The couple made a living in the 1950s.

In my earliest memory, Qingshu was a beautiful little doll.

She is prettier than the dolls my grandma took me to see in the foreign trade store.

I can't take my eyes off it.

Moreover, the doll in Aunt Yu's house can cry.

When she is unhappy, she just pouts.

Tears fall down one by one, and the person's heart becomes soft.

There are no girls in my family, and my father often says, "Men don't shed tears easily."

My younger brother rarely cried after he was seven or eight years old.

I am becoming more and more interested in Qingshu, this little crybaby.

Qingyi and I get along well and we often play together.

Qingshu and Qingxiang can never live without their brother.

So, I had the opportunity to start observing why the baby cried.

Later, when I grew up a little more.

I slowly discovered that all three of Aunt Yu’s brothers and sisters are good-looking.

The best looking one is Qing Xiang.

Just, I don't know why.

My eyes are all on Qingshu.

What will always linger in my mind is the year when I had two little pigtails.

The little girl stood under the pomegranate tree and called me "Brother Mingbo".

Later, Qingshu and his siblings started going to school.

We studied in the same junior high school.

It was also that year that the relationship between my family and Qingshu's family became distant.

At that time, I still stubbornly believed that this should not have any impact.

I continue to enjoy watching my little doll.

I am three years older than Qingshu and his sister, and I am always busy with their studies and chores at school.

I should take care of them.

This way I will have more opportunities to continue to be with them.

My grandmother used to say that everything should be done as long as it does not violate the law or go against morality.

Everything is up to my heart.

When I first fell in love, I spent a long time silently despising myself in my heart.

I don’t know when it started.

I saw that in Qingshu's eyes, there was no longer the simple love and curiosity for beautiful dolls that I had as a child.

There, other things slowly began to appear.

So much so that I was afraid I would scare her away.

I put myself in a dilemma, caught between a rock and a hard place.

When I was a child, I read "Book of the Later Han".

Whenever I read "Loss in the east, gain in the west."

I strongly agree that people should not be discouraged by temporary failure.

We must judge the situation and turn disadvantages into advantages.

Even if you lose in this aspect at the beginning, you will definitely gain in other aspects.

It doesn't matter whether you gain or lose.

Until I repeatedly confirmed my possessiveness towards Qingshu.

Whenever I think of this sentence, I feel inexplicably annoyed.

In this world, obviously not all people and things can withstand gains and losses.

Some people, once lost, can never be recovered.

Even if I get more in the future, it will not be the one I want most.

For a long time, I was like a shameless voyeur.

I was afraid that Qingshu would find out about my feelings for her and firmly reject me.

But I couldn't bear to be away from her.

I always want to appear in front of her, even if it's just to glance at her unintentionally.

When Qingyi has time, he will bring Qingshu and Qingxiang home to listen to his grandmother reading books.

Even when I started high school, they would still come over from time to time.

At this time, I was basically busy studying in my bedroom to prepare for the college entrance examination.

Even if I don't meet her, the joy in my heart knowing she is at home can still easily disturb my mood.

time flies.

When I was studying in military school, I never had the chance to go home.

In the blink of an eye, Qingshu reached the age of marriage.

I was miserable every day.

I have never been so scared in my life.

I'm afraid that she will fall in love with someone else, and I'm afraid that she will reject me too bluntly.

Don't leave room for each other.

I was afraid of Auntie Hanyu because my mother didn't like Qingshu marrying me.

I am even more afraid that she will not like me loving her because of the relationship between our two parents.

As far as I can remember, all my fears were caused by her.

Relations between our two families had been lukewarm until I started writing to her frequently.

Uncle Bai and Aunt Yu respected grandma very much and loved me and my brother very much.

But there's always a lack of closeness.

I didn't dare to ask my father to come to my house and propose marriage to me, for fear that her pretty little mouth would say something I didn't want to hear.

No one knows that her words can send me to heaven or hell.

I didn't feel truly at ease until we got our marriage certificate.

When we applied to military academies, our majors were assigned by the state.

I study military command.

When I graduated and joined the company, the boundaries between military cadres and political cadres in our major were not clear.

I was really worried that Qingshu would have a hard life, so I went against everyone's opinion and trained with the military cadres and went out on missions together.

I almost didn't come back from that mission.

I was scared at that time because I couldn't let go of my grandma, dad, brother and mom.

I can't let go of Qingshu.

If I sacrifice myself here, she will probably like someone else in the future.

Before I fell into a coma, I was thinking about what I would do if the man she married in the future treated her badly.

I can't trust her to anyone.

When I woke up again, I had just finished the operation.

Lying on a hospital bed in the military hospital.

Later, I was transferred to Xiehe Hospital to recuperate.

This was the first time I had a secret with Qingshu.

She always thought that I no longer went on missions because my superiors required everyone to do their own job.

It is not recommended for political cadres to bypass military cadres to carry out tasks.

I didn't let her know that my body was never as flexible as it had been before the injury.

In fact, it’s also nice to watch her relax every day.

She doesn't have to worry about me.

I don't have to be afraid of leaving her.

At first, I thought my father-in-law and mother-in-law would keep Qingshu with them for a few years.

I am ready to go home to visit my family every year.

Later, she joined the army.

I just feel like I have nothing else to ask for.

When we first got together, I couldn't help wanting to stick to her.

Grandma said that her mother-in-law had contacted her and didn't want Qingshu to have a baby too early.

I'm happy with this too.

It's just the two of us living together every day.

I can’t remember which day it was, but when Lin Kar-wai saw me hesitant to speak, he began to talk.

I just found out that people in the family building were saying that Qingshu had been married for so long but still had no children.

It should be impossible to have children.

At that time, I was very worried that she would feel uncomfortable hearing these words.

I just want to have a baby as soon as possible.

We are all not young anymore.

The parents of both sides also started to mention this topic.

She may not remember that I asked her about the child when she was distracted.

She asked me to take safety measures.

Since then, I never mentioned having children again.

There were times when I felt really bad.

I deliberately made her unable to control herself and secretly stopped using birth control products.

She didn't mention taking safety measures again.

In fact, I should have asked her later if she wanted to have a baby for me.

I made myself feel upset for such a long time for no reason.

Qingshu and I have three children.

This is the best gift I have ever received.

I am lucky to have a grandmother who doesn't love my mother.

Later, I was transferred back to work in the Beijing Military Region.

It was the first time that grandma met Qingshu.