Re-embroidering life

Ji Zimo came to Shui Qinghua's room. He wanted to talk to his wife about the full moon banquet, but found Shui Qinghua writing and drawing on paper.

She was wearing a pink dress. From the side, her neck was slender and her lines were smooth and graceful, like a graceful hibiscus.

"What are you writing?" Ji Zimo walked behind her, stretched his neck and looked at her curiously.

Shui Qinghua was not aware of the presence of someone behind her, and she panicked. It was too late for her to cover the table. Two blushes appeared on her face, and she said nervously, "I am drawing down the embroidery techniques that I am good at, and will compile them into a set of embroidery manuals to pass on to my daughters in the future."

Ji Zimo had never seen Qinghua look like this before, and was stunned for a moment. Then he reacted and said in surprise, "You actually have such an ambition? Even if it's just an embroidery manual, recording and compiling it can be considered a book. If a girl in the boudoir can accomplish this, it's really amazing!"

Hearing Ji Zimo say this, Shui Qinghua was extremely happy, and her eyes curved into crescents with a smile. But she was still modest: "It's just the beginning, and it's still unknown what it will be like."

Speaking of embroidery, Ji Zimo thought of the embroidered screen with galloping horses. He hesitated for a moment, but decided to ask his wife openly.

"Qinghua, I remember I once left a painting of a galloping horse here for you to admire."

Shui Qinghua's heart skipped a beat. She knew that the Ji family would know about this sooner or later, but she didn't expect it to be so soon. But when the shoe really dropped, she was unusually calm.

The smile slowly faded. "Yes," she answered calmly.

"do you have……"

"Yes." Straightforward, without any hesitation.

Ji Zimo was stunned. He was still hesitating whether to ask and how to ask, but Shui Qinghua admitted it right away, as if she had been prepared for it.

"You want to ask why I want to embroider this screen and why I want to sell it." Shui Qinghua took a deep breath and said slowly, "I have been preparing a birthday gift for you a year ago. I originally intended to give you this embroidered screen on your birthday."

Ji Zimo never expected the answer to be like this. He then remembered that his birthday was in more than a month.

Shui Qinghua was filled with sadness, and tears fell involuntarily. She wiped them away and continued, "Why sell it? Because we need money! In fact, our third room has always been in a difficult situation. I know that you are devoted to pursuing calligraphy and painting, and I don't want to bother you with mundane affairs, let alone force you to make money. I can only do housework and take care of the children during the day, and do embroidery work at night to make ends meet. Even Fei'er, who is so young, has to help with the work. But my body can't support it anymore. I need money to hire someone to help me and to treat my illness, but the only thing I can sell and that is valuable is this embroidered screen. Do you understand?"

Ji Zimo's head was buzzing, as if it had been hit by a heavy hammer. He thought that his peaceful and happy family life was actually his wife silently shouldering everything, while he was enjoying it peacefully. His wife's words pulled down the literary character that he was proud of, revealing his embarrassing inner self.

He seemed to be under a spell. After a long time, his lips moved and his voice was hoarse: "Qinghua, I never knew that you and the child suffered so much. It's my fault."

Qinghua smiled bitterly, "Sanlang, you've told me many times that it's my fault. You also said it was my fault when Wei'er was born. I'm about to give birth and there's no one to take care of me, but you can still leave me alone at home. If it wasn't for Fei'er calling my mother, I might have died! Even if you admit your mistake, what can you save? What I want is not that you admit your mistake, but that you really care about us."

Shui Qinghua's voice was calm, but her words were like nails that pierced her heart and made her feel painful.

Since he was a child, he has been told by his elders that "men are responsible for the outside world, women are responsible for the inside world" and "men who manage the backyard are useless". He believes in these words and puts them into practice. He leaves the house to his wife and treats her with respect and courtesy. He always thinks that he is a good man and a good husband.

The moment my wife scolded me, the ideas I had believed in for more than 20 years collapsed.

Ji Zimo stumbled out of the yard. He had never been so embarrassed in his life, ashamed and defeated. He needed to find a place to calm down and think.

At night, the atmosphere in Ji's study was somewhat solemn.

