Siheyuan, integrating everything, cultivating the city

He turned over and closed his eyes to try to relax, but the questions that were overwhelming him kept coming up in his mind: How could the family get by? How many months would the cost of his mother's medicine last? When would his wife's resentment towards him fade away? And would He Yuzhu be in trouble again after the bullying he had suffered last time?

These questions popped up one after another, like weeds that could not be eradicated. He couldn't help but sigh, and tried to keep his voice very low for fear of waking up Liu Cui'e beside him. But this kind of repression made him feel even more depressed. He simply climbed up from the kang quietly, put on his coat, and tiptoed out of the room.

The night was as thick as ink, and only the faint starlight was sprinkled on the ground in the yard, and he could barely see the road under his feet. Li Xiangqian leaned against the wall, looking up at the stars above his head in a daze. He remembered that when he was a child, he often lay on the ridge of the field to look at the stars. At that time, he always thought that one day he would leave the village and see the outside world. But now, not only did he not go out, he was also tied to a courtyard and endless trivial matters.

He smiled bitterly, took out a cigarette and lit it. The night wind blew, the cigarette butt flickered, and his thoughts drifted away with the smoke. Halfway through smoking, he suddenly heard a slight sound of footsteps. He was startled and looked back, only to find that it was He Yuzhu who walked out of the next door room.

"Xiang Qian? It's so late, and you haven't slept yet?" He Yuzhu was obviously a little surprised and raised his hand to greet him.

"Yeah." Li Xiangqian nodded, stubbed out his cigarette and threw it on the ground. "I couldn't sleep, so I came out to get some fresh air."

He Yuzhu came over and stood against the wall next to him. He didn't ask much, but just handed him a cigarette. The two of them tacitly maintained a brief silence.

After a while, He Yuzhu finally spoke: "Is there something on your mind? I noticed that you don't look very well recently, as if you are worried about something."

Li Xiangqian wanted to deny it, but when he saw He Yuzhu's concerned eyes, he suddenly felt that there was no need to hold on any longer. He lowered his head to look at the ground, and after a long while he whispered, "Brother Zhuzi, do you think we can survive this?"

As soon as he said this, he was stunned. He thought these repressed thoughts were just turning around in his mind, but he didn't expect them to come out at this moment. He looked up and saw He Yuzhu frowning, as if he was thinking about this question seriously.

"Hold on." He Yuzhu said calmly, but with a sense of certainty, "What else can we do if we don't hold on? We men are born to do these hard and tiring jobs, but as long as we are alive, we have to grit our teeth and hold on. Besides, how can it rain all the time in the world? There will always be an end."

Li Xiangqian listened but didn't say anything. He knew that what He Yuzhu said made sense, but it sounded like self-consolation. He looked up at the stars in the sky and asked softly, "But what if there is no sunny day? What if we are trapped here for the rest of our lives and can't get out?"

This sentence made He Yuzhu silent for a moment. He raised his head and stared at the deep night sky, and lowered his voice a little: "Xiang Qian, you know I am different from you. I have no home, no wife or children, and the courtyard is everything to me. What about you? You have a wife, children, and a home waiting for you to support. Our paths are different, but no matter what, we have to keep going. If you really can't walk anymore, just call me, and we can always make it together."

Li Xiangqian felt warm in his heart, but also sad. He nodded, his voice choking with sobs: "Brother Zhuzi, thank you. But sometimes I really feel like I can't hold on any longer."

He Yuzhu patted his shoulder and said comfortingly: "Don't think too much, take a break when you are tired, and don't push yourself too hard. Although our life is hard, you have to remember one thing - you still have people to rely on, and there are people who care about you. Just based on this point, we are much better than those lonely people."

These words made Li Xiangqian feel so complicated that he felt like he was tied up in a knot. He lowered his head, not daring to look into He Yuzhu's eyes, and just nodded to show that he understood. But he knew that his knot in his heart could not be untied by a few words of comfort. He always thought that a man should stand tall and upright, and support the world with his own strength, but reality has made him understand time and time again that sometimes no matter how hard he tries, he can't change the shackles of fate.

The two stood for a while, He Yuzhu yawned, waved his hand and said, "Okay, it's almost dawn, I have to go back to sleep. You should also go back to the room early, don't let your sister-in-law find out that you ran out in the middle of the night, it will be another trouble."

Li Xiangqian nodded and watched He Yuzhu's back disappear into the night. He did not go back immediately, but continued to stand there, letting the cool breeze blow on his face. His mind was still confused, but He Yuzhu's words made him realize one thing: no matter what, he had to bite the bullet and move forward on this road.

The morning mist had not yet dissipated, and Li Xiangqian, feeling depressed, wandered alone along the path outside the village. His steps were slow, and the soles of his shoes occasionally scraped against the ground, making a rustling sound. The weeds on the roadside swayed gently in the breeze, and dew hung on the leaves, shining in the rising sun. This was originally a peaceful painting, but his heart was still restless.

Li Xiangqian accidentally glanced down and saw a piece of wood, thick and crooked lying on the side of the road, as if it had been thrown away by someone. He walked closer and found that it was not an ordinary piece of wood, but a crudely made crutch.

He squatted down and picked up the cane. It was obvious that the cane had been used for a long time, the surface of the wood was polished smooth, and there were traces of sweat on the place where the hand was holding it. The end of the cane was a little cracked, and it looked old but practical.

"Whose stuff is this?" Li Xiangqian muttered to himself, stood up, and looked around. There was no one on the road, and the only sound was the breeze blowing through the grass. He wondered: There are not many people walking around here, how did this crutch end up here?

He touched the surface of the cane, felt the fine textures, and couldn't help imagining the owner of the cane. Perhaps it was an elderly person, trembling with it to support himself, taking every step with difficulty; or perhaps it was a person with injured legs and feet, who needed it to help him move every day. No matter who it was, the cane was obviously an indispensable companion in his life.

Li Xiangqian felt a complex emotion. He suddenly felt that although his life was difficult, he did not need to rely on such a cane. Compared with those with physical disabilities, he was still healthy, which was a rare blessing.