My youth romance is always confusing

Holding the key to Mitsuki's room, I stood outside the door, staring at the key in my hand without saying a word.

Miyuki has locked herself in the room now, and normally I shouldn't go in.

Because this closed door is like the last line of defense in her heart.

That is to say, she feels that this is the only room in the house that can give her a sense of security. If I barge in without asking for her opinion, I am actually telling her - 'There is no place in this house that belongs to you.'

I foresee how much harm this behavior will cause to the child now.

That's why I'm like this and can't make up my mind for a long time.

But, that's why I'm going to do this.

It's not just because she has to attend the funeral tomorrow, but also because her idea is based on a distorted perception.

She feels that this is the only place that can give her a sense of security, which means that other places are unfamiliar to her.

She unintentionally separated this family from herself, and I know exactly why.

Most likely, the child still thinks that he might return to his original home and his stay here is just for a short time.

Therefore, she can constantly convince herself to get along well with everyone here, and even when facing communication with others that she is not good at, she must try her best to overcome them.

All of this is based on the premise that the father has not died yet.

But today, this premise is lost.

That's why she feels so helpless.

In the final analysis, all of this is the little wish hidden deep in the heart of that child.

Facing this cold world, all I can do is deceive myself and numb myself.

I know that feeling.

That feeling that only you can help yourself, that feeling of powerlessness.

The key in my hand was held tightly in my palm, and the metal surface brought me a hint of coolness in the summer.

I fiddled with the key and looked at the door. My thoughts kept changing, and finally, the water drops fell between the rocks.

This is what is called making up one's mind.

He inserted the key into the door lock, turned it gently, and pushed open the door.

dark.

There was no light on in the room and the curtains were not open. Only the setting sun, which was almost disappearing, was faintly visible through the curtains, adding a hint of light to the entire room.

But that's about it.

I tried hard to find any trace of Mitsuki in the room.

On the bed, no.

At the table, no.

There is no door either.

Finally, I found her in the corner.

She looked at me with tear-stained eyes like a frightened kitten.

That look was completely different from the Mitsuki who had followed me home obediently before.

Fear, confusion, and helplessness filled her eyes.

I knew it was rude to barge in without asking the owner, so I didn't turn on the light.

After putting the dinner on the table, I sat on the bed.

Although it is summer, I feel that the room is a little cold.

Silent.

I didn't look at Mitsuki, but I knew she was looking at me.

I don't know how to comfort someone who has lost a loved one because I haven't been there.

My parents are still alive, my sister is lively and cute, and although I see my grandparents less often, they are in good health, as are my grandparents-in-law.

Maybe one day in the future I will have to face what Mitsuki is going through now, but right now, I really can't empathize with her and experience it from her perspective.

However, this is no reason for me to sit idly by.

"Are you going to stay like this all night?"

It was Hachiman's words that pierced the silence in the room.

Listening carefully, the whimpering sound that was just coming from the corner slowly stopped.

Mitsuki drooped her eyelids and did not answer.

"Tomorrow is Mr. Takamiya's funeral."

Miyue in the corner trembled a little, but still didn't speak.

Regardless of whether she responded or not, I continued talking.

"You're going."

It was a bit mean, but I took advantage of the kid's maturity.

I know that as long as I say this, no matter how uncomfortable she is now, tomorrow she will walk out of this room like she did in the past.

After saying this, I didn't stay in the room any longer. I walked out of the room and closed the door.

"Whoo~"

I have never hated myself as much as I do now.

This kind of despicable act of taking advantage of others should obviously not be used in this way.

When I returned to the living room, Komachi was no longer there.

Did that guy go take a shower?

Hearing the faint sound of water in the bathroom, I decided to go back to my room to rest.

My back kissed the soft bed, and the fatigue of the day was transferred from my body to the bed.

"what."

The light feeling of comfort coming from my back made me sink directly into the pleasure.

The eyelids of both eyes slowly slid down.

No, there's something else.

I almost fell asleep, so I quickly got myself out of bed.

"I was so scared, I thought I was going to fall asleep."

I twisted my neck, took out my cell phone from my pocket and dialed the number on it.

After a few busy tones, a slightly drunken voice came over.

"Hikigaya? What?"

For some reason, it was a bit noisy over there. Are they drinking?

I could faintly hear the voice of "Xiao Jing, have another drink~" through the phone.

Why does this voice sound familiar?

No matter what, business matters.

"Mr. Hiratsuka, I may not be able to go to school tomorrow."

"Ah? What's wrong with you again?"

Hearing this, Hiratsuka Shizuka, who was already a little drunk, sobered up again.

After pushing the woman's dog paw off her shoulder, she cleared her throat.

"You've already asked for leave once before. If you ask for another leave within a short period of time, I'm afraid the Education Department won't grant it."

“…”

I held my phone and looked out the window, which had become pitch dark.

"Thank you, teacher."

The overly low voice made the remaining drunkenness of Hiratsuka Shizuka dissipate along with the breeze in her ears.

She adjusted her sitting position.

"Really? If you really think it's a bother for me, then you should work hard on your math, so that the old man won't come to me all day to complain, saying things like, 'Ah, how did he get a score of 9? Did this guy really get into Sobu High School through an exam?' I've heard this kind of talk so many times that my ears are callused."

"Uh. Teacher, you know that math is beyond our control. How can I possibly learn something like 'arithmetic progression' that sounds like a middle school move?"

"Stop making excuses, you just don't want to learn."

Shizuka Hiratsuka stroked her dizzy head and sighed.

"Anyway, just do what you need to do, don't worry about this or that. I, your teacher, am not at the point where I need you to worry about me."

"..."

My hand holding the phone felt a little unnatural.

"Yes."

Shizuka Hiratsuka hung up the phone with an indifferent look on her face and pulled the wine over.

"Is it Hikigaya-kun?"

Yukinoshita Haruno, who had been listening with a glass of wine in her hand, finally interrupted.

Her painted nails looked even more charming against the transparent glass.

"Ah, that kid is in trouble again."

The female teacher picked up the glass and poured the wine into her mouth.

"Woo~"

Shizuka Hiratsuka felt the taste in her mouth and frowned.

"Sure enough, I still prefer beer to red wine."

"You drink so much, be careful not to lose your figure."

"Hehe, I'm known as the beer queen. Not to mention when I'm thirty, even if I'm forty, my figure won't be out of shape because of drinking."

As night fell, the bar was still noisy.

--------------

next day

Maybe God has become sentimental. The sky is filled with dark clouds and the sun is hiding far away behind the clouds.

I turned on the TV and a sweet-voiced and beautiful host was reporting today's weather.

"It will rain in some parts of Chiba Prefecture today..."

I stood in front of Mitsuki's door with the breakfast Komachi had prepared.

I didn't hide my footsteps, I just wanted her to know I was coming.

Sure enough, before I knocked on the door, Miyue, with messy hair, opened the door.

The little face that originally looked like a porcelain doll was now covered with traces of tears from the night.

But it can be seen that she has adjusted her mood.

She stood in front of the door with an expressionless face, just like me now.