My whole family is the protagonist, and I am the only cannon fodder!

He Feng suddenly turned his head and stared at him and asked: "Why do you say that?"

Xie Huinian raised his hand and pressed his brow, as if trying to ease some emotion. After a while, he said, "It's okay."

It was 3:47 in the morning. I took two melatonin pills, but I still didn't feel sleepy at all.

Xie Huinian opened his eyes in darkness. There was no light in the whole room. The thick and expensive blackout curtains blocked out the moonlight. Only the heater was still working diligently.

Raising his hand and turning on a night light on the bedside table very familiarly, Xie Huanian gently rubbed his temples. The pressure that had accumulated for a long time finally piled up at this moment, making him overwhelmed. He took a glass of cold water and passed it over his throat. The icy coldness instantly spread to his internal organs, making him feel a little uncomfortable.

Insomnia is a very common occurrence, and Xie Huinian has gotten used to it. The condition was slightly better in the one or two months after returning to China, but it has recurred more severely recently. He often stays awake until dawn and only feels a little sleepy in the early morning.

Qin Chuan, the psychologist who took over the case, had warned him for the second time that his psychological problems were already serious and he must remember to come for a face-to-face checkup in time and take his medication on time.

Xie Huinian didn't take this kind of thing too seriously, but the other party was a very famous psychologist recommended by a professor he respected very much before, and it took some time and effort for him to cooperate, so he reluctantly cooperated.

But it was different from what everyone thought, or it was very different - Xie Huinian's long-term mental illness was not entirely caused by the leg disease caused by the very serious car accident, nor did it have much to do with the long-term painful and endurance rehabilitation training.

It can even be said more firmly that Xie Huinian himself seemed to take the car accident very lightly, and the impact of the car accident on him seemed insignificant.

Even when the doctor asked him what would happen if he had not been diagnosed and treated in time or the subsequent maintenance work was not done well, resulting in him becoming a disabled person who could only sit in a wheelchair, Xie Huinian's attitude was still indifferent. He even smiled very lightly and said casually that it was okay, as if it was really an insignificant matter.

This was far beyond Qin Chuan's expectations.

Qin Chuan had never encountered such a difficult client in his more than ten years of psychological diagnosis and treatment. It was even difficult to judge from the other party's expression, tone and body movements whether he was telling the truth or a lie.

Although Xie Huinian would cooperate very well in talking about some of his recent symptoms, and even described some recent and past events in a very considerate and detailed manner, as if he was willing to tell everything he knew, it was obvious that he had no desire to reveal his true inner thoughts.

Even once.

Xie Huinian is just like this. As long as he doesn't want to say something, even if the other party puts a knife on his neck and is about to cut his aorta in the next second, he can still smile calmly.

Not nervous at all, not panic at all.

It's very difficult.

Qin Chuan hypnotized him several times with his consent. Even when Xie Huinian was in a deep sleep, he remained silent despite the doctor's constant guidance. Sometimes he would struggle desperately to wake up, as if he was trapped in a nightmare, sweating all over and looking exhausted.

But people's mental endurance is very limited after all. Even someone like Xie Huinian, who has very strong mental self-control, is no exception. Under the strong effect of drugs, Xie Huinian will also reveal some slightly true state.

"You broke your promise."

"Neither the sunset nor the ring belongs to me."

After a long time, as if at some point before waking up, he suddenly spoke in a very painful and sick voice, as if it had been rolled through boiling water, and it sounded very hoarse and low.

“…I hate you.”

The sentences are confusing and the thoughts are jumping. Except for himself, probably no one can know what these intermittent, incoherent words and short sentences mean, and what aspirations and past they contain and reflect.

Qin Chuan once tried to spy on Xie Huinian's past through these messy and fragmented sentences, and asked Xie Huinian patiently, but was met with Xie Huinian's silent silence. Soon, the other party used some joking and seamless words to cover up these things.

Even the most skilled doctors are helpless in dealing with such patients.

Xie Huinian's buried thoughts and secret past were areas he absolutely did not want to mention, and no amount of explanation or persuasion would help.

During another follow-up visit, the two sat face to face, and Qin Chuan earnestly told him the truth, "Mr. Xie, if you don't cooperate with the treatment, no matter how many times you come, it will not help your condition."

Xie Huinian shrugged and said with a smile: "Doctor Qin, I think I am quite cooperative. If you need, I can even show you the surveillance footage of my home during this period. They are recording my life all the time, except for some inconvenient private moments. If you don't believe my story, perhaps the cold surveillance footage will be more convincing."

Here it comes again. It is easy for Xie Huanian to downplay the real demand for outward release into a few jokes, and make it seem impeccable.

The incandescent light above his head was on brightly, and the bright white surface shone into Xie Huinian's eyes. The silent atmosphere made the treatment room look like a cage for interrogating prisoners, but it was hard to tell who looked more like a prisoner.

Qin Chuan sighed and said helplessly, "You are really the most difficult and stubborn patient I have ever had in all my years of practice."

"Thank you." Xie Hui laughed, his voice clear, "Doctor Qin, don't make the atmosphere so tense. We are just having a simple conversation. Don't look at me with such a worried look."

"Your condition is very bad." Qin Chuan said truthfully.

"is it?"

Xie Huinian leaned back in the chair with a relaxed posture. He didn't seem to care much about this question. He asked indifferently, "I feel fine. I can control my emotions and know what I am doing. Whenever I feel uncomfortable, I will miss classes for a long time to go to the hospital or lie down at home to recuperate. I cherish my life very much. This series of situations is not too bad in my opinion."

"It does look good. Your clinical manifestations and various test results are all maintained in a relatively normal and healthy state. But..." Qin Chuan bluntly exposed him.

"I'm not sure if your behavior is fake. After all, you have a criminal record. Sometimes you are very good at lying without any shame. You can be a diplomatic negotiator with such composure."

"I take that as a compliment."

Xie Huinian suddenly sat up straight, clasped his hands on the table, looked at the other person seriously, and spoke with such a strong voice that it was easy to convince others.

"But the situation this time is indeed different from before." Xie Huinian's pronunciation seemed to become a little difficult all of a sudden, and he spoke very slowly, as if he was thinking carefully before speaking, "I just feel that... I always make some painful choices, and I don't know whether they are right or wrong."