Ji Zixuan is a dozen years older than Ji Zimo. Because his father passed away early, Ji Zimo can be said to have been raised by Ji Zixuan alone. An elder brother is like a father, and Ji Zixuan has been an official for many years and still has some influence. When facing Ji Zixuan, Ji Zimo always feels a mixture of fear and admiration.

Ji Zixuan looked at his handsome brother in front of him, his eyes full of admiration and comfort.

After a rest, Ji Zimo's complexion had returned to normal. He bowed deeply and said, "Brother, Bai Tianshui's words were unintentional and offensive. I apologize on her behalf."

"Forget it!" Ji Zixuan waved his hands. He was naturally unhappy, not because of what Shui Qinghua said, but because she challenged his authority as the head of the Ji family. But his wife and children were not right, and what his sister-in-law said was also true. He didn't have the nerve to argue openly. "Let women do what they want, men should not interfere."

His elder brother used to say this kind of thing often, and he always responded to it, but today he felt it was a bit harsh.

After a moment of silence, Ji Zimo spoke again, his tone serious and firm: "Brother, I plan to become a disciple of Master Dong and take the imperial examination again."

"Third brother, why are you doing this?" Ji Zixuan frowned and said in a deep voice, "We have been silent for these years, haven't we just to avoid party disputes and not to take sides? Now the most dangerous time has passed. I heard that the situation in the court is becoming clearer and clearer. In less than two years, the emperor will appoint a crown prince. At that time, eldest brother will have the opportunity to resume his official position. Whether you want to enter the government or become a famous scholar, it's up to you. Why are you so impatient now?"

"As everyone knows, Dong Daru is the Third Prince's enlightenment mentor. Whether he likes it or not, he has been labeled as a member of the Third Prince's party. If you become his disciple, you will be involved in party disputes in the future!" Ji Zixuan said earnestly.

Ji Zimo shook his head: "Brother, I have thought about it. These years, I have been devoted to pursuing calligraphy and painting, but I have neglected Qinghua and the children. Qinghua has been married to me for seven years, and her health is getting worse and worse. The doctor said that if she doesn't take good care of herself, she will live less than ten years."

Ji Zimo choked up, and calmed down before continuing, "If Qinghua hadn't had problems, I wouldn't have realized that I had been enjoying her care and had never taken on the responsibilities of a husband and a father. It will take time for my elder brother to be reinstated, but Qinghua's body can't wait. I'm already twenty-seven, and I can't keep hiding under my elder brother's wings. Although Dong Daru's identity is a hindrance, it may not be a help."

Ji Zixuan knew that it was difficult to change Ji Zimo's decision. He didn't care whether his sister-in-law lived or died, but he couldn't let the brothers be alienated. After thinking for a moment, he finally said, "In this case, you have to promise me that you will be careful at all times and don't get involved in party disputes easily."

Ji Zimo looked at his brother gratefully: "Thank you, big brother. I will be careful."

Ji Zixuan continued, "You also know that you are twenty-seven years old, you still don't have a son, and your wife is not in good health, do you want your sister-in-law to arrange for you to take in a concubine?"

Ji Zimo shook his head repeatedly after hearing this: "I don't have this idea. Doesn't the Ji family have a family motto that a man can take a concubine only when he is 40 and has no children? I'm still far away from that! Besides, being childless is not a big deal. My eldest brother and second brother both have sons, so the Ji family will not worry about having no successors!"

"What nonsense!" Ji Zixuan shouted. He was not angry when Ji Zimo asked him to become his disciple just now, but now his eyebrows were raised and his eyes were spitting fire. "You are unfilial if you think like this. How can you be worthy of the ancestors of the Ji family?"

Ji Zimo was shocked. He didn't expect his elder brother to be so angry. Even his mother only nagged him from time to time.

"You are the smartest and most outstanding son of the Ji family. You will definitely be the one to support the Ji family in the future." Perhaps feeling that he had lost his composure, Ji Zixuan softened his tone, "Brother, this is also for your own good. Think about it carefully."

Ji Zimo didn't understand what his elder brother said. How could a young son like him support the family? But he didn't dare to say more in this atmosphere. He bowed silently and left the study.