Siheyuan, integrating everything, cultivating the city

"Drink some water, Xiangqian, take a rest first, and we'll go together later." Yi Zhonghai's voice interrupted Li Xiangqian's thoughts. Li Xiangqian came to his senses and saw Yi Zhonghai walking out from the corner where the goods were stacked, holding a bottle of mineral water in his hand and handed it to him.

Li Xiangqian forced a smile and took the bottle, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I know you're not feeling well." Yi Zhonghai's eyes were gentle and imperceptible, as if he had already seen the heaviness in Li Xiangqian's heart. He leaned against the wall, his pipe popping from time to time, and the smile on his lips was a bit cynical. "Are you a little bit abnormal recently? Are you really annoyed by the matter between you and Lin Xiaoyu?"

Li Xiangqian did not answer immediately, but lowered his head and drank a few sips of water. He felt his throat dry, as if he had drunk not only water, but also some emotions that he had been unwilling to face. As the water flowed through his throat, he finally spoke: "It's not that I don't want to take care of my family, but I just feel that I haven't done enough. I have been trying to make some changes and give Lin Xiaoyu a better future, but every time she...she always thinks that I am not doing it right." He paused, his eyes a little confused, "She wants me to let go of those responsibilities and do something I want to do. I also know that she is doing this for my own good, but I just can't do it."

Yi Zhonghai frowned, as if he heard the confusion in Li Xiangqian's words. He was silent for a moment, then slowly spoke: "You know, I have had similar thoughts. Everyone wants freedom, wants to escape from those shackles, especially the responsibilities in marriage. But in the end, you find that those responsibilities are your ties and an inescapable force. You try to break free, but it always pulls you back when you least expect it. Every time you want to throw away these responsibilities, there will be a voice in your heart reminding you: You can't just ignore it."

Li Xiangqian was shocked when he heard what Yi Zhonghai said. Indeed, every time he wanted to let go of these responsibilities, there was a voice in his heart telling him that he could not escape. That was responsibility, that was family, and even the promise to Lin Xiaoyu, or the promise to this family. Every time he tried to escape, he couldn't help himself in the end.

"I know." Li Xiangqian whispered, his voice as low as a heavy stone pressing on his chest, "I know that Lin Xiaoyu's worry is not unreasonable. But she will never understand that it's not that I don't want to take care of my family, but sometimes I really hope that I can stop carrying so much."

Yi Zhonghai's eyes softened slightly. He picked up his pipe, puffed softly, and exhaled a circle of smoke. "Go forward. In fact, you already know in your heart that escape is never the solution to the problem. Since you have chosen to take this path, you have to bear all the consequences, even if it is not so easy sometimes."

Li Xiangqian frowned, but a complex emotion suddenly rose in his heart. He knew that what Yi Zhonghai said was true, but that didn't mean he could accept it from the bottom of his heart. He always felt that he was caught between the two. He wanted to let go and pursue some kind of freedom, but he had to remind himself all the time that he still had responsibilities and he couldn't let down those who depended on him.

"You're right." Li Xiangqian's voice was a little choked, and the bitterness in his heart had nowhere to be released. "But I'm unwilling to give up. I really don't want to live in other people's expectations forever. I also want to be myself. There are many things I want to do. I want to do my own things, even if it means leaving here and maybe going out to see the world."

"Then why don't you do it?" Yi Zhonghai suddenly turned his head and looked at Li Xiangqian, with a sharp light flashing in his eyes.

Li Xiangqian was stunned for a moment, as if he didn't expect Yi Zhonghai to ask such a straightforward question. He lowered his head, and his thoughts returned to the seemingly endless road. Yes, why not do it? He thought many times about going somewhere else, far away, to live the life he wanted, but every time he thought of the responsibilities he had to bear and the faces behind him who longed for a stable life, he gave up.

"I... I'm afraid I can't do it." Li Xiangqian answered in a low voice, with a hint of unspeakable helplessness in his tone, "I'm afraid that if I let go of everything, those people will be dragged down, especially Lin Xiaoyu, who always silently gives. If I make an irresponsible decision, I'm afraid she will regret it."

Yi Zhonghai sighed, slowly exhaled a puff of smoke, and was silent for a moment, as if considering how to respond. Finally, he said softly: "You are right, sometimes responsibility can really make people breathless. But you also have to understand that marriage and family are not constraints, but supports. If you can find a balance point and find a way for yourself and your family to coexist, perhaps you will find that everything is not as unbearable as you imagined."

Li Xiangqian listened to Yi Zhonghai's words, and suddenly a clear idea flashed through his mind. He had always thought that he was avoiding some kind of responsibility, but in fact, he was avoiding facing the contradiction deep in his heart. He was afraid of change, afraid of loss, but more afraid of responsibility.

He suddenly realized that what really confused him was not the responsibility, but the fact that he had never really faced the heaviness of these responsibilities. Li Xiangqian took a deep breath, gently pinched the mouth of the bottle with his fingers, and his heart began to calm down a little. Perhaps it was time to really face the problems he had been avoiding.

"You're right." Li Xiangqian finally spoke, his tone no longer as confused as before, "I need to find a way to balance these things. Otherwise, I will be trapped here forever and will never be able to truly be free."

Yi Zhonghai smiled and patted Li Xiangqian on the shoulder. "That's right, Xiangqian. In fact, you already have the answer in your heart, but you have never dared to face it. Take it one step at a time, and there will always be a way to solve the problem."

As the night deepened, the air gradually became colder. Li Xiangqian stood at the gate of the courtyard, with the dim eaves behind him and the courtyard in silence. The moonlight sprinkled on the stone slabs in the courtyard, casting mottled shadows. He looked down at his watch, it was almost midnight. Lin Xiaoyu had just fallen asleep, and he knew that tonight was the only time he could sneak out of the house.

Tonight, his mood was still heavy, but the desire for freedom in his heart became stronger and stronger. He didn't want to be bound anymore, nor did he want to live in the expectations of others. Everything around him seemed to be oppressing him. He needed an outlet and a space of his own. So he made a decision - to go for a walk in the field.

Li Xiangqian walked quietly across the yard, making almost no sound.