, took care of everything, and went to work at the company.

After working so hard for so long, he no longer has to worry about material things. However, he is still as frugal as he was when he was poor. He tries to buy cheap things and adheres to the concept of buying good things rather than expensive things.

When Yu Ru lived with him before, she did not have the freedom of wealth and luxury. Now that she is gone, he really cannot enjoy a life of luxury alone. On the one hand, he feels it is unnecessary, and on the other hand, it would make him feel very hateful.

The only thing that can make him spend a lot of money is charity. In the pain and confusion of losing his loved ones, only charity and helping others to give back to society can bring him some comfort and help him find his own higher value.

……

At 6pm, Yun Jixing got off work on time. As soon as he left the company, he saw his good friend Jiang Zaizhou. It seemed that Jiang Zaizhou was waiting for him, so he quickened his pace and walked towards him.

"Little boat, why are you here?"

Jiang Zaizhou smiled and said, "Can't I come to see you if I have nothing to do? I can go out to eat with you."

"Of course." Yun Jixing showed a slight smile on his face.

They drove to the Chinese restaurant they usually go to for dinner. The old friends met and were very cordial. After they sat down in the restaurant, they immediately started chatting.

Jiang Zaizhou is Yun Jixing's best friend. The two have known each other for decades and have a very good relationship.

He was not told about what happened in his family at first. Later, Jiang Zaizhou himself discovered something was wrong. After learning about his difficulties, he immediately used all his pocket money that he had saved over the years and some of his own earnings to give to him without saying a word.

It was a very large sum, and it helped him to pay off a considerable part of his debts, and thanks to this money he was able to gain some respite in his life.

"Xiao Xin, come on, let's clink glasses." Jiang Zaizhou raised the drink in his hand and said.

Hearing this, Yun Jixing immediately picked up the drink in front of him and clinked glasses with Jiang Zaizhou sitting opposite him. After clinking glasses, the two of them suddenly became silent and ate the food on the table in silence.

After a long while, Yun Jixing said, "Xiao Xiao, I want to go abroad for euthanasia injection. When the time comes, please bring my body back."

Hearing this, Jiang Zaizhou was stunned, "What euthanasia? What do you mean?"

"It means, I don't want to live anymore."

Jiang Zaizhou put down his chopsticks, his face a little excited, "Have you forgotten what Xiaoru said to you before? She told you to live well, what are you going to do now so suddenly?"

Yun Jixing also put down his chopsticks. He lowered his eyes and looked at the food in front of him. He said in a weak voice, "Of course I remember. I remember everything she told me, but I really can't hold on any longer."

After hearing this, Jiang Zaizhou fell silent. He clenched his fists, and his facial muscles twitched slightly due to excessive emotions. He had a general idea of ​​his friend's situation, and he had a relatively serious depression.

Thinking about it, he was indeed suffering every day, and death might be easier. But Yun Jixing was his only close friend, and he had known him for so many years, so he really couldn't bear to let her go.

After a while, he responded, "Xiao Xin, I'm here with you, so you should think positively."

Yun Jixing looked at Jiang Zaizhou with gentle and calm eyes, "Xiao Xiao, I have thought about this matter for a long time and have made up my mind. I should have died a long time ago, and it was Aru who saved my life. It's time to give it back to her."

"I don't agree. Even Xiaoru would definitely not agree if he knew about this." Jiang Zaizhou said with a stern face.

Yun Jixing smiled bitterly, "Little Boat, you don't know, A Ru is the center of my life, my life revolves around her, without her, everything in this world is boring, I don't know what the meaning of my life is. Really, what do I look at now, of course, except you, everything is boring and uninteresting. Don't even think about finding hobbies to divert my attention, I don't have the mind and energy for that. Except for A Ru, no matter how beautiful a woman is, she is just moving clothes in front of me. You can understand that I am now impotent, no matter how beautiful and tempting a woman is in front of me, I am not interested and cannot get an erection. Fishing, tea, antiques, jade, stone appreciation, fragrance, drinking, singing and chatting, I don't want to play, the most fun thing for me is to lean against A Ru and watch TV, that's enough."

Jiang Zaizhou stared at Yun Jixing for a long time, then he tilted his head to one side, with a sad face, "I am still alone now, without a woman I love as much as you do. My father is old and will soon die. My mother has a good relationship with him, and she will definitely leave when the time comes. The people at work and those I eat with are all hypocrites, and their words are mostly lies. People around me are getting married and having children one after another, and they all have their own family lives. You are my best friend. If you leave too, I will really be the only one left alone in this world."

"sorry."

The meal ended in a bad mood because Yun Jixing proposed suicide.