I went on a blind date with the wrong person and got married to a pig farmer.

"Don't tell me you wrote this certificate yourself."

Li Qiang: "This...I wrote it. How? Can you tell?"

Yang Cheng fell silent as he looked at the paper in his hand.

Name: Li Qiang, Age: 28, Hospital diagnosis certificate, these words are printed.

The patient's toenails turned black because they were pricked by a cell phone, which caused bleeding on the nails and eventually turned the nails black. PS: He doesn't have gray nails.

These words were handwritten. Not only were there many typos, but they were also written crookedly, as if they had been crawled by chicken claws.

and also……

"You don't know how to write the word 'yu' for bruises, so just sit there and do nothing. Why don't you come back and look it up in the dictionary?"

"Uh..." Li Qiang looked ashamed, "I haven't written for a long time. I wanted to look up this word before writing it down, but I forgot."

"Okay, and you're awesome. This seal is so realistically forged!"

"That's true. I gave a bunch of candied haws to Dr. Zhu Chijiao's grandson and asked him to help me steal it."

Yang Cheng: …

"Then why do you write it yourself? Won't the doctor prescribe it? It's not a serious illness. Why should the doctor be embarrassed?"

"Dr. Zhu said he could only confirm that my toenails turned black because I was hit by a mobile phone, but he couldn't confirm that I didn't have onychomycosis.

He said that there is an incubation period after contracting onychomycosis, and he couldn’t prove that I wasn’t in the incubation period…”

"Oh my god!"

After hearing this, Yang Cheng quickly threw the paper in his hand back to him and rubbed his hands nervously.

Li Qiang:......

“Toenail fungus cannot be transmitted through paper!”

Li Qiang finally pouted, "I mean, I really don't have onychomycosis. Wow, that doctor said he couldn't issue such a certificate. What if, he meant what if, what if I really get it in the future, and the villagers know that he proved that I don't have it, his reputation will be ruined."

Yang Cheng: …

Damn! That seems to make sense!

"Uh..." Yang Cheng lowered his head and thought for a while, "Your method of issuing a fake certificate is feasible, that is, using Dr. Zhu's name, because you don't really have onychomycosis, so it doesn't count as ruining his reputation.

Anyway, you really don’t have onychomycosis, right? ? "

Li Qiang stood up straight and said seriously: "I guarantee with my brother's life that I really didn't get it!"

Li Gang stopped chopping wild vegetables and said, "He has onychomycosis. It's all over his body. It's in his mouth, on his hands, on his navel, on his genitals, and on his toenails..."

Yang Cheng: "Damn it, stop talking, ugh ugh ugh..."

This person is poisonous!

Yang Cheng covered his chest, feeling like he was about to vomit out the acid in his stomach.

After a while, she covered her eyes with her hands to prevent her peripheral vision from seeing Li Gang, and walked with crab steps while saying, "Li Qiang, come with me to the front."

Yang Cheng was originally talking to Li Qiang about Wei Qianfan, but ended up talking about onychomycosis for a long time. Yang Cheng was speechless.

The two walked to a big tree. After Yang Cheng confirmed that he could not see Li Gang, he said:

"Ask Wei Qianfan to write you a fake leave note tomorrow. He will definitely write better than you."

"Oh!" Li Qiang patted his head, "I didn't expect that."

"Okay, let's not talk about this anymore. I came to you today because I need your help with something."

"You tell me, I'll do it."

Yang Cheng told her that a beautiful woman would pass by Wei Qianfan's feces cleaning department tomorrow and needed him to match them up.

"Anyway, just say something nice, praise it as much as you can, okay?"

Li Qiang solemnly promised to act well. As a man whose love life is blocked, he understands the pain of not getting what you want. At the same time, he also hopes that his idol can find a partner soon.

After explaining everything, before leaving, Yang Cheng said to Li Qiang earnestly:

"Please help me take good care of Ah Dai and keep him away from your brother so that he won't be contaminated."

"Don't worry, Ah Dai is with me every day, I am clean and pure."

Yang Cheng nodded and finally left the wild vegetable digging department with peace of mind.

The next afternoon.

Wei Qianfan was relatively idle today. After flushing the pig manure pit in the morning, he had nothing to do.

Now he is lying on a long chair playing games.

His name in the game is "The Soul-Charming Male Baboon" and he is currently leading a girl named "The Soul-Stealing Female Orangutan" to pass the levels.

Originally, Wei Qianfan never played games with girls because he thought they were too bad.

If you can't win, you'll either say "嘤嘤嘤", "Little brother, take me with you...", or "Stupid Dio, what the hell is this?", "Useless son, daddy doesn't want to beat you anymore."...

Until one day, he saw a girl showing off her skills by herself in a pool, and this girl's name was a perfect match for his own.

He followed this girl for two hours and was completely impressed by her skills. All men have a desire to win, and he was no exception, so he joined the battle. Unexpectedly, after two rounds, Wei Qianfan could not keep up at all, and the girl said she would not follow him anymore.

"A waste of Daddy's time."

Wei Qianfan was angry and he was going to cheat.

As a "former" employee of Star City Game Company, and previously the director of the operations department, it is very easy for him to ask colleagues to help him cheat when playing the games developed by his own company.

So, Wei Qianfan, who had turned on his skills, and the girl showed off their skills together, going in and out together, and having a lot of fun.

Wei Qianfan, who had never been into online romance, was actually a little moved and even wanted to ask the girl out for a date and drink milk tea, but the girl said, "I only like handsome guys. Your profile picture is too ugly. I don't like the pectoral muscles of an ugly baboon."

He looked at the girl's profile picture speechlessly. Isn't the female gorilla's butt that good-looking?

The girl who refused to meet in person did not refuse to play games with her, and the two of them even played a few games from time to time.

"Brother Wei, are you done yet? Can you help me write something?"

Li Qiang had been waiting for him for half an hour.

"Wait five more minutes."

A few minutes later, Wei Qianfan finally put down his phone.

He took the paper from Li Qiang, asked him what he wanted, wrote a few big words with his hand, and then handed it back to him.

Li Qiang was satisfied.

I wonder what kind of wife the handsome and talented Wei will marry?

Yang Cheng said today that a beautiful woman would come, and he must get along well with her. The handsome man and the beautiful woman are a perfect match.

Half an hour later, Li Qiang finally received Yang Cheng's message.

Through the window, he saw a beautiful woman in yellow clothes and with long flowing hair.

"There's a beautiful lady over there, let's go see her!"

He pulled Wei Qianfan and walked out.

Wei Qianfan didn't believe that there were any beautiful women in the pig farm. However, he had seen two crazy and weird women in the few days since he started working there.

After being pulled over by Li Qiang, I didn't expect that she was actually quite good-looking, with big eyes, high nose bridge, and except for the dark spots on her skin, she was a real beauty.

This beauty is standing under a tree, reading a book attentively - "Postmodern Management Model of Sows".

"Hello, beautiful lady, are you an employee of our pig farm?"