My whole family is the protagonist, and I am the only cannon fodder!

Lu Qingwan felt like she was playing a clumsy childish trick, making some noises on her own, trying to attract everyone's attention, trying to focus everyone's attention on her, so that the people she valued and cared about the most would also see her.

But what is the point of all this?

Lu Zaozao probably wouldn't care either.

Lu Zaozao's eyes no longer stayed on her.

When she was a child, Lu Qingwan would get recognition and praise from Lu Zaozao for receiving a red flower reward from the teacher in kindergarten, achieving outstanding results, or successfully reciting a simple and short English article, but now there is no such possibility at all.

Lu Qingwan felt that everything was terrible.

She got off the car exhausted, feeling like a defeated soldier who would never win a battle again. She walked into the gate with a dusty face and dejected look, then walked up the stairs step by step, and finally pushed open the gatehouse and fell on the bed exhausted.

After a while, she got up from the bed again and rummaged through the boxes to find the letters that Lu Zaozao had written to her in previous years. Every letter from Lu Zaozao began with a sentence, "My dearest sister."

The first year of high school was the last time Lu Zaozao sent Lu Qingwan birthday wishes, a birthday gift and an envelope. Lu Qingwan opened the letter. Although she had read it hundreds of times, it seemed as if Lu Qingwan suddenly realized something at this moment.

The letter no longer began with "my dearest sister", but with two short words - Xiaoqing. Although Lu Zaozao had always been the only one who addressed her as such, it was easy for people to feel the intensity of the emotion from such subtle differences.

Especially when you have been loved and cherished sincerely, this feeling will be even stronger and more intense.

Lu Qingwan read the letter from beginning to end. In the end, Lu Zaozao was still wishing her a happy birthday. He wished her not only a happy birthday, but also hoped that she would be happy and joyful every year, every month, and every day of her life.

But my dearest sister, Lu Qingwan thought, you clearly wished me happiness so earnestly and sincerely, but why can't I be happy at all? Why are you so stingy to give me the right to be happy?

She held the edge of the letter with her fingers. The paper was so light and soft, but why did Lu Qingwan feel it was so heavy and sharp?

It was so heavy that her hands were shaking so badly that she could barely hold the thin piece of paper. It was so sharp that it almost cut the veins in her palms, causing warm blood to ooze out.

Every word in this letter was so soft, sincere and earnest, but why did Lu Qingwan feel it was so heavy, resolute and hard, like a heavy lead stone pressing on her heart, making it impossible for her to even breathe?

Lu Qingwan's tears flowed completely uncontrollably, like a crystal clear diamond, and fell with a "pop" on the thin paper that was almost weightless, blurring out the two words "Xiao Qing". The handwriting blurred rapidly, and it was difficult to tell what the words were later.

This letter no longer has the most special prefix and no designated recipient, and has become a birthday greeting template that can be sent to anyone - beautiful, neat, sincere, and filled with love.

Lu Qingwan's tears were still flowing. She held up the letter and stared at the two "Xiaoqing" characters that had become blurred by her tears. This letter was written specifically for her by Lu Zaozao, who wrote it stroke by stroke while sitting at the table. Even if others couldn't understand it, Lu Qingwan herself could understand it.

She just stared at those two words and thought very sadly and deeply - my sister, it turns out that from this moment on, you have been slowly deciding not to love me, right?

It turns out that everything started from this time.

Lu Qingwan hadn't noticed this at that time. She was a smart and innocent child, a child who felt that she would still be loved by Lu Zaozao, a child who was always forgiven by the whole world even if she did something wrong.

She felt that Lu Zaozao's love for her was a permanent substance, a chemical that existed forever. As long as she opened the sealed lid, she could smell the special scent.

She didn't think that this kind of love would deteriorate, become ineffective, shrink over time, and then dissipate.

Lu Qingwan's tears fell continuously, like a heavy rain brewing inside her body.

She knew nothing about Xie Huinian and Lu Qingwan. When Lu Zaozao was halfway through her homework, she was called downstairs to eat by Aunt Li. Aunt Li had already put all the dishes on the table and served the rice to Lu Zaozao, which was more in line with her appetite.

Forgetting to bring a spoon, Lu couldn't scoop the soup, so he stood up from his chair early and walked to the kitchen to get a spoon.

When taking the spoon, Lu Zaozao's hand suddenly shook for no reason, and the porcelain spoon fell to the ground and broke into pieces.

"Ouch..." Aunt Li ran over and grabbed Lu Zao Zao's hand, looking it up and down. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that Lu Zao Zao was not injured. Lu Zao Zao squatted down and wanted to pick up the broken pieces of the spoon, but Aunt Li stopped him one step faster, "Zao Zao, go out and eat first, I'll clean it up."

"Okay, I'm sorry Aunt Li, my hand accidentally slipped when I was taking it just now."

"Why should I apologize? It's just a spoon. There are many different kinds of spoons in the cupboard. I don't need this one."

Lu Zao Zao nodded and said "hmm", then sat back at the dining table.

Aunt Li quickly cleaned up the mess, then took out a spoon from the cupboard and served Lu Zao Zao a small bowl of tomato beef brisket soup. "Come on, Zao Zao, drink more. Your face has indeed become rounder than before. It seems you should eat more."

"But why do you still look a little bit depressed? Did you not get enough rest recently?"

"It's OK. I actually had a good rest." Lu Zaozao used her usual but very convincing excuse again. "Maybe the college entrance examination is in a few months, so I'm a little stressed. It's easy to think too much. It's okay. I'll be fine after these few months."

"Yeah." Aunt Li looked at her with some heartache, "Just grit your teeth and get through these three months, and it will be easy when you go to college. I can't help you with your studies, but just tell me what you want to eat or what you need, and I will definitely help you with the logistics."

"Okay, thank you Aunt Li."

Lu Zaozao finished the meal calmly and returned to her room. She immediately closed the door, leaned against it, took several deep breaths, and then took her left hand out from her sleeve. Her left hand was still shaking slightly.

Fortunately, it was her left hand, not her right hand for eating. Fortunately, she kept her hand in her sleeve, so Aunt Li did not suffer any abnormality.

Lu Zao Zao tightly grasped his left wrist, trying to stop the trembling